Could I get everyone's opinion...

[secretdawn]

I was thinking about entering this in a contest, could i get everyone's opinion:
it is for song lyrics

Path

On my path to find the righteous the truth to be free
I found everyone looking down on me
Saying things I think are of a judgemental quality
And the lives they choose to live are their's to be seen

Oh He's there and He sees the things you claim that you can't change
you believe that the way you are is the way you're meant to be
But you won't raise your eyes to Him so you can't see
He never wanted you to feel this pain, caused by all the trouble for your fight to stay the same
If you'd reach out to him, sit down and pray, then you could hear Him sayin'
what he always says

I love you and I need you in My life
All I want for you is to be the best in My eyes
I have given you my only Son
How much more do I have to do for you to come Home
Call out to your Shepard and he will lead you back
To harmony and love and all the peace that you lack
Oh I love you please come back to Me
Reach out your shaking hand and believe

I never said I think they're wrong
Or bad or sinful demons with their souls far gone
But the law was written down for so long
And I just want them singing the good Lord's song
You're happy how you are or so you say
so how come you feel so alone anyway
come on and reach out to Him fall down and pray
Scream it to the heavens let me hear you say

I love You and I need You in my life
All I want to be is the best in Your eyes
You have given me Your only Son
You gave me so much I want to come Home
Lord, my Shepard, won't you lead me back
To harmony and love and all the peace that I lack
Oh I love You won't You please forgive me
Take my shaking hand Oh God I believe!
(repeat)

 

[seangoh]

Hmm..i like the progression in the lyrics from being independent to being dependent. Not much i can say here unless i hear it sung.

 

[growingupinhim]

I enjoyes it..be nice to hear it in music one day!

 

[secretdawn]

There in lies the problem...i don't know how to write music...but there was a contest that they would put your words to music, so i thought i would try it...just wanted to make sure it was good...though if anyone knows how write music it would be nice to talk...