I am concerned for my boyfriend; I think he may be suffering from depression and doesn't know it. In the last couple of months, he's started acting differently and he's just not being "him". My mom agrees with my hypothesis- and she was diagnosed with depression (resulting from a long illness), which fortunately she recovered from. But she knows what it's like. Anyway, here is the deal:
My boyfriend is 29 and a 1st year lawyer. His parents divorced when he was 10, and his mom's second husband died of a heart attack in February. My bf wasn't terribly close to the husband as they were married while my bf was in law school, but he is very close to his mom and his two younger brothers. So there's all sorts of family pressure there. His last "real" relationship was 4 years ago- she dumped him, but there were problems with her, of which I know nothing and don't care to, though at this point, it might help. He is a sweet, caring, thoughtful, affectionate guy- great with kids, super-friendly, everyone adores him. He's just a "nice" guy, you know? He has a wonderful sense of humor and a heart like a little kid. I just love him.
In June, he was sworn in to the Virginia Bar, and expected a promotion in his job- he didn't get one. And they told him that he wasn't "qualified" enough to get one. Ever since then, he's been acting weird. He tends to shut down and be quiet and not talk to anyone, including me, even if I'm sitting right next to him- he just stares at the TV. He hasn't been to church in a month, and stopped going to our community group awhile ago- normally, he never misses either. He makes no real effort to be social and spends a lot of evenings in his room looking at bike parts on Ebay. He hates his job, then claims that he doesn't, but he says how he's sick of being a lawyer and wants to do something else- ridiculous things like be a mountain bike instructor. But he doesn't make much of an effort to find a new job. He complains about money because he has law school loans and wants to move back home where it's "cheap", but went out and bought a new bike for $1800. He's very athletic, but he's overdoing it- he'll run several miles (he's training for a marathon), then bike for over 3 hours later that day. He eats terribly, and doesn't care. He doesn't drink a lot, but he'll have a drink after a long day of work and a bike ride, and since he doesn't eat actual meals, he's drinking on an empty stomach. He never has more than 1 or 2, but I still worry. He's tired all the time, and is getting injured from the biking/running, but says he just has to "push through it". He's irritable, and snaps at me for no reason, and gets really angry at bad drivers on the road. And I'm not the only one who notices these things.
Could he be depressed? And what can I do to help him? Last night he said that we should spend some time apart (long story, no need to get into that now), but I feel he's just going to isolate himself even more. I really love him, and he loves me too- I know he does. Before the job thing, he was wonderful, and even now, it still shines through, so I know that he's capable of it. Any thoughts? Besides praying, I'm not sure what to do. I know I can't nag him or force him, but I do want to bring up my concerns, because I don't think he realizes what he's doing to himself, and it hurts me so much to see him like this.
My boyfriend is 29 and a 1st year lawyer. His parents divorced when he was 10, and his mom's second husband died of a heart attack in February. My bf wasn't terribly close to the husband as they were married while my bf was in law school, but he is very close to his mom and his two younger brothers. So there's all sorts of family pressure there. His last "real" relationship was 4 years ago- she dumped him, but there were problems with her, of which I know nothing and don't care to, though at this point, it might help. He is a sweet, caring, thoughtful, affectionate guy- great with kids, super-friendly, everyone adores him. He's just a "nice" guy, you know? He has a wonderful sense of humor and a heart like a little kid. I just love him.
In June, he was sworn in to the Virginia Bar, and expected a promotion in his job- he didn't get one. And they told him that he wasn't "qualified" enough to get one. Ever since then, he's been acting weird. He tends to shut down and be quiet and not talk to anyone, including me, even if I'm sitting right next to him- he just stares at the TV. He hasn't been to church in a month, and stopped going to our community group awhile ago- normally, he never misses either. He makes no real effort to be social and spends a lot of evenings in his room looking at bike parts on Ebay. He hates his job, then claims that he doesn't, but he says how he's sick of being a lawyer and wants to do something else- ridiculous things like be a mountain bike instructor. But he doesn't make much of an effort to find a new job. He complains about money because he has law school loans and wants to move back home where it's "cheap", but went out and bought a new bike for $1800. He's very athletic, but he's overdoing it- he'll run several miles (he's training for a marathon), then bike for over 3 hours later that day. He eats terribly, and doesn't care. He doesn't drink a lot, but he'll have a drink after a long day of work and a bike ride, and since he doesn't eat actual meals, he's drinking on an empty stomach. He never has more than 1 or 2, but I still worry. He's tired all the time, and is getting injured from the biking/running, but says he just has to "push through it". He's irritable, and snaps at me for no reason, and gets really angry at bad drivers on the road. And I'm not the only one who notices these things.
Could he be depressed? And what can I do to help him? Last night he said that we should spend some time apart (long story, no need to get into that now), but I feel he's just going to isolate himself even more. I really love him, and he loves me too- I know he does. Before the job thing, he was wonderful, and even now, it still shines through, so I know that he's capable of it. Any thoughts? Besides praying, I'm not sure what to do. I know I can't nag him or force him, but I do want to bring up my concerns, because I don't think he realizes what he's doing to himself, and it hurts me so much to see him like this.
