Corinthians 6:14

[Angeleyes7715]

We aren't supposed to get into a relationship with non believers and this basically eliminates a lot of "courting" options. I've noticed that a lot of other Christians meet at a place of worship.... That really doesn't give me a lot of options since I have not and can not find a place of worship that's actually really about Christ. I usually end up getting bullied or seeing the Pastors abuse the congregation or its just a social club.

I also have a thing about dating someone that goes to the same church building I do. It starts gossip, jealousy, and problems. I have experienced this before. I have also had preachers who had been married that where twice my age! Telling me they had crushed on me, which I said no to obviously.

I do date online also, but the fact that I am Christian keeps men from wanting to talk to me. They tell me that. So do we just stay single and watch our years of fertility go away turning men away because they aren't of the same belief?

 

[CCHIPSS]

We aren't supposed to get into a relationship with non believers and this basically eliminates a lot of "courting" options. I've noticed that a lot of other Christians meet at a place of worship.... That really doesn't give me a lot of options since I have not and can not find a place of worship that's actually really about Christ. I usually end up getting bullied or seeing the Pastors abuse the congregation or its just a social club.

I also have a thing about dating someone that goes to the same church building I do. It starts gossip, jealousy, and problems. I have experienced this before. I have also had preachers who had been married that where twice my age! Telling me they had crushed on me, which I said no to obviously.

I do date online also, but the fact that I am Christian keeps men from wanting to talk to me. They tell me that. So do we just stay single and watch our years of fertility go away turning men away because they aren't of the same belief?

I meet both of my GFs online. So right now I am a strong supporter of online dating. =)

If you are looking for a Christian guy, I think it is important to build a strong Christian theme in your online profile. I used to be scared that the theme would scare all the ladies away. However truth is strong Christian ladies will be attracted to a guy with a strong Christian themed online profile. Because they are looking for that kind of guy. And vice versa.

Of course you also have to talk about your hobbies and interests. And post some good pictures of yourself.

The two sites I used were OKCupid (OKC) and Plenty of Fish (POF). OKC was where I met my current GF. POF was where I met my Ex. I just copy and paste my profile on OKCupid over to POF, so I do not need to write two different profiles. I especially like OKC because I can see how good is my match with another person. And since both sites are free I can use them for as long as I want.

It took me 2-3 years online before I met my first GF. So it does take some time and you have to be patient. And there are pretty of weird people online, so you have to be a bit careful.

As for meeting partners in church, I personally have a very hard time. I am slightly shy and uncomfortable around ladies that I am not familiar with. And the familiar ones are all just friends. And the church setting isn't the most date friendly.

Other Christians share this same issue. So far non of my Christian friends met their partners in their church. Many of them met at parties, friend of a friend that kind of thing. Others met at weddings. So you can try to join parties. However chances are the guy you met won't be a Christian. So I suggest you only join the parties hosted by a Christian.

You can also try joining a club on Meetup.com. There are many hobbies and interest clubs. Many are Christians themed.

I guess the key is to find ways to meet more people, online and offline. This will increase your chances.

As for dating non-Christians, I am against it. It would seem like that will increase your chances in getting a BF, which in itself is true. By dating non-Christians you increase your pool size. However what is your end goal? Is it to just marry anyone? Or is your end goal to form a Christ centered family where God is everything?

Non-believers almost certainly want sex before marriage. Have you made up your mind about that? It is already very hard for a Christian-Christian relationship to stay pure. Dating a non-Christian decrease that chance to pretty much zero.

And when Christians marry non-Christians, chances are that the Christians will slowly lose their faith. Their walk with Christ will grow weak. I know that most Christians would hope to turn their spouse around and that they become a believer. However in most cases it backfires.

What if your non-believing husband one day say "Stop taking our kids to church on Sundays. It is a huge waste of time! They could be playing soccer or practicing piano." What will you say?

I think the church should love you no matter what, even if you do date a non-believer. However I just want you to think about the future before you consider this. =)

 

[dhh712]

We aren't supposed to get into a relationship with non believers and this basically eliminates a lot of "courting" options. I've noticed that a lot of other Christians meet at a place of worship.... That really doesn't give me a lot of options since I have not and can not find a place of worship that's actually really about Christ. I usually end up getting bullied or seeing the Pastors abuse the congregation or its just a social club.

I also have a thing about dating someone that goes to the same church building I do. It starts gossip, jealousy, and problems. I have experienced this before. I have also had preachers who had been married that where twice my age! Telling me they had crushed on me, which I said no to obviously.

I do date online also, but the fact that I am Christian keeps men from wanting to talk to me. They tell me that. So do we just stay single and watch our years of fertility go away turning men away because they aren't of the same belief?

I'd second the online idea. There's definitely Christian men out there who are looking for the same thing as you are even though there's probably not as many as non-believers. This shows you how unfamiliar I am with online dating, but isn't there an online dating site specifically for Christians? The reason I second the online dating thing is that I was in a similar situation as you and I met my fiancé online (not on an online dating site but it was still online; I actually met him on this forum).

My former relationship with a non-believer had dissolved after I was converted and it seemed my situation was hopeless. Not only am I awkward socially, but also am picky about who I would be with and further more belong to a rather small denomination. I thought well, maybe someone might turn up ten years or so down the road (I really wasn't having too many high hopes of even that) but then I'd be way past the time where I'd even want to start thinking about a family or anything like that (which prior to my conversion I was steadfastly against). Well, God put someone in my life about a month after moving from the western part of the country (where I had felt my life was on hold because I did not want to live there all my life).

It seems that if God wants someone in your life he'll put them there. I would keep praying about it and trust that God will bring it about at the appointed time (based on my experience too, I think God wants to instruct his children in patience--I had thought after meeting my fiancé so quickly that one, two, three we'd be married and off to build our life together like we'd always wanted. But no. I think God did this to demonstrate his Sovereignty because I was so convinced I'd be alone, but this whole thing has been one long exercise in patience, just of a different kind than I and probably both of us had expected. But isn't that how God often works? We think one thing, but he's got something entirely different in the works that we don't usually expect).

I also second the idea of not dating non-Christians. The only way a Christian and non-Christian marriage is encouraged is if both were non-believers prior to the marriage and one of them was converted. Which was almost what happened to me. But marriage is to be Christ-centered and there is no way that can happen with a non-believer. It is definitely depressing to think about being alone all your life, but marriage to a non-believer would be putting your own (possible) happiness before your relationship with God; while the marriage may seem fulfilling at times, it ultimately will not be for someone who has Christ at the center of their lives. The purpose of marriage for the those of the world is happiness and companionship; for Christians the purpose of marriage is to do the will of God and become sanctified by that (happiness and companionship would be great too and often do result from marriage, but those don't come first).