Coping :with leaving a cult

hannabanana · Aug 22, 2009

No phones , at least to my knowledge. The leaders of the community may have had access to phones, but I never did. As for visiting, yes I could. I know at this moment I am not strong enough to visit right now. I highly doubt they would physically harm me in anyway if I did visit, but what you said about guilt trips to get me back probably would occur. I could take my Uncle and Gramps, but I doubt my Grams could handle it. She has not seen or had contact with her daughter(my mom) for over 20 years now. I still wouldn't though because it would be way too hard for me right now. If I went to visit now. I would almost 100% stay.

BlessEwe · Aug 22, 2009

MOD HAT ON
Thread closed for clean up

BlessEwe · Aug 22, 2009

Thread cleaned up, and Opened

Remember this is a support group for recovery, lets stay on topic of the OPs original request for support. Thank you

MariaRegina · Aug 22, 2009

hannabanana said:
No, I left shortly after I turned 18.

Thank You for the books to look into. Yes, it was controlling in someways, but also comforting as well. I love that my grandparents have taken me in and they have giving me a lot of insight on where there daughter(my mom) and son in law(my dad) got involved with the group before I was born. They are being protective of me because technically I have only been in the real world for just over 1 year now and I appreciate that. Yes I do miss my friends that I grew up with and the love we shared for one another and I miss my Mom & Dad so very much. My grandparents are of the Catholic Faith, but don't seem to attend services regularly.

Maybe you can visit the Catholic Church with your grandparents. There is a strong spirit of family in the Catholic Church.

As a child, I was Catholic. We had Friday night spaghetti dinner (without the meat balls). The Italians would cook, the teens would serve the dinner, while the Irish would dance the Irish jig and the Polish would do the polka. It was so much fun. I really felt at home there.

brinny · Aug 22, 2009

hannabanana said:
I am not aware of an e-mail address and I could write a letter, but I doubt it would get into the hands I would want it to.

I really couldn't help you there. All I can tell you is that there are a lot of Twelve Tribes communities throughout the world. Also if you came in as a visitor you would be a guest of the community. Our homes were always open. When you actually become a member is when the work would start and if you would rebel they would probably catch on that you are not there for the right intentions. Also to become a member you must give up all your possession and if you are not willing to do that then they will have you as a visitor, but not a member. I highly doubt that one person could make an impact of shutting down since there have been actually raids that have not shut the community down.

Thank You so much, Brinny.

You are most welcome, dear heart, and precious sister in Christ, and daughter of the Most High God. Our Abba is a good Father, and He is all about freedom from chains and those things that bind us. He uses the term "wings" a lot. There is a reason for that. he is the epitome of freedoom and breaking chains. He rejoices over us with singing, and He is the best-est Abba, Who teaches us to become the daughters and sons of the Most High God that we were intended to be since before the fondation of the world. Oh yes, He loves us, and He wants to do a work in our hearts, minds, and spirits that only He can do, and in His wisdom, that is why He commands us to put Him first. When we do, everything else falls into place.

Remind me to post here, or PM you the piece i wrote on forgiving my mother. Abba, or Father made it possible. Only He could've done this.

He loves you and He has a future and a hope for you that will change the course of your known reality. Put your hand in HIs, trust Him, follow Him, and remember Who He is.

This verse sooooooooo fits:

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:11-12

(((((hug)))))))

hannabanana · Aug 22, 2009

MariaRegina said:
Maybe you can visit the Catholic Church with your grandparents. There is a strong spirit of family in the Catholic Church.

As a child, I was Catholic. We had Friday night spaghetti dinner (without the meat balls). The Italians would cook, the teens would serve the dinner, while the Irish would dance the Irish jig and the Polish would do the polka. It was so much fun. I really felt at home there.

I have thought about that and at some point I most likely will. Thank You. That spaghetti dinner sounds like fun.

brinny said:
You are most welcome, dear heart, and precious sister in Christ, and daughter of the Most High God. Our Abba is a good Father, and He is all about freedom from chains and those things that bind us. He uses the term "wings" a lot. There is a reason for that. he is the epitome of freedoom and breaking chains. He rejoices over us with singing, and He is the best-est Abba, Who teaches us to become the daughters and sons of the Most High God that we were intended to be since before the fondation of the world. Oh yes, He loves us, and He wants to do a work in our hearts, minds, and spirits that only He can do, and in His wisdom, that is why He commands us to put Him first. When we do, everything else falls into place.

Remind me to post here, or PM you the piece i wrote on forgiving my mother. Abba, or Father made it possible. Only He could've done this.

He loves you and He has a future and a hope for you that will change the course of your known reality. Put your hand in HIs, trust Him, follow Him, and remember Who He is.

This verse sooooooooo fits:

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:11-12

(((((hug)))))))

Thank You again my friend for those uplifting words. I truly appreciate it.

Johnnz · Aug 26, 2009

It will not be a straight line for you. You may often feel like going back and you will need to resist that. Paul had to take Peter to task because he was still having some difficulty leaving his Jewish background behind, even though God had spoken to him in a vision. So, you will be in very good company!

Bless you
John

hannabanana · Sep 12, 2009

Johnnz said:
It will not be a straight line for you. You may often feel like going back and you will need to resist that. Paul had to take Peter to task because he was still having some difficulty leaving his Jewish background behind, even though God had spoken to him in a vision. So, you will be in very good company!

Bless you
John

It still continues to be tough for me everyday. I think about going back everyday.

Johnnz · Sep 12, 2009

It will be as you make and participate in a great life outside the community that the tug will become less and less. It's like a kind of withdrawal,painful and hard to live with at first, but gradually your life comes into a new focus.

Bless you
John
NZ

MariaRegina · Sep 12, 2009

hannabanana said:
It still continues to be tough for me everyday. I think about going back everyday.

You must not think about going back. Resist the urge.

Keep your eyes upon Jesus. Come over to OBOB and ask them to help you. There are some wonderful members there. Many, like you, come from non-Catholic backgrounds. Some were in cults too.

Please visit that Catholic Church with your grandparents. It will help you and them. They need you to coax them back into the Church. Ask the priest there for prayers to strengthen you for the journey.

MariaRegina · Sep 12, 2009

Here is a video to bring you cheer:

YouTube - Amazing Grace

BlackSabb · Sep 15, 2009

hannabanana said:
I was born into The Twelve Tribes community which after I left I have really come to know as a cult. I left shortly after I turned 18 leaving all of my friends that I grew up with in the community and also my parents. Even though I know that some of the practices that went on in the community are not right and some of the ways of living were not right I still struggle everyday. First, leaving my parents there is really tugging on my heart. I feel like I have disappointed them in so many ways. I still love them so much. Also since being out from the Twelve Tribe community I have been living with my grandparents who have really been guarding me closely because well up to a year and a few months ago I have never experience much in the world. This has left me with hardly any friends.

Even though I doubt I will ever return to the community I still feel convicted everyday of leaving. It was my entire life for 18 years. All I ask for is prayer that God will lead me in the right direct and give me wisdom for what is in store for me in the future.

Thank You, Hanna

Hey, I feel for you. I remember watching a program (Australia) about the Twelve Tribes cult and it was pretty awful all the things that went on. Apparently, one particular commune was really brutal to children with physical punishment.

I know what it's like to leave something with such a strong hold on you as I've been in the same situation. I'm still figuring things out, but know this. That many people feel for you and care. Feel free to pm if you wish, otherwise wishing you the best in your recovery.

AS4JC91 · Sep 15, 2009

Hi sister. I just want to reassure you that you have done the right thing and do not feel condemned.
I know a couple here in Australia who got out of a similar cult and they have helped others who have. One gem they have said is this; after giving advise they would always turn around and say "But do not feel we are telling you what to do. Everything we say is only to help you decide for yourself. It's really between you and God what you do from now on."
Same for you dear one. You can follow or disregard the advise but do not feel condemned either way. Just make sure you check everything with God before you follow through with ANYTHING.

myanchor · Sep 25, 2009

Don't know anything about that cult. But the one principle that has stood me in the best stead. Do as Ronald Reagan said, 'Trust, but verify' By that I mean get a concordance and when folks tell you something is in the bible or it is a new doctrine you are hearing, use the concordance to look up the verse they quote. Look at the verses that are around it. Is this poetical or literal, figurative or literal. Are there other verses saying the same thing. Pray about it. Let the Holy Spirit in you tell you yay or nay. If it is wrong, don't accept it, and throw it away.

I once had a guy that I respected start using the royal we, and when I asked him about it he said it to be less arrogant in the use of I. I puzzled over that. He also said we christians shouldn't eat pork, because God told the Jews not to. So, since Peter was told to arise, kill and eat unclean animals in his vision, God was wrong? And I as a Gentile am to obey the Law given through Moses to the Jews? Nuh-uh. This guy was a judaizer and I separated myself from him after that.

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