Controlling anger Gods way?

[johnjs37]

Hey guys,

I am new to this site my name is John so hello to everyone. I have been around christianity all my life. My dad has been all over preaching the word my mother not so much. It is something I believe in but in my 25 years of age it took me until 23 years old to really start living for God. I find it hard at times I sin like everyone else, but it still feels so hard for me. I have a girlfriend she is catholic she goes to church as do I but I got to a born again christian church. She goes to catholic church.

My main reason for this post is I have always had anger issues and I am trying to learn how to control it as best as I can. And I pray and I ask God to help me, but sometimes I get so angry its like I can't even help it I explode and I hate it. Just recently me and my girlfriend were talking on the phone I asked her a question she didnt like and she got all defensive and tryed to turn it on me procceeded to hang up on me and I exploded. I tryed so hard to control it, but I just came over me and I was just enraged. It took everything in my power to punch a hole through my wall. I am embarressed to say this, but I need help. I don't like getting that angry because then I don't think straight and its all downhill from there. Makes everything 100 times worse. I guess what I am asking what can i do to control this? I am the only person that makes me angry in the end and I am the only person that can learn how to control it.I guess I am just reaching out for some tips and what to do to control this. I know it is not going to change over night, but I want to take the step in the right direction to let it go and handle it like a christian man.

If someone could give me some insight on how to learn to control this that would help so much. I don't want to live my life like this anymore ane be angry. I understand it is ok to get upset. But I go 0 to 60 in ledd then a second and I am like different person.

Thanks everyone,


John

 

[1Brokenheart]

Praying to God will help you, Matthew 7.7 says to ask.

Also try to find a constructive outlet for your anger, for example try lifting weights instead of breaking things or get a punching bag or go running.

Also listening to classical music or worship music may help you calm down, try to find constructive outlets like painting or singing. If you can find better ways to express yourself other than being led by rage you can handle your anger in a more godly way.

Right when you are about to get angry you need to try to pray and just calm down, try to count to 10 or take deep breathes and you can try using a stress ball but if you are seriously enraged you should probably be lifting weights. I have seen lot of angry men in the military and lifting weights helps them calm down it helps female too.

Genesis 4.7 "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

You have to learn how to master your emotions and praying to Jesus will help you

 

[Amber Bird]

I think you'll find it a bit of a quandary to ask how to control your mortal anger God's way.
The Bible relates a great many things that God did to the world because he was angry.

Perhaps however, this verse will assist you. God Bless.


Ephesians 4:25-27
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

 

[Forge3]

Do you fight with yourself to control it when it arises? Do you feel guilty for having experienced the anger?

Anger is not a sin in itself as I understand. It is simply one of our many human emotions. I believe Jesus Himself felt anger being fully human and fully God. Some use the scriptural reference of Him turning over the money changers tables to underscore this. Although it also relates to His zeal for His Father's temple. It is not a weakness or failing if we get mad. I would underscore to look at what we do with this emotion more than feeling it as Amber Bird mentioned "In your anger do not sin".

So by all means I hope you do not feel guilty about having this human emotion or consider it bad in and of itself. That perspective is self-defeating. Also as BrokenHeart mentioned athletic activity like weight training can help burn off stress. And if we are bottling up our frustrations of the passing days and not employing good stress management strategies we can explode like a fire cracker. Unresolved frustrations simply build up in us and will find a way out.

As mentioned breathing techniques may help and this is something you may practice over time until it becomes second nature to you to use this tool. And it does not hurt to examine the way our mind works and our thought processes. For instance if I am inclined to take most things personally and have a pessimistic outlook on life I will likely heap up unneccessary and unwanted suffering upon myself. This can eventually lead to an outburst and something seemingly small let alone large.

If you want more elaborating on this I will sub and check in with you. I had anger issues for many years and awhile back earned an anger management instructors certificate. Mind you that was about 8 years ago and I do not teach. Yet I hope I may help you with the basics if you want. And that this is helpful to you.


Mark

 

[motherprayer]

Pray! Pray, pray, pray. My husband has dealt with anger issues all his life, and only recently has he learned to simply let go of it and allow God to deal with him.

Always remember, the devil wants you to feel justified in your reaction, but God wants you to respond in the right way.

Praying for you!

 

[Maxine R]

Breathing exercise might help. Next time when you are angry, try taking a slow, deep breath. If you really cannot control yourself, leave the conversation for next time before saying something that you will regret later.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hello there,

First I like to congratulate you, that you realize this has gotten out of control and that you need help. This is one of the most important parts of change, is humility.

As for anger getting out of control. This is one possibility.

From a counselor's perspective, I would look to your history, things that occurred in your life that may have caused you to either suppress anger or where people have hurt you in the past. Sometimes things happen in our lives that create "strong holds" in our hearts, and things other people do can bring out the hurt side of us. Like instead of seeing your girlfriend, you see someone else that you are taking out your anger on. In many cases, a person doesn't even know they have this or what they been doing.

From the Word of God I look to Galatians 5:16-23, Living by the Spirit’s Power. Paul gives us great insight of the inner battle within our spirit and soul. He talks about how our sinful nature and the Holy Spirit literally clash inside us.

Paul also makes a contrast of a person lead by the sinful nature and by the Holy Spirit. One of the fruit of the sinful nature in NKJV is "Outbursts of wrath", which I believe you are struggling with. Now when you are lead by the Holy Spirit, it produces "Long suffering", "gentleness, self-control.".

What am I getting at? In short, the Lord wants to teach you about the anger in your heart, and he wants to teach you how to surrender it to Him. In exchange, by the power of the Holy Spirit you will have more patience with people and over time more self control. Believe me the Devil will play on your anger any chance he can get. The Lord will forgive you and continue to guide you out of this anger problem.

This will be a process, it will take lot time and prayer and study. If you hold on and take it one day at a time. The Lord will get you there.