Considering Visiting a LCMS

[katautumn]

Hey, everyone. Full disclosure, I consider myself a "Christian seeker". I've wavered back and forth many times in my adult years. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but accepted Christ and was baptized by immersion in a Southern Baptist Church at the age of 13. I left the SBC fully at the age of 22, not long after my son was born. I've dabbled in multiple occult religions, Agnosticism, Buddhism, and nothing at all since then.

When I was in kindergarten my parents scraped pennies together to send me to a wonderful private school called Faith Lutheran (affiliated with the LCMS). It was exceptionally difficult to get in, because obviously children of church attendees get first choice and the spots are very limited. In an effort to make my education more well-rounded, my parents started attending the membership classes, but dropped out after my father became angry over the compulsory tithing. Not long after that, we moved relatively far away and I was placed in public school at the end of second grade, but I still reflect fondly on my time being educated at Faith Lutheran.

I feel a calling to visit a LCMS church, but I have my concerns. First of all, I'd be the only person attending. My husband is Agnostic and my parents are not interested in the Lutheran church. Second, my predominant church exposure has been either the SBC or your non-denominational, highly charged laser-light show/rock and roll concert setting. I'm not used to the very reverent, calm church setting. I've heard that Lutheran churches tend to feel a bit "cold" if you're a visitor. I'm used to the whole, "heyyyyyy darlin'! C'mer 'n gimme a huggggg!" welcome in churches, so my hope would be I wouldn't mistake reverence for a stuck-up congregation.

Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

 

[alexnbethmom]

i've only been a member of the LCMS for 3 years, and so i don't really have a lot of experience, going to a lot of different Lutheran churches. i had also heard (before becoming Lutheran) that Lutheran churches were cold, and that the people were stand-offish. for whatever it's worth, i have not found this at all. now that's not to say that there aren't some that are exactly that way - but when i started going to my home church, the people there were extremely friendly and welcoming.....when i go to my friend's church, and they don't know me from Adam, they are very friendly to me.....and the church i visited in California over Christmas, i had never stepped foot in that church EVER, and i had people who had NO clue who i was hugging me and welcoming me....

there are some LCMS churches who have a more contemporary, relaxed setting, with a praise band and what have you.....honestly, i don't think you'll find many LCMS people posting on this forum who like or approve of that kind of worship. most of us prefer the very reverent, calm, traditional Liturgy - and in this setting, i guess, to someone who had never been to one of these services, it might seem "cold". it's far from cold - we take worshipping the Lord very seriously, and it's a very beautiful thing to be a part of....

i pray that you will be still and listen to God, and go where He leads you.....i pray that you find a biblically sound church, that teaches that the Holy Triune God is THE only Way, Truth, and Life....if you have any questions, please ask - we'll all be happy to help you any way we can, and if we can't, you can always go to www.lcms.org they have a FANTASTIC FAQ sheet, with answers for just about ANY question you might have....

and welcome to TCL!!! lots of nice people here....

 

[DaRev]

Hey, everyone. Full disclosure, I consider myself a "Christian seeker". I've wavered back and forth many times in my adult years. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but accepted Christ and was baptized by immersion in a Southern Baptist Church at the age of 13. I left the SBC fully at the age of 22, not long after my son was born. I've dabbled in multiple occult religions, Agnosticism, Buddhism, and nothing at all since then.

When I was in kindergarten my parents scraped pennies together to send me to a wonderful private school called Faith Lutheran (affiliated with the LCMS). It was exceptionally difficult to get in, because obviously children of church attendees get first choice and the spots are very limited. In an effort to make my education more well-rounded, my parents started attending the membership classes, but dropped out after my father became angry over the compulsory tithing. Not long after that, we moved relatively far away and I was placed in public school at the end of second grade, but I still reflect fondly on my time being educated at Faith Lutheran.

I feel a calling to visit a LCMS church, but I have my concerns. First of all, I'd be the only person attending. My husband is Agnostic and my parents are not interested in the Lutheran church. Second, my predominant church exposure has been either the SBC or your non-denominational, highly charged laser-light show/rock and roll concert setting. I'm not used to the very reverent, calm church setting. I've heard that Lutheran churches tend to feel a bit "cold" if you're a visitor. I'm used to the whole, "heyyyyyy darlin'! C'mer 'n gimme a huggggg!" welcome in churches, so my hope would be I wouldn't mistake reverence for a stuck-up congregation.

Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

One thing I would mention is that the LCMS does not teach compulsory tithing. Apparently the pastor of that particular congregation was pushing that, but it most certainly is not a teaching or practice of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.

2 Cor. 9:7 (ESV)
Each one must give as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

 

[Studeclunker]

Compulsory Tithing reminds me of the piety movement that was popular when I was little. Thankfully, most of the Lutheran churches grew out of that.

Yeah, I raised four children in the Lutheran church. We were in one of the four parts that became the ELCA. Joining the church of the holy Acronym wasn't high on our list, however when the merger started we weren't really given a choice. But I degress...

My mother used to say Lutherans were cold. I would rather say, reserved. One isn't going to find the bouncing off the walls enthusiasm like the Pentecostals, nor the hard-nosed fire and brimstone of the Baptists. Although my daughter does describe Lutherans as, 'The Church of the Frozen Chosen.' But what can one expect of a Pentecostal? She just likes things a bit more exciting. I keep telling her that if I want aerobics, I'll go to the gym. But there I go degressing again...

I'm just degressed this morning.

Revrence, respect for the King, calm meditation, are what I would describe much of the Lutheran service to be like. Entertainment is not the focus of our worship. Though it can be entertaining from time to time, Worship is more serious to a Lutheran. Many of the other denominations have wandered off into Me-ship in the past few years. Sadly, the LCMS was seduced by this as well. A few congregations embraced the new movement, thankfully most did not.

If you are lucky to have several LCMS congregations close enough to your home, you will likely find each to be widely different. Thus, it shouldn't be too very difficult to find a congregation to suit your tastes.

Interesting concept... congregational tasting instead of wine.

Taste and see that the Lord is good... Blessed are they who take refuge in him!

 

[Aibrean]

People express welcome in different ways. If I walked in a church and people started hugging me it would make me never want to go back. It's too forward for me. If someone says "hi" and wonders who I am and thanks me for visiting I consider that warm. As long as they notice and address you. I think part of the more solemn attitude (before a service) is because we don't treat the service as a happy-clappy feel-good way to make ourselves feel better. There is reverence and awe. That said...people are most welcoming and gracious after the service and at times when there are church-wide activities (such as a potluck).

 

[katautumn]

This is all great information, thus far. Thank you to everyone who has responded with words of advice and encouragement. One thing I am curious about, as it's been a long time since I've attended a liturgy (I think I'm using the correct terminology here?) - how are prayer and confession dealt with in the LCMS? I was so young when I attended Faith Lutheran that I don't remember anything about confession. Are Lutherans able to ask God's forgiveness in the privacy of their own homes, or is it similar to Catholicism - only a reverend is qualified to extend God's absolution in the proper confessional setting? Also, I've heard of people using specific prayers and praying the rosary (minus the references to Mary and the Saints), but are Lutherans encouraged to pray in private as if they're having a casual conversation with God?

Basically, what I'm wondering is outside of the service, are seeking repentance and casual prayer encouraged or discouraged?

 

[alexnbethmom]

This is all great information, thus far. Thank you to everyone who has responded with words of advice and encouragement. One thing I am curious about, as it's been a long time since I've attended a liturgy (I think I'm using the correct terminology here?) - how are prayer and confession dealt with in the LCMS? I was so young when I attended Faith Lutheran that I don't remember anything about confession. Are Lutherans able to ask God's forgiveness in the privacy of their own homes, or is it similar to Catholicism - only a reverend is qualified to extend God's absolution in the proper confessional setting? Also, I've heard of people using specific prayers and praying the rosary (minus the references to Mary and the Saints), but are Lutherans encouraged to pray in private as if they're having a casual conversation with God?

Basically, what I'm wondering is outside of the service, are seeking repentance and casual prayer encouraged or discouraged?

we do confession, very first thing, in our services - the pastor grants us absolution, as a called and ordained servant of Christ....but we ABSOLUTELY can ask for forgiveness (and we should, daily) in the privacy of our home, or anywhere, and we should pray, we are encouraged to pray, every day, not just in the confines of the church building.

and i've never heard of a Lutheran using rosary beads - but a lot of Lutherans do cross themselves like Catholics do.

 

[Aibrean]

We now have Thursday services like once a month where confession with a pastor in private can be done, but generally it's private.

On Sunday the confession/absolution is done publicly as a congregation through the liturgy (you can google Divine Service Setting Three and find an example).

Always remember, the pastor doesn't save sins. God does. The pastor is just the mouth, not the vessel

 

[DaRev]

Also, I've heard of people using specific prayers and praying the rosary (minus the references to Mary and the Saints), but are Lutherans encouraged to pray in private as if they're having a casual conversation with God?

There is a "Lutheran Rosary" but it's use is quite rare. One can and is encouraged to pray whenever and wherever they are. As part of the "priesthood of believers" we all have clear access to God.

 

[jonathan1971]

Have you read The Small Catechism - Book of Concord. It's a pretty good summary of lutheran doctrine. It's been used to catichise(sp) the membership for hundreds of years.

have a good one.

 

[Studeclunker]

People express welcome in different ways. If I walked in a church and people started hugging me it would make me never want to go back. It's too forward for me...

LMAO, how very Lutheran of you!

 

[Aibrean]

Stude...I've assimilated well

 

[latebloomer]

Lutherans tend to be hand-shakers, not huggers.

 

[MarkRohfrietsch]

I grew up in a rural Parish, and have visited many congregations both rural and urban. Country/farm people are much more reserved that city people; it's not that they are cold, but a bit shy, (I go to a city parish now).

Regardless, be a bit out going, introduce yourself to anyone. They may have "greeters" at the door, and ushers in Church. Let them know that you are a visitor, and are not familiar with the service, I sure that they will help you in any way that they can.

May your visit be a blessing to you!

 

[JTornado1]

The members in my church greet visitors by shaking hands, not hugging them.

 

[LilLamb219]

There is no hugging at my church either...and I greatly prefer it that way! Not that I don't love my church family, but I prefer to not have that type of intimate contact.

 

[filosofer]

Well, I have been in raucous Lutheran churches in which people actually smiled as loudly as they could.

 

[katautumn]

Everyone has been so helpful in this thread! I haven't had the chance to visit the LCMS church yet, as we're a one-vehicle family and my husband has had to work mandatory over-time every weekend lately. I did think of one more question, though, before I visit. I feel lead to cover my hair in worship. Will I be looked at super funny if I wear a discreet kerchief on my head during the service? Are hats/veils/scarves worn by some Lutheran women during service, or is that frowned upon/considered ridiculous?

 

[filosofer]

Howdy. Normally women do not wear head coverings in worship. However, at my last congregation, one women insisted on a head covering (in her case a hat), and even made some of her own hats. She was comfortable with it, and the people didn’t think twice about. If you have a major concern about it, call the church and ask to speak to the pastor. Most if not all would be very gracious in their response to you.

 

[Bryne]

A few years ago, my husband and I attended a Lutheran seminar for our region...with classes and such. There was an Egyptian couple there...converts from the Coptic church. We were sitting at a table together in one class, and when the instructor opened with prayer, the lady covered her head with the scarf that she was wearing...she simply pulled it up from around her neck. She placed it down again when the prayer was over. I found it to be a beautiful gesture.

Personally, I wouldn't think it silly or frown upon it at all.