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horseluva42792

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There is a girl who goes to school with me and lives next to me. We were childhood friends until she threatened me in an e-mail and we haven't talked to each other since. So the problem is that yesterday her dad was put in jail because he beat her (This has been confirmed by the police) and I feel really bad for her. I want to say how sorry I am for her but on the other hand I really don't like her. What should I do?
 

NoddaProbBob

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I think that you should should tell her sorry about those things, but you also don't have to be her best friend. God is love, and as hard as it is to do the right thing in these situations, God wants us to do that for people.
 
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UnitynLove

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I know your flesh is saying, "Don't talk to this girl because she deserves it, why should I be nice to her she was not nice to me," but let me tell you this is a chance for more blessings on you. You now have to opportunity to show just what God's agape love is. Forgiving despite of faults, comforting those who hurt you, and blessing them in their time of need just like Jesus said. Don't miss this opportunity, God will reward you for it.

No matter how long you may live, you'll never stop learning. Every minute of every day brings us new opportunities to learn something we've never known before. As long as we're open to receive, God will continue to teach us every day.

I'm still learning, and I know I always will be. What God teaches me every day about love continues to change my life. I have come to the place in my life where I can honestly say, "Lord, eliminate everything in my life that is holding me back. Please, Lord, take away anything that is keeping me from walking in love and finding true fulfillment in my life." In other words, "Lord, reduce me to love (bring me to a state or condition of walking in love completely)!"

One of the most important facets I've learned about love is unselfishness, which is characterized in the Bible as the willingness to sacrifice one's own wishes for those of others. I've learned that true love will always adapt and adjust to the needs and desires of other people.

It's impossible for people who have truly been reduced to love to be selfish. God has taught them how to be totally adaptable and adjustable to others. Selfish people, on the other hand, have hard hearts. It's very difficult for selfish people to learn anything
—especially if it involves self-sacrifice. They expect everyone else to adjust to them and their needs. They simply don't know how to adjust to others without becoming angry or upset.

Learning to adapt and adjust myself to the needs and desires of others was very difficult for me. To be honest, I just wanted my way, and I got upset when I didn't get it. I was selfish! I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it! I couldn't stand having to wait on someone else, or bending my own wishes to accommodate someone else's timetable.

But God began to soften my heart, and gradually, I learned to see the needs of others. Then God gave me compassion—the heartfelt desire to meet the needs of others first, before my own.

Slowly, I became committed to walking in love. I learned to adapt my own needs and desires in order to help meet the needs of others. I learned how to show love in different ways to different people. Did you know that not all people need the same thing from us? One of our children, for example, may need more of our personal time than the others. One of our friends may need more encouragement on a regular basis than another.

For example, my aunt needs me, my parents need me, my brother needs me, my husband needs me, each of my four children needs me, my five grandchildren need me, my employees need me, my friends need me
—and they all need me in different ways.

Do I ever feel too needed? Of course! All of us feel overwhelmed from time to time. But I remind myself that God gives me grace for whatever He places in my life, and I'm fortunate to be loved and needed by so many.

Do I ever get weary of always trying to be available to meet the needs of others? Yes! But I remind myself of all the years I lived in selfishness and how unhappy I was. Now I'm just making up for lost time! When I consider this, it doesn't take long for me to adjust my attitude. After all, just telling people "I love you" is not enough. We need to go beyond the words and actually do something to help meet their needs.

My husband, Dave, loves to play golf, so I try to make sure our schedule gives him opportunities to play. But there was a time when it angered me for him to play golf. I was miserable because I had not learned to adjust to his needs or desires. I wanted him to make all the adjustments.

I never acknowledged the many ways in which Dave adjusted to my needs. I never saw what he did
—only what he didn't do...and it was ruining our relationship. I'm glad now that I have learned to adapt and adjust. It was a little hard on me for a while, but it saved our marriage.

Once you've been reduced to love, you'll have no trouble establishing and maintaining good, healthy relationships with others. Your primary goal in life will be to put the wishes of others before your own. You will learn that true love is all about sacrifice. Selfishness will be a thing of the past.
 
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artjack

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horseluva42792 said:
There is a girl who goes to school with me and lives next to me. We were childhood friends until she threatened me in an e-mail and we haven't talked to each other since. So the problem is that yesterday her dad was put in jail because he beat her (This has been confirmed by the police) and I feel really bad for her. I want to say how sorry I am for her but on the other hand I really don't like her. What should I do?

just repent & help her if she asks you. love yourself first.
 
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horseluva42792

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Thanks for all of the advice!!! Well here's a bit of an update: I got to school and saw her alone crying, her eye was swollen and she was limping. I went up to her and gave her a hug and told her how sorry I was. Then, she did an unexpected thing: She apologized for threatening me. I prayed with her and we've been good friends ever since. We talk a lot and I help her with her feelings and pray for her and with her all of the time!!
 
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qh93536

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horseluva42792 said:
There is a girl who goes to school with me and lives next to me. We were childhood friends until she threatened me in an e-mail and we haven't talked to each other since. So the problem is that yesterday her dad was put in jail because he beat her (This has been confirmed by the police) and I feel really bad for her. I want to say how sorry I am for her but on the other hand I really don't like her. What should I do?

Forgive her, love her and be kind to her. She needs a friend, and so do you. Perhaps she was mean to you as a result of things she was going through at home. She really needs you now. Show her your true christian spirit.
 
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Daysoni

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horeluva, I don't think that it was her that you didn't like. It was probablly her action towards you. God heals us and brings us to each other for reasons we can not always see. Maybe he brought you to back together to help her heal. Just keep praying for her and your relationship God will guide you.
 
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CordieLaLa

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horseluva42792 said:
Thanks for all of the advice!!! Well here's a bit of an update: I got to school and saw her alone crying, her eye was swollen and she was limping. I went up to her and gave her a hug and told her how sorry I was. Then, she did an unexpected thing: She apologized for threatening me. I prayed with her and we've been good friends ever since. We talk a lot and I help her with her feelings and pray for her and with her all of the time!!

Horseluva that is so inspirational. Sometimes I think of someone who has wronged me so badly and then I tell myself "no, i dont hate that person. I hate the action they did."

It really does pay to be the better person, the person with God in their heart, to make the first move by doing the Christian thing. Thank you for sharing that. You have inspired me with a problem I've been having too. :thumbsup:
 
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artjack

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qh93536 said:
"Love yourself first"??? That is NOT the christian spirit, and does not please God. That is nothing but self- centered arrogance.

You must learn to love yourself before you can love others, that christian, dont do on to others what you would not like your self, :thumbsup:
 
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cruztacean

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Horseluva: First of all, I love that word "confuzzled." I think I'm gonna adopt it. :D

Second, I'm glad things turned out so nicely. That was a great thing you did. I'm not sure I could have done as well, and I'm (mumble mumble) years older than you are.

Now let me try to be a peacemaker.

artjack/qh: (whistle) Hooooooold on there, partners. You could be saying the same thing from different angles. Yes, qh, I'm annoyed by such things as that song "Loving yourself is the greatest love of all." Uh-uh. The greatest love of all is, "For God so loved the world...." That said, I don't think artjack meant we should love ourselves before God, or that we should be self-centered. I can't say any more than that, about where you're coming from, without being one of you, but I hope you'll make yourselves a llittle clearer... I don't mean to get into your business, I just don't want you to fight. If two 13-year-old girls can pray together and make up, I'm sure you two can also.
 
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