Yesterday, I spent some time browsing through a few of the threads here about sexual abuse and I just started bawling and reliving some of my own personal experiences and the emotions that came up from inside me. I think these feelings are always there and part of my subconscience. I'm wondering, how do you know when you've worked through and dealt with the events that have happened? Clearly, it doesn't look like I have considering how upset I got yesterday and the fact that this is probably the underlying cause to a lot of my low self-esteem and some other insecurities I have. But sometimes I wonder if it would even do any good thinking about it. It just makes me so depressed and upset that I generally try to avoid ever thinking about it. Isn't that better than forcing myself to relive it all and try to process it? I don't even know what steps to take to cope with it and process it in a healthy way. Are there any good books out there on this subject? I really don't want to go to counseling because it could have some negative ramifications with my work and future plans. So, I don't know what to do.
