I have been dating a wonderful guy for almost 3 years now and yes we have weathered some difficult times with parents and long-distance. Well, he really wanted to go into the army reserves so I said I would support his decision. He has been gone a month and the second letter I recieved from was very, very negitive. It was like someone I didn't know and he claimed that while being at basic a serious relationship was too stressful for him to handle and he wants a break. He also said he wants to work on our problems when he comes back. I was totally not expecting this because right before he left he asked me to marry him. I am so confused and hurt by his actions. I don't know what to think about him- any advice?
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Confused and hurt
- Thread starter dreamyluv7
- Start date
What do you mean it turns people into heartless people? I guess I don't know exactly what you mean?
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Pope Gonzo
Well-Known Member
They're turning him into a flat-bellied, steely-eyed killer. It's a rough time. Pray for him and support him as best you can.
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mathias1979
Resident Meteorologist
Any big life change is going to add a lot of stress to a relationship if the two people can't really appropriately share it with each other. We all know how much college can change a person, and I can imagine going into the Army yeilds even bigger changes in a person. It's something that can be worked through, but you've got to accept that he probably has changed some, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It just means you'll need to take some time to get and know him again when he gets back. I imagine it is probably a scary process, but if you truly love each other, you've got to be willing to allow and accept these changes.
-Matt
-Matt
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Warrior Poet
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His honesty and integrity are at stake. No easy task for any guy to face. IMO this is killing him and in turn killing you. He is allowing others to mold him, thats a dangerous feat and takes much trust. He however in the eyes of those molding is another number another face.....Agreeing with Mathias you will need to get to know him all over again... I will put my money where my mouth is and say if you hang around for "suppport" You are who he "runs" home too.
Hang in there baby girl.
Warrior Poet
Hang in there baby girl.
Warrior Poet
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Living4Him03
Just wanna dance with you
I agree with everyone else...he is going through something very stressful (my guy was in officer candidate school training or whatever they call it not so long ago) and they are changing the way he thinks about everything. About his whole life, past, present, and future. So, he's got a lot of thoughts running through his head. He definitely needs your support, prayers, and encouragement. Let him know you are praying for him and keep a positive attitude. If he feels he needs a break right now, give it to him. Keep writing him and let him know you are always there for him. If he really loves you and wants to marry you and God means for it to happen, then it will happen when the time is right. God bless you, sweetie.
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