Confused about a couple I know

[Briseis]

So, I know this couple, and they broke up because the sexual temptation was too strong. I am not really close to them, but the explanation I was given was that the temptation was too strong. They do not intend to get back together once they are done school and able to get married. And they didnt say that they didnt see the relationship lasting forever anyway so they might as well end it. They only gave the temptation as an explanation, and I didnt want to pry. I dont understand. Do you see this as a valid reason? Isnt it a good thing to be attracted to each other? Just pray to be able to withhold until you are able to get married.

 

[wpiman2]

Just being lustful is not the basis of a good relationship.

 

[Briseis]

Yes, but they didnt say they broke up because they werent right fo r each other, butbecause temptation was too strong. I know it is none of my business what they do, I am just confused.

 

[Blank123]

well if they said they knew it wouldn't last that sounds to me like they knew they weren't right for each other. Its entirely possible the attraction was all that held them together.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

I'm not really sure why they have to give people any reason for their break up. I'm not trying to be rude, but I just don't see how that is anyone's business.

 

[Windmill]

If they weren't going to last long term like they said, and the temptation was strong, then thats not fun dating, thats just bad news dating.

 

[nbiol]

I can actually see that as a valid reason to break up. IF they both know they cannot wait until marriage, what is choice you have? Either give in or break off the relationship completely. Quite honestly, the more "Christian" thing to do would be to get rid of the relationship, although it may be hard. Giving into temptation is so so so easy, and if it is a temptation for them, they have two choices. Run away or run to it. If they can't see being together without giving in, then I can honestly see that reason as being valid.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Sounds like a dumb reason to me if that was the ONLY reason, but there is a 99 percent likelyhood, IMO, that more was behind it.

 

[gottabemore2life]

Sounds like a dumb reason to me if that was the ONLY reason, but there is a 99 percent likelyhood, IMO, that more was behind it.

I agree. If they loved each other enough and wanted their relationship to work, they could have abstained from sex. There are probably other underlying factors that they don't wish to discuss (something embarrassing or shameful perhaps that they did not wish others to know).

But, for whatever reason, it didn't work out. Although you are curious, I believe it would be a bit rude to pry any further on the issue at the risk of upsetting one of those people.

If we are simply speculating whether physical temptation is a good reason to break off a relationship, I would say yes. When your lust for someone outgrows your love (wanting the best for them) for someone, then it turns into a very unhealthy, self-gratifying relationship.

 

[Briseis]

If they weren't going to last long term like they said, and the temptation was strong, then thats not fun dating, thats just bad news dating.

Actually, I said that they didnt say that they wouldnt last anyway. But it doesnt matter. I already said I know it is none of my business, but no one here knows who i am talking about, so I think I am allowed to be confused.

Sounds like a dumb reason to me if that was the ONLY reason, but there is a 99 percent likelyhood, IMO, that more was behind it.

That seems to make the most sense.

 

[Windmill]

Actually, I said that they didnt say that they wouldnt last anyway. But it doesnt matter. I already said I know it is none of my business, but no one here knows who i am talking about, so I think I am allowed to be confused.


That seems to make the most sense.

Sorry, I misread your post

 

[eatenbylocusts]

My best friend was in a situation similar to this. Her bf is still a technical virgin in his early 40's and their relationship progressed to a lot of making out and dry-humping within a few weeks. After talking to some of his small group members he broke things off with her. Keep in mind he initiated everything, so what did he learn?

They kept talking and got back together within a week. Back to the previous activity and then he talked about breaking up again. The next time around she forcefully suggested they start doing other outside activities so they actually develop other parts of the relationship.

Personally, I find his actions childish. Be a man. If you know it's wrong for you, make the changes so they don't keep happening. Breaking up to protect you from yourself and hurting someone else in the process just seems immature to me. Maybe it will work out for them, but it seems like he's got some leadership issues to work on.