Concern about drawings

[Melist]

I am a step mom to three children ages 13, 10, and 8. I have a son who just turned 11. My husband and I have been married for two years. It has been a huge adjustment and struggle for all. We certainly have come a long way thanks to constant prayer and faith.

Our current worry is of the 13 year old. We found drawings of him performing and receiving oral sex. He included speech bubbles that were very detailed. The chilling part is that he labeled a couple of the figures with my son's name.

I am confident that nothing has happened at this point. I have talked with my son, and my husband has talked with the 13 year old. I did discuss this with a therapist who explained that in no way was this normal behavior (I'm aware of this) and that labeling the pictures with names is extremely frightening, because it means he has made it real in his head.

My step children live from one extreme to another between mom's house and dad's house. They are allowed to surf the internet, listen to music with horrible lyrics, and so on. Thus said, it is still not normal to draw that. My son is depicted as upset in the photos while the 13 year old is smiling. Counselor thought maybe lack of control between parents and homes. He can control other people through sexual behavior.

Part of me wants to ruuuuunnnnnnnn! Part of me wants to keep working towards a healthy home with all kids and parents. I am torn...thoughts or advice. Has anyone experienced anything similar. Does this type of behavior change with counseling??? Thank you!

 

[highranger]

no household is perfect, some have different challenges than others..i don't have any advice directly to your problem, but i know God will not put you through any thing that he will not give you the strength to make it through..

and never forget, all things work together for the glory of God..while satan is using this as a distraction in your life..you should be praising the Lord for the blessing that you have already been promised will come out of it..although you may have to work for it, but hard work always pays off the most in the end..

hang in their, we'll be praying for you and your family..remember one thing, do what it takes to get the kids through these years..it will not last forever..

 

[dawnsday]

I am a step mom to three children ages 13, 10, and 8. I have a son who just turned 11. My husband and I have been married for two years. It has been a huge adjustment and struggle for all. We certainly have come a long way thanks to constant prayer and faith.

Our current worry is of the 13 year old. We found drawings of him performing and receiving oral sex. He included speech bubbles that were very detailed. The chilling part is that he labeled a couple of the figures with my son's name.

I am confident that nothing has happened at this point. I have talked with my son, and my husband has talked with the 13 year old. I did discuss this with a therapist who explained that in no way was this normal behavior (I'm aware of this) and that labeling the pictures with names is extremely frightening, because it means he has made it real in his head.

My step children live from one extreme to another between mom's house and dad's house. They are allowed to surf the internet, listen to music with horrible lyrics, and so on. Thus said, it is still not normal to draw that. My son is depicted as upset in the photos while the 13 year old is smiling. Counselor thought maybe lack of control between parents and homes. He can control other people through sexual behavior.

Part of me wants to ruuuuunnnnnnnn! Part of me wants to keep working towards a healthy home with all kids and parents. I am torn...thoughts or advice. Has anyone experienced anything similar. Does this type of behavior change with counseling??? Thank you!

I hate to be the one to ask, but are you sure there has been no abuse to the child drawing the pictures? Often, children who have been abused will fantasize or act out that abuse on smaller children, as a method of control.

And, if not, then yes, this can change with counseling, regardless of the cause. Things are never for sure, but most likely this child, regardless of his motivations, is confused, and has something deeply troubling him. While the child being depicted in the drawings must be upset, this is a case of "saving" the child who is the artist.

 

[Finn88]

Often, children who have been abused will fantasize or act out that abuse on smaller children, as a method of control.

I dont want to panic you but this is true! I've done alot of child protection training in my career and this would certainly be an indicator that somthing untoward may be going on that he is unlikely to talk about! Dirty pictures drawn by a teenage boy are one thing, but pictures of abuse with names and discriptions are concerning! I would be keeping a really close eye on both boys, and LISTEN! They may try to tell you somthing without you realising it. I really hope there is a more innocent explanation for this behaviour but I would deffinately try and set up some counselling!



Feona x

 

[Matariki]

Speaking from personal experience, I was molested when I was a child at school by other school students (who were probably molested themselves). When I was around 11 I also started to draw similar pictures, however I usually hid them from my parents. I was exposed to sexual interaction at a very young age at school its only now as an adult that I've found the courage to speak up about it. I suggest investigating, I know I hid allot of what happened to me during my childhood from my parents out of fear.

The other thing that could of happened if you don't have a child friendly internet provider is that he could ran into pornography. Its honestly that easy to find on the internet, its everywhere.

No, this is not normal behavior and the abused can become the abusers. Something definitely happened to your step son. Is he doing one on one counseling with his counselor?

 

[susie1979]

Are u sure tht he wasn't molested? I hav a 6 yr old tht was drawing pictures and doing other things. So I know tht ths is hrd. And I've married for 1 yr it been hrd caus all tht I've dealt with my son has happened in my first yr of marriage bt ithank God tht he blessed me with a wonderful husband.