Companionship without Romance

[Danfrey]

Here goes....

This is a bit difficult to explain, but I have a question about male, female friendships.

I lost my Candice in Aug 2005. She was my 3rd wife. I was divorced twice before I met here. I was also an alcoholic, drug user, (insert sin here), etc. Candice and I came to Lord together. We often talked about the fact that if we had come to the Lord before we met that we would not have married. I have strong feelings about divorce and remarriage. I know it sounds hypocritical, but it is difficult to explain. Anyway, because of strong religious convictions and a physical condition Candice and I shared (not terminal) I will not remarry.

Here is my question. Is it possible to have a strong friendship with a person of the opposite sex without it ever crossing the boundries of friendship. I know it is not easy, but do you think it is possible? I do enjoy the interactions and friendship that only a lady can provide. One thing that makes this particularly difficult for me is that I was raised in a house full of females. I had 3 sisters and a single mother for years. I do know that having a close friendship with a married woman is out of the question because of the impression it gives.

Anyway, I appreciate any thoughts on the subject and will take nothing in a negative way.

 

[Abiel]

I'm sure companionship of this type is possible, but I do think that there is always the possibility that for one or other of the parties, it will change to something else. I suppose it is a question of boundaries.

 

[Manna]

Yes, I think it is possible, but like you said, it's not easy!! It would take complete honesty, obvious boundaries, and a lot of discipline. Because, honestly, in a deep friendship between members of the opposite sex, the more intimate you become (even without a HINT of romance), the more danger there is in someone developing feelings for the other person.

I think you would have to be very upfront with a female friend. She would need to know from Day One that you are still 100% connected with your wife and you don't plan on filling her place with another woman. And then while your relationship grows, you would need to continue to examine how things are going so that you can re-establish the boundaries to make sure that feelings don't get stepped on.

I'm rambling, I'm sorry. Yes, I think a deep, meaningful friendship without romance is possible. That person would have to be a wonderful friend to be worth all of the work it would take to properly maintain that friendship!