I
Inperfected
Guest
Anything about communication with ya SO...
What does it for you, and what for him, and how do you relate between them?
What does it for you, and what for him, and how do you relate between them?
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
i know what you mean by love languages. mine is Physical Touch and Word's of Affirmation and my girlfriend's is Quality Time and Acts of Service.
we read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It really helped our relationship and i understand her a lot more now
we read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It really helped our relationship and i understand her a lot more now
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Mm my parents have those books and i've read them a bit (kids teenagers and adults one 
)
But i haven't quite worked out what mine is even, never mind his! I think mine is somewhere between, quality time, and physical touch... Yeah, probly quality time. Now his definately isn't. I'd probly guess serving or physical touch... Often it frustrates me, coz hes doing summin nice for someone else, and all i want is the time with him... Heh...
For me communication is about more than that... its getting through the hard times by talking, and actually, talkings quite a hard thing. Trying to say, "i don't feel loved" or "we don't talk enough" can be a real hard one actually...
I love discussing stuff, and often find communication late at nite or on the phone works the best... Or in the dark car down at the beach... (no that's not dodgy, too many people around, just both feel comfy there)
)But i haven't quite worked out what mine is even, never mind his! I think mine is somewhere between, quality time, and physical touch... Yeah, probly quality time. Now his definately isn't. I'd probly guess serving or physical touch... Often it frustrates me, coz hes doing summin nice for someone else, and all i want is the time with him... Heh...
For me communication is about more than that... its getting through the hard times by talking, and actually, talkings quite a hard thing. Trying to say, "i don't feel loved" or "we don't talk enough" can be a real hard one actually...
I love discussing stuff, and often find communication late at nite or on the phone works the best... Or in the dark car down at the beach... (no that's not dodgy, too many people around, just both feel comfy there)
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In my experience the key is total openess. I'm lucky in the sense that my boyfriend is a very open and totally honest person, not that other guys are liars but he feels totally comfortable talking about feelings and emotions. He's quite in touch with that side of things which makes life a lot easier.
The main thing about us is that we don't hold back. If something's bothering us, if one of us doesn't feel loved, we just come out and say it like it is. We're never nasty, we just tell each other how we feel. And we talk about it straight away, nip it in the bud type thing.
But you're right about the whole phone thing. We talk a lot more deeply on the phone than face-to-face, and even more so over instant messaging. The dark is always good too. I definately find u can be more open when there's not as much eye contact! lol.
I think if you know that your relationship will survive anything- and it takes a while to get to that stage, then you'll find you're able to talk about everything in a very open and honest way because you know that it won't affect your relationship in a negative way, it just means you might have to work through some stuff together. But communication, as they say, is the key!
The main thing about us is that we don't hold back. If something's bothering us, if one of us doesn't feel loved, we just come out and say it like it is. We're never nasty, we just tell each other how we feel. And we talk about it straight away, nip it in the bud type thing.
But you're right about the whole phone thing. We talk a lot more deeply on the phone than face-to-face, and even more so over instant messaging. The dark is always good too. I definately find u can be more open when there's not as much eye contact! lol.
I think if you know that your relationship will survive anything- and it takes a while to get to that stage, then you'll find you're able to talk about everything in a very open and honest way because you know that it won't affect your relationship in a negative way, it just means you might have to work through some stuff together. But communication, as they say, is the key!
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Mmm... i think you gotta realise there are times that things will affect it negitively tho, because not everyone is able to cope with challenge at every moment of the day. When you get a challenge the first thing is to react negitively and then you maybe think about it. I notice that things change and that.
An example is i keep asking my SO to not swear, and one day driving i said it again... And he said, what you don't know is that the only time i swear now is around you. Sometimes the last place for something to change is where you are the most comfy and so sometimes you see those frustrating bits long after msot people.
An example is i keep asking my SO to not swear, and one day driving i said it again... And he said, what you don't know is that the only time i swear now is around you. Sometimes the last place for something to change is where you are the most comfy and so sometimes you see those frustrating bits long after msot people.
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my SO and I have very different styles of communication. We've been challenged by these differences and have had to make conscious efforts to understand and relate well with each other during the times those differences show.
Thankfully, we are both willing to learn and accept the other's style and learn from it. If we weren't we would have broken up long ago. Communication is KEY and being willing to pursue clear and honest lines of communication can keep a relationship alive.
Thankfully, we are both willing to learn and accept the other's style and learn from it. If we weren't we would have broken up long ago. Communication is KEY and being willing to pursue clear and honest lines of communication can keep a relationship alive.
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Pope Gonzo
Well-Known Member
Communication is the core of our relationship. It's the difference between my relationships with the woman I'm marrying and any other girl I've dated.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Mmm... I think it's the good an d bad communiation as well that matters... Being happy with disagreeing. Fighting is good believe it or not, or so i have found. Summin else that i find interesting is working out why you aern't communicating well...
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KristianJ
What's in a name? Letters...
Maeyken said:
I agree - to me it shows that you're not agreeing to disagree, but trying to get your partner to conform to your view in an unhealthy and selfish manner. Disagreements are certainly healthy if they're not about an issue where agreement is key to growth in the relationship. But to take it to a level where provocation is involved, and where any sort of scarring (physical, mental, emotional, etc) could result, is probably not wise.
In terms of personal experiences and thoughts, I quite often find that silence can be a good thing. Not stubborn or negative silence, but those ones where you're with your partner and just enjoying the fact that God has blessed you with him/her. I just feel at peace giving her a nice long hug and letting her know through it how much her presence in my life means to me
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
me and my girlfriend talk about all kinds of stuff. we both don't hold back. we are doing devotions together and talking about it. every now and then we talk about our relationship and it has brought us so much closer. if one person is holding back and not talking about stuff together it will affect a relationship. i am always honest to my girlfriend and i never lie or hold stuff back. communication is the key to a successful relationship, err well one of the parts of a successful one.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Hmm this could be jsut as interesting.
I think the keys are:
* Best friendship
* Communication
* Attraction
* Honesty (and so Trust)
* Being able to sacrifice your own wishes for the other.
Thats my first list of ideas...
I think the keys are:
* Best friendship
* Communication
* Attraction
* Honesty (and so Trust)
* Being able to sacrifice your own wishes for the other.
Thats my first list of ideas...
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