- Jul 5, 2004
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Obituary for Common Sense
Obituary
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when
to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't
always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but
could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue
you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to
Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Obituary
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when
to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't
always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but
could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue
you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to
Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
I like this! 
...RIP!
