Collecting Badges (this does not belong in "hobbies")

[phoenix_kid82]

I collect badges. I've been collecting them for a long time. Especially during the five years i spent away from God. I wear them like medals, and most people in my life know me by them. I feel like they've become part of me, like i don't even know who i am without them.

Most of them are quite colourful, some i paid a very high price for, some are quite rare. They make people stare. They fascinate people. Some are very envious, some commend me, some befriend me so they can wear a badge that says "i know an ex-this" or "i'm down with a former-that".

However, the fruits of this labour have been of no value. In fact, they have taken away the value of anything i do have by honest means and integrity. Any praise or vip treatment "gained" by this exercise is empty to me. Because it's not for me, it's for a false god i've caused them to perceive.

And as for any praise that comes my way from people who have seen through a few layers over the years, i instinctively throw that away also, because i deserve nothing.

I have tried to make a god of myself in this world. I have made the things of this world which are important to man and despicable to God the things i strive for and the things i cause others to strive for. I am responsible for causing little ones to stumble. I have empowered them to pursue death.

These badges have been my pride, but not my joy. I have traded my true identity for them, and so much more i'm sure.

Not to sure why i'm sharing this, i just felt like i needed to. God's taking me deeper. I'm not expecting any answers, or for others to know what i'm on about. But if you're reading this now, thanx for letting me share this with U

 

[phoenix_kid82]

Psalm 49

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.

1 Hear this, all you peoples;
listen, all who live in this world,
2 both low and high,
rich and poor alike:
3 My mouth will speak words of wisdom;
the utterance from my heart will give understanding.
4 I will turn my ear to a proverb;
with the harp I will expound my riddle:

5 Why should I fear when evil days come,
when wicked deceivers surround me-
6 those who trust in their wealth
and boast of their great riches?
7 No man can redeem the life of another
or give to God a ransom for him-
8 the ransom for a life is costly,
no payment is ever enough-
9 that he should live on forever
and not see decay.

10 For all can see that wise men die;
the foolish and the senseless alike perish
and leave their wealth to others.
11 Their tombs will remain their houses [1] forever,
their dwellings for endless generations,
though they had [2] named lands after themselves.

12 But man, despite his riches, does not endure;
he is [3] like the beasts that perish.

13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,
and of their followers, who approve their sayings.
Selah
14 Like sheep they are destined for the grave, [4]
and death will feed on them.
The upright will rule over them in the morning;
their forms will decay in the grave, [5]
far from their princely mansions.
15 But God will redeem my life [6] from the grave;
he will surely take me to himself.
Selah

16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich,
when the splendor of his house increases;
17 for he will take nothing with him when he dies,
his splendor will not descend with him.
18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed-
and men praise you when you prosper-
19 he will join the generation of his fathers,
who will never see the light of life .

20 A man who has riches without understanding
is like the beasts that perish.

 

[Serenity Now!]

Well, Phoenix. It seems like you've recognized that this has become a problem with your walk with God. Remember one of the most important verse in the Bible:

God gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God forgives you if you ask. Praise God!!