Clear Msg. Have Faith in you and in GOD... & don't give in!

[CBN]

Hi All,
It was 5 years, 3 months and 5 days ago, the hardest 6 months of my life.

I heard the "I want D" from my wife, and it was huge, big shock!
Yes, we were arguing, and a lot lately, but this was still shocking - I couldn't gather back, took me a day to realize that she meant it !

After all, we were sweethearts of all our friends just 3 yrs back, what went wrong?!

After that...she started dating someone.. and then moved in with him..and i moved out to different house.. all that happened in a months time after we separated!

It was too much for me to handle at the time... shocking... heavy!

I had the 'usual horrible' ride of feeling angry..guilty...and whole bunch of emotions for a long time. I wanted to save the marriage ... tried everything i can to convince her to rethink...and what not... whole lot of stuff... but no avail for almost 2 months !

And then a friend introduced me to one of his "guide"/"mentor"! He turned out to be the messenger from GOD! His advice did the trick! I could gather back myself in quick time... and could work on myself..and then could turn around the whole situation on its head.

Started seeing immediate change in her behavior and then some more.. it was encouraging... for me to continue to act on the advice...<<I actually started taking notes, keeping journal and watching my behavior closely and day by day started working on myself.. and measuring it! >> and..... one day, out of blue (it was 5 months after the D word!), I heard the knock on the door.. it was her... crying and sorry and sorry and all!

Finally the message was taken in. She made up her mind to be back.

We got back.. and it was hard..very hard at first... but slowly we worked through it. I saw my part..she saw hers..and we started rebuilding from where we left off with the lessons and resolve to never fall back in that mess ever again!

Was it worth? Hell yeah! We went against the whole damn world to get married in first place... and then we messed it up....so I believed that we owed to ourselves and everybody who loved us to give it the chance it deserved.

5 yrs down the time.. and I look back.. and I can tell you, every moment of it was worth it!

We moved to different country altogether.. i got my computers business started... we now have 2 beautiful kids..4 & 2... joy of our lives! we did a lots of travelling too!

So guys, and gals...those who are in despair.. don't give in.. don't give in to your emotions... its temporary... the pain.. its temporary.. come out of it and take control of life... i know it feels like hell... but the hell and back makes u stronger....

Take my word for it!
CB

PS: If anyone wants those notes, I am happy to share those. Just let me know where to send the excel file!

 

[Solomons Porch]

That is awesome news that your family was restored and things are much better, thank you for sharing the inspiration to not loose hope. You are right, sometimes we have to take a step back and evaluate ourselves, make the needed changes to go forward. God bless and welcome to CF

 

[CBN]

That is awesome news that your family was restored and things are much better, thank you for sharing the inspiration to not loose hope. You are right, sometimes we have to take a step back and evaluate ourselves, make the needed changes to go forward. God bless and welcome to CF

Thanks for the warm welcome Solomons.
I was going through old files on computer... and I found these Notes I had taken and meticulous steps I had followed to discipline my behavior and more importantly my thoughts so I won't mess up.... It was drive down memory lane... and I thought I will post it here & if someone wants to know... happy to share!

Perhaps I can tell a thing or two to do & NOT DO... and help save a marriage with a post.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Thanks for the warm welcome Solomons.
I was going through old files on computer... and I found these Notes I had taken and meticulous steps I had followed to discipline my behavior and more importantly my thoughts so I won't mess up.... It was drive down memory lane... and I thought I will post it here & if someone wants to know... happy to share!

Perhaps I can tell a thing or two to do & NOT DO... and help save a marriage with a post.

There are many here that have issues within their marriage and of course, they are praying and believing in God for answers, but if you have any pointers I would say feel free to share them, I am sure it would help out many, especially if you've been there done that and got the t-shirt lol

 

[CBN]

No no... don't have that t shirt yet.. but perhaps its a good idea to get one printed and show off!

When in emotional mess, one wants to hear exact practical thing that he/she needs to do to get over it and fix the very thing. (Happiness before solution.... e.g. horse before buggy ... never the other way!)

There is the power of faith of course! Faith that every thing happens for GOOD... and GOD never gives you more than you can handle!

My notes are in my "short form understanding" as it is... I am thinking about rehashing it and put it on a video or something.... perhaps create a presentation or something like that...

But hey... when I had shown it to one of my friends last year.. he was all.. "let's get it in a book!" (It had helped him get through his situation... his situation was much messier than mine!) Those notes have helped .. i think at least 10 couple situations improve in last 2/3 years. But again I have been there talking to one of the spouses about the notes and how to navigate through those.

Idea of creating a book fell through though... never acted on it. I got really really busy with the computer software company I started 2 yrs back. Its hard to find time.

Now I am able to breath easy on weekends at least. And I think its a worthwhile thing to do.

May be that s a good idea ! -- May be I should do just that ! get a simple book created!

Thanks for the suggestion to you!
Heck, if idea comes through, I can even create that into a video series ( i can get my staff to create the software / app for it too!)

Question would be what all should this book contain? I can of course begin with my notes...

Any suggestion?

May be we can ask people here. <<Hey but only weekends available for me to work on it - I think i will be able to stretch.>>

 

[Solomons Porch]

No no... don't have that t shirt yet.. but perhaps its a good idea to get one printed and show off!

When in emotional mess, one wants to hear exact practical thing that he/she needs to do to get over it and fix the very thing. (Happiness before solution.... e.g. horse before buggy ... never the other way!)

There is the power of faith of course! Faith that every thing happens for GOOD... and GOD never gives you more than you can handle!

My notes are in my "short form understanding" as it is... I am thinking about rehashing it and put it on a video or something.... perhaps create a presentation or something like that...

But hey... when I had shown it to one of my friends last year.. he was all.. "let's get it in a book!" (It had helped him get through his situation... his situation was much messier than mine!) Those notes have helped .. i think at least 10 couple situations improve in last 2/3 years. But again I have been there talking to one of the spouses about the notes and how to navigate through those.

Idea of creating a book fell through though... never acted on it. I got really really busy with the computer software company I started 2 yrs back. Its hard to find time.

Now I am able to breath easy on weekends at least. And I think its a worthwhile thing to do.

May be that s a good idea ! -- May be I should do just that ! get a simple book created!

Thanks for the suggestion to you!
Heck, if idea comes through, I can even create that into a video series ( i can get my staff to create the software / app for it too!)

Question would be what all should this book contain? I can of course begin with my notes...

Any suggestion?

May be we can ask people here. <<Hey but only weekends available for me to work on it - I think i will be able to stretch.>>

I say go for it because marriage and a Godly home is much needed these days, it's really hard for many couples that are struggling and in times of desperate need something to help guide them through it with a Godly mentality and trusting in His promised words. There is also a spot here for blogging, maybe you can even do something there, be praying about what direction and if it's meant to be God will supply, Amen?

 

[Solomons Porch]

And YES you should get the t-shirt lol
There's a guy here on CF that actually makes and prints them, who knows right?

 

[CBN]

Thanks for encouragement... I need help from people out here to help me put outline to this book...<<If I see enough encouragement and replies, I wouldn't back out from creating this book ... and will be happy to email those the first copy who ask for it too>>

So, If anyone out there listening & watching... please answer this question

"What are your two top questions about "Saving & nurturing your Marriage" that we absolutely NEED to answer in our book?"

I will use the answers to outline and structure my notes and the book. And Once book is ready ( should take about 2/3 weeks after the sufficient replies), I will definitely share it with you.

 

[CBN]

Thanks for encouragement... I need help from people out here to help me put outline to this book...<<If I see enough encouragement and replies, I wouldn't back out from creating this book ... and will be happy to email those the first copy who ask for it too>>

So, If anyone out there listening & watching... please answer this question

"What are your two top questions about "Saving & nurturing your Marriage" that we absolutely NEED to answer in our book?"

I will use the answers to outline and structure my notes and the book. And Once book is ready ( should take about 2/3 weeks after the sufficient replies), I will definitely share it with you.

Also.. if anyone wants my notes.. (its in excel file) pls let me know where to send those.