Chuck Norris Facts

[wolfman544]

Basically it's just that. A thread for random Chuck Norris facts.
Just keep them clean, I have seen some that should not be posted here, so don't post those here.

Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than 10 parsecs.

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

See, it's fun. Well, at least I'm having fun. It's a little lonely here though.

 

[JPPT1974]

Chuck Norris doesn't do drugs!

 

[wolfman544]

yay another person

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

 

[wolfman544]

When Obi Wan was struck down by Darth Vader, he became Chuck Norris.

 

[JPPT1974]

When seven guys were trying to beat him, Chuckie took them down.

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris is only 1 of 3 people who are allowed to divide by zero

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

 

[wolfman544]

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

 

[wolfman544]

The one dollar bill originally had Chuck Norris on it, but the beard kept getting caught in vending machines.The one dollar bill originally had Chuck Norris on it, but the beard kept getting caught in vending machines.

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.

 

[JPPT1974]

That if you mess with him, he can come and kick your butt.

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris once won an Olympic gold medal for longest ski jump. His medal was revoked after it was discovered he accomplished this feat completely barefoot.

 

[wolfman544]

Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.

 

[JPPT1974]

Chuck Norris does things lickerty split

 

[wolfman544]

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and possibly foot sized bruises on the face.

 

[wolfman544]

If a tree falls down in the forest, it does not make a sound. Unless Chuck Norris tells it to.

 

[goldenviolet]

he has better hair than most girls

 

[wolfman544]

he has better hair than most girls

Hehe nice

Caesar's real last words were, "Et tu, Chuck Norris..."