Christmas present for spouse?

[brokenman]

Should one who is seperated from their spouse still get them a Christmas present?

I realize nothing big or anything. I was going to get a picture of her's (beatles pic) custom framed and/or some books she wants from Amazon.

What do you think?

Thanks

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I think it's nice and noble of you to consider getting her a gift or two.
It does a heart good to give a gift whether or not it's appreciated or reciprocated.

 

[madison1101]

I was advised to let him go, and not get a gift. It was hard. What was even harder was that our wedding anniversary was in January, one month later.

Are you trying to hold on in the hopes of reconciliation? That was my hope for a very long time.

 

[psalms66]

yeah I wondered about that too. I haven't made up my mind yet. My husband would probably view it as manipulative, as a ploy to "get him back". So I don't know. Maybe just a card or something. My birthday was a week or so after he left and he didn't even say happy birthday to me. But he did take the children to buy me cards. That was a nice gesture.

I jsut don't really know what to get him. Anything I would buy my "husband" seems too personal. So I don't know. Any ideas for non-personal gifts?

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I personally won't be getting mine anything probably ever again.
That sounds harsh but after years of going out of my way to make
sure she got something special and/or what she asked for with no sense of appreciation or reciprocation..... It doesn't help that she keeps putting the divorce papers under my nose whenever she gets the chance.

 

[brokenman]

Some mixed responses. I don't expect anything back and she could possibly see some sort of meaning from it, but I am not trying to imply anything. Mainly because she likes getting gifts but it isn't a major love language of hers...so I don't know. I was going to do the frame thing for her before we seperated.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Well I just put up an advent calender for her, alongside all my kids and my own. She visits every day, thought she'd appreciate it.

Too skint to buy a pressie, our pressies this year are about family in this broken time. We aint buying much of anything at all.

 

[free4all]

Depends on where your relationship is with her now.

When we were separated, dw bought me a Christmas present and I thought it was a nice gesture. (I was still angry with her so I didn't open it right away. Then some theif stole it from under my hotel bed before I opened it. )

I didn't buy her anything because I was angry over what she had done to cause the separation. She had forced it upon me and made it clear she didn't want me around. If I'm not acceptable to her, then neither are my gifts. In the same situation, I still would not buy her anything.

 

[deliciousBass]

This is a toughie.

I feel obliged to get my wife something regardless of whether or not she reciprocates...I will probably just give her a card and something simple like a Starbucks gift card or maybe a Wal-mart gift card. I don't want her to think that I have hopes of reconcilliation so that's why I won't get her anything "flashy" or big.

The anniversary in January is going to be even harder I think...I dunno what I'm gonna do then...

This is a depressing topic .

 

[imaniingod]

I personally won't be getting mine anything probably ever again.
That sounds harsh but after years of going out of my way to make
sure she got something special and/or what she asked for with no sense of appreciation or reciprocation..... It doesn't help that she keeps putting the divorce papers under my nose whenever she gets the chance.

That is terrible, I feel for you good brothers who have the right stuff but didnt find the mates that would appreciate the love that came from Heaven above. God Bless You!

 

[imaniingod]

I would never buy my ex another gift ever again, I bought him so much while we were together and he didnt appreciate it. Also from a woman's point of view if my ex is buying me something it must mean that he wants to get back together, that is how women feel because we know that if a man doesnt do anything for you then he truly doesnt care about you.

 

[imaniingod]

The reason why you feel that you should get a gift is because of the love that you have in your heart for your spouses. That is wonderful because it is the love of God that is shining through. God Bless!

 

[brokenman]

So is there a dollar amount I should cap myself at so it doesn't look bad?...and because I don't have a job. But then I need to find something small and meaningful. Its just a cruel cruel cycle.

 

[theJam]

I think I'll get my wife something, but I'm not sure what. Maybe.

 

[pboop]

If you enjoy giving...give. I think we sometimes forget the reason for the season. If you're both on decent terms a greeting card with a store gift card would be nice and not too personal. Try not to let her actions change who you are. God bless you.