Like the question says, is it possible to be a Christian and really want to have an aspect of Buddhism? Specifically, to train yourself to want to have zero attachment so that you do not feel pain anymore.
Basically I'm tired of being in emotional pain all the time. I'm quite certain no one wants to hear the story again, but simply put I'm sick of hurting and I want it to stop!!!
I know Christ is real and alive; I believe....but I can't accept that Christ/God/Holy Spirit wants me in a pain for the rest of my life, but it's 10 years on with no hope in sight. So the question is can I train myself to have zero attachment and still be a Christian? Because suicide isn't an option, for obvious reasons, but I'm really just at my wits on living with torment that no one cares, no one wants me, and I'm alone all the time. Before anyone gripes at me, yes I've tried going to church for fellowship and all I get is fake people and no real connection. Yes, I know Christ said He would be with us even to the end of the age....but He....there is no conversation there, no back and forth....and, well...yeah I'm just done. So, thoughts? Can I actually do this or will it end up failing and I'll just have to be in pain until I die?