- Jan 28, 2020
- 4
- 2
- 28
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Wesleyan
- Marital Status
- Single
I want to start this off by saying that I recently have gotten out of some very heavy stuff and have been transformed by Christ. I found a song on YouTube that directly relates to something many Christians are currently dealing with today. This song is called Bad Apple (which was originally from the Japanese Game called Touhou). This song is not a Christian song but speaks volumes of truth about Christianity and people struggling with their faith that have fallen so far that they do not know if they can break free. I want to say that you can by Christ’s power you can break free from any stronghold in your life whether it be drugs, porn addiction, deceit, or in my case (gender confusion, lies and homosexuality). I want to start off explaining the lyrics to this song and why this song can be encouraging to a Christian going through something like homosexuality or gender confusion. Here are the lyrics with my thoughts in parens.
“Ever on and on I continue circling
With nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony (someone who has become angry at God and Christians)
Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing
And suddenly I see that I can't break free—
(Someone who has fallen deep into sin and feels they cannot break free from it’s grip on them)
I'm
Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity
With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony
To tell me who I am, who I was
Uncertainty enveloping my mind
Till I can't break free
(Someone who once was living for God but now is living deep in sin and have uncertainty who they have become due to confusion on their gender/sexuality)
And
Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real
But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel
(Maybe this is all a nightmare and it wouldn’t mean anything if I told people how I feel because many do not understand the pain one feels when going through this level of confusion/anguish)
So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside
And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night
(This is a very dark aspect of the song in which a person wishes they didn’t know the truth that their lifestyle is wrong and wish they stopped feeling guilty for it but deep down it is causing them pain and agony).
You can tell me what to say; you can tell me where to go
But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know
(Christians tell said person dealing with this issue to look to scriptures but they are so far into sin that they doubt they will even care anymore about what people tell them)
If I make another move there'll be no more turning back
Because everything will change and it all will fade to black
(If said person takes one more step they will fall away completely into sin and God says in scripture that he will give people over to their sin).
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night?
Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?
(This person wants badly to change they want to be understood but they wonder if God has a place for them because of how far they have gone down the rabbit hole of sin and evil).
Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay, or should I go?
I've forgotten how to tell. Did I ever even know?
(This person displays extreme confusion in which their mind has become so chaotic that they have forgotten the truth from a lie and begin to wonder if they ever knew the truth to begin with)
Can I take another step? I've done everything I can
All the people that I see I will never understand
(This person feels they have tried everything but cannot break free and feels completely alone and that people do not understand the nature of what they are going through.)
If I find a way to change, if I step into the light
Then I'll never be the same and it all will fade to white
(This person wants to find a way to change but knows if they do they will never be the same but they want that desperately and yearn for Christ even in their darkest hour. Through they walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is still there and can save them from the life they have been living)
If I make another move, if I take another step
Then it all would fall apart. There'd be nothing of me left
(If this person continues in their sin they will completely fall apart and feels it will completely destroy them in the end. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.)
If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night
Will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white?
(This person is crying desperately for help they want their heart to return to white, but feel trapped in their sin)
Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am?
(This person is asking God to tell them who He is and tell them where they are at and if there is any hope that they can return to Him).
I've forgotten how too see; I've forgotten if I can
(This persons mind has become so chaotic that they cannot tell truth from a lie).
If I opened up my eyes there'd be no more going back
'Cause I'd throw it all away and it all would fade to black”
(If this person opens their heart to sin, they will throw away Gods gift of eternal life and it will all fade to black as sin would completely consume them).
Okay I want to be clear here. This isn’t a song to me about a person who is an unbeliever but rather a Christian who is struggling with their faith in Jesus and has backslid so far that they are having trouble seeing the truth. God said that in the end times good will be called evil and evil will be called good. I don’t know what you are going through but I want to promise you that no matter how far you have fallen into sin that God will always wait for you with open arms. Christ loves you, He died for your sins, ALL OF THEM. Homosexuality is not an unforgivable sin, gender confusion, lying, lust, all of these can be forgiven. Do not let Satan and sin take you! Seek Christ in all you do because i lived in sin for a very long time and it almost killed me. I wanted to be saved but I thought there was no way out. I promise you there is! Christ will always provide a way. For His ways are higher than our ways. I believe that I struggled with these sins for awhile so that God could help me, help others who are going through similar situations as I did.
Here is the link to the song.
“Ever on and on I continue circling
With nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony (someone who has become angry at God and Christians)
Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing
And suddenly I see that I can't break free—
(Someone who has fallen deep into sin and feels they cannot break free from it’s grip on them)
I'm
Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity
With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony
To tell me who I am, who I was
Uncertainty enveloping my mind
Till I can't break free
(Someone who once was living for God but now is living deep in sin and have uncertainty who they have become due to confusion on their gender/sexuality)
And
Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real
But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel
(Maybe this is all a nightmare and it wouldn’t mean anything if I told people how I feel because many do not understand the pain one feels when going through this level of confusion/anguish)
So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside
And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night
(This is a very dark aspect of the song in which a person wishes they didn’t know the truth that their lifestyle is wrong and wish they stopped feeling guilty for it but deep down it is causing them pain and agony).
You can tell me what to say; you can tell me where to go
But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know
(Christians tell said person dealing with this issue to look to scriptures but they are so far into sin that they doubt they will even care anymore about what people tell them)
If I make another move there'll be no more turning back
Because everything will change and it all will fade to black
(If said person takes one more step they will fall away completely into sin and God says in scripture that he will give people over to their sin).
Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night?
Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?
(This person wants badly to change they want to be understood but they wonder if God has a place for them because of how far they have gone down the rabbit hole of sin and evil).
Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay, or should I go?
I've forgotten how to tell. Did I ever even know?
(This person displays extreme confusion in which their mind has become so chaotic that they have forgotten the truth from a lie and begin to wonder if they ever knew the truth to begin with)
Can I take another step? I've done everything I can
All the people that I see I will never understand
(This person feels they have tried everything but cannot break free and feels completely alone and that people do not understand the nature of what they are going through.)
If I find a way to change, if I step into the light
Then I'll never be the same and it all will fade to white
(This person wants to find a way to change but knows if they do they will never be the same but they want that desperately and yearn for Christ even in their darkest hour. Through they walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is still there and can save them from the life they have been living)
If I make another move, if I take another step
Then it all would fall apart. There'd be nothing of me left
(If this person continues in their sin they will completely fall apart and feels it will completely destroy them in the end. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.)
If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night
Will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white?
(This person is crying desperately for help they want their heart to return to white, but feel trapped in their sin)
Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am?
(This person is asking God to tell them who He is and tell them where they are at and if there is any hope that they can return to Him).
I've forgotten how too see; I've forgotten if I can
(This persons mind has become so chaotic that they cannot tell truth from a lie).
If I opened up my eyes there'd be no more going back
'Cause I'd throw it all away and it all would fade to black”
(If this person opens their heart to sin, they will throw away Gods gift of eternal life and it will all fade to black as sin would completely consume them).
Okay I want to be clear here. This isn’t a song to me about a person who is an unbeliever but rather a Christian who is struggling with their faith in Jesus and has backslid so far that they are having trouble seeing the truth. God said that in the end times good will be called evil and evil will be called good. I don’t know what you are going through but I want to promise you that no matter how far you have fallen into sin that God will always wait for you with open arms. Christ loves you, He died for your sins, ALL OF THEM. Homosexuality is not an unforgivable sin, gender confusion, lying, lust, all of these can be forgiven. Do not let Satan and sin take you! Seek Christ in all you do because i lived in sin for a very long time and it almost killed me. I wanted to be saved but I thought there was no way out. I promise you there is! Christ will always provide a way. For His ways are higher than our ways. I believe that I struggled with these sins for awhile so that God could help me, help others who are going through similar situations as I did.
Here is the link to the song.
