Christian One-Liners

[Jon_]

Some of you have probably already seen these, but I thought I would post them for those who haven't.

Don't let your worries get the best of you ... remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons, than it is to live one.

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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

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People are funny ... they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
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Quit griping about your church ... if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

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If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

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Some minds are like concrete ... thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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Peace starts with a smile.

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I don't know why some people change churches ... what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
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A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

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We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

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Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

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Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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God doesn't call the qualified ... He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts."

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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

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He who angers you ... controls you.

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If God is your Co-pilot ... swap seats.

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Don't give God instructions ... just report for duty.

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The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
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The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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We don't change the message ... the message changes us.
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You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

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Soli Deo Gloria

Jon

 

[edie19]

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
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This one really makes me chuckle. A couple of months ago I wasn't feeling real terrific on Sunday morning, but wasn't sick enough to miss church.

I generally sit in the first or second row. That day I sat in the last row just in case I had to make a quick exit.

You would have thought the roof caved in or something. Everyone asked me what was wrong, why did I move, what was going on. My pastor was afraid he'd done something to offend me. All I could think was, gee - if my moving where I sit gets everyone all worked up, boy are we in a rut.

edie

 

[lmnop9876]

Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

i love this one!

 

[McWilliams]

The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Just wish I could remember this better!!

 

[Imblessed]

Some minds are like concrete ... thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

that one made me laugh out loud!

God doesn't call the qualified ... He qualifies the called.

I love this one. Always makes me feel better

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

that's good one i've never heard.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Also one I've never heard, and I love it




thanks Jon!

 

[JJB]

Here's one I heard yesterday:

Compromise is the devil's language.

 

[mlqurgw]

One from my pastor;

The Word of God never tells me how others ought to treat me, only how I ought to treat others

 

[Jon_]

One from my pastor;

The Word of God never tells me how others ought to treat me, only how I ought to treat others

(Hebrews 4:12 KJV) For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
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Lest we forget, a double-edged sword cuts both ways! Thanks, mlqurgw.

Soli Deo Gloria

Jon

 

[strengthinweakness]

It is easier to preach ten sermons, than it is to live one.

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God doesn't call the qualified ... He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

The first quote above embodies a truth of the Christian life that has sometimes driven me to near-despair. The three quotes below it provide wonderful, Biblically-informed answers to that dilemma for the believer! Thanks for posting these, Jon!

 

[oworm]

Heres another:
The gospel+anything=nothing

 

[Naomi4Christ]

Fantastic.

I need to memorise some of them!

 

[erin74]

This one really makes me chuckle. A couple of months ago I wasn't feeling real terrific on Sunday morning, but wasn't sick enough to miss church.

I generally sit in the first or second row. That day I sat in the last row just in case I had to make a quick exit.

You would have thought the roof caved in or something. Everyone asked me what was wrong, why did I move, what was going on. My pastor was afraid he'd done something to offend me. All I could think was, gee - if my moving where I sit gets everyone all worked up, boy are we in a rut.

edie

I reckon for the next few months you should try sitting somewhere different every week! Then for 2 months stay in the same place. Then for the next couple move around again. That'll keep them on their toes!

 

[DawnAngelOfMercy]

I don't know why some people change churches ... what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

This was my favorite!

 

[erin74]

We have a minster who's quote we like:

"If you find the perfect church, don't join it - you'll only ruin it."

 

[cygnusx1]

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Some minds are like concrete ... thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.


why do the names ben and van spring to mind

 

[Bob Moore]

This isn't exactly one line, but I was wondering......


One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth.

When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good, because he wanted to encourage them...give them a little
something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, just wondering;

I didn't get one either.