Christian Jokes

Beloved One · Jan 10, 2002

ok since no one has said these I will,

Q: where does the Bible talk about baseball?

A: in the big inning!!

Q: what time was adam made

A: just before eve

MizDoulos · Jan 10, 2002

A little Sunday School humor . . .

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Blackwing · Jan 10, 2002

Ooh I like that one LOL

!!!!

bgoh · Jan 10, 2002

How many worship leader does it take to change a lightbulb?
We worship leaders don't change lightbulb, we change the key of the song. :o

ReformedHeathen · Jan 11, 2002

a bit naughty, please be advised.

[sorry, this forums are (1) Christian (2) Family-oriented (3) your post breaks our forum rules - hence we have removed your joke - we apologise, and have a good day! Administrator]

777 · Jan 11, 2002

These are great, Where did you get all of these?

MizDoulos · Jan 11, 2002

Welcome to the forum, 777!

I don't know about the rest, but most of my jokes are e-mailed or added in a letter from one friend to another. Too much time on our hands! (hehe)

Nails&ThoRns · Jan 11, 2002

this isnt origonal or christian, but its clean:

so theres two muffins sittin in a oven. one turns to the other and says, "its startin to get a little hot in here". the other one turns and screams "OH MY GOD ITS A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

i like that one

Kristen · Jan 12, 2002

The Pope

The Pope arrives at JFK and he's met at a baggage claim by a driver
in a bad suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-lettered sign that says,
"Pope."
After getting all the Pope's luggage loaded in the limo -- and His
Holiness doesn't travel light -- the driver notices that the Pope is
still standing on the curb.
"Hey, Mr. Pope," says the driver in accented English, "why have you
not seated yourself in the excellent limo?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive
at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."
"That is very much against the rules!" protested the driver, wishing
he'd never left Calcutta.
"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the
wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing
the airport, the Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph.
"Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleaded the worried
driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the
siren.
"Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moaned the driver.
The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman
approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his
motorcycle, and got on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he said
to the dispatch.
When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he'd stopped a
limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop.
"All the more reason."
"No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop.
"What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"
"Bigger."
"Governor."
"Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"
"I don't know," said the cop. "But he's got the Pope driving for him."

Kristen · Jan 13, 2002

A man was hiking through a forest and was becoming very tired. Then he stumbled upon a farm that had plenty of horses. He asked the farmer if he could borrow one."Well son,"the farmer said," I can only lend you one cause all the others are working. But it is a special horse. If you want to make it go say "Praise the Lord", and if you want it to stop say "Amen". Now the man climbed on and shouted "Praise the Lord", the horse ambled along it picked up speed after a time and didn't stop. By this time the man could not remember what to say to make it stop. He saw a cliff right in front of him. Then he started to pray of course at the end of he said "Amen". The horse stopped right at the adge of the cliff. The man breathed a sigh of relief and shouted "Praise the Lord".....

Erwin · Jan 13, 2002

LOL! That is a good one!

MizDoulos · Jan 13, 2002

This is not a joke, but I thought it was funny.

When we attended our former church, there was a sign outside the door of the nursery that read:

BEHOLD, I TELL YOU A MYSTERY: WE SHALL NOT ALL SLEEP, BUT WE SHALL ALL BE CHANGED ---

(Taken from 1 Corinthians 15:51)

girl4god · Jan 27, 2002

Hey this is from my brother, it's a little long :

One day two guys , Joe and Gary are sitting in a restaurant and Joe says, ' You know, I know every single person in the world.'

Gary says,'You do not! If you do, prove it.'

So through the rest of the night, every time a person came in, they would say,"Hey Joe, how's it going,' and chat with Joe for a while.

' Big deal,' said Gary,'So you know every one who comes here. That doesn't prove anything.'

So, Joe said," Alright, pick any one in the world, and I'll prove that I know them." Gary thinks a minute, and goes-

" Alright, prove you know the Pope." Joe takes him up, and they fly to Italy, to the Vatican.

Joe says to Gary-"I'm going to go inside, and in a few minutes, I'm going to bring the Pope out onto the balcony in front with me, so that way you'll know I do know him. You should wait here. " So Joe goes inside the Vatican and a few minutes later comes out on the balcony with the Pope. As soon as Gary sees that, he passes out cold.

Joe sees, and rushes down to help his friend.He goes,"Did you faint when you saw me with the Pope? "

And Gary goes, "No, I fainted when a man came up next to me and said," Hey, who's that guy on the balcony with Joe."

MizDoulos · Jan 27, 2002

Ha! . . ."who's that guy on the balcony next to Joe"

That's funny, girl4god! Good one.

Martin · Jan 27, 2002

For any one who knows anything about English football.....

What's the difference between Derby County and the Satr of David?

The Star of David has six points.

jayebrownlee · Oct 25, 2002

How many presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?

CHANGE?!?

JagSayon · Oct 26, 2002

God, Moses and Jesus were having a game of golf. Moses teed off first and landed a few metres away from the hole. Jesus was up next. He gave a beautiful swing and the ball soared into the air and plonked itself squarely just next to the hole. Then it was God's turn. But God hit it into a water hazard. Then a frog appeared, grabbed the ball and was promptly picked up by an eagle which dropped the frog next to the hole and the frog spat the ball into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Moses to Jesus: "I hate playing golf with your Dad"

Jag

J4Jesus · Nov 9, 2005

Thats funny ( But he did also!)

J4Jesus · Nov 9, 2005

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.

They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's
that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and
home."Thats funny ( But he did also!)

Thats funny ( But so did he. He was right there with her !)

TheMainException · Nov 22, 2005

These are all so great!

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