Children

[Jupiter Drops]

When do you guys want them?


I would rather have them when I'm 40. And that's bad because you either have a real bad chance having them at that age or the kids could come out having bad mental/physical health.

Do not want.

Then again, it's not like I want children. I'm a bit depressed about this.

 

[Neve]

Yes. I would love to get married and have kids (two please).

My mother and grandmother both had surprise babies in their late thirties, and the babies were fine. (My mother had me at 38). So I'm not too concerned with my fertility based on family history.

At any rate, I would like to be married for a few years before I had kids.

 

[PetLuv]

I don't know if I want them at all.

I did at one point in time, but I now know I can't have kids so it is not something I really put much thought into anymore.

Edit - 40-ish is not all that bad, my mother was 37 for my brother and 39 for me. Barring genetic stuff with my brother we are both fine.

 

[Going Merry]

I don't have a choice.

 

[MehGuy]

I'm not sure if I want kids or not. My greatest fear is that I will be unable to love them, at least long term.

Some people are not fit to be fathers, and it would be nice if those who are not fit to be dads make sure they never have children.

 

[redblue22]

A lot of people have children because they think it will fix their marriage or make them happy. I want children, but I don't know why. I guess it is stupid because chances are pretty slim of meeting anyone who loves me anyway.

I also look at my family growing up. I pretty much got the clear message as an adult that no one is going to give a rip if I have children. My relatives never cared about me. No grandparents or anything like that. And as for what my parents said, it wasn't a hint, it was said. And some said that I should not have children because they saw me as too messed up. But then they saw me that way my whole life. Regardless, it isn't like anyone wants to be a grandparent or is going to be there, proud, happy, or any of that garbage.

I would like to be the kind of parent who doesn't do all that stuff to my kids. But like I said, time is run out for me, and I doubt anyone is going to come along for all that. I wish I could say I was jealous of the people I know or grew up with, but most all of them are in a living hell divorced and mistreating their kids. Some seem jealous of me, and that's just a sad thing to know they wish they never had their kid. I'm sure that will sit well in Jimmy's little soul.

People get divorced and tell their kids things like "we still love you, we're not divorcing you" and that just isn't true. They treat the kid different. And the kid isn't stupid. Psychologists talk about the kid misunderstandnig by thinking he was to blame. It is pretty hard for him not to think that when he was up late at night listening to them yell about how it was his fault.

But I still have this hope, which is stupid, of having all that which is good. I'll probably still want it on my deathbed.

 

[0x87a]

I want to get married and have kids as well.
I don't know. Maybe late 20s or early 30s?

 

[Ariadne_GR]

When do you guys want them?

Never.

 

[0x87a]

Never.

Aw.

 

[Keri]

I wouldn't mind biological offspring but I'm not sure I want to carry and birth them.

That sounds insensitive.
It's not. It's just a bit complicated to describe and my brain isn't working at the moment.

 

[Amber.ly]

Here was my plan at 18:
Get married young, have 5 kids before 30, enjoy being a young mom with lots of kids.

Sadly, this did not happen. I still want 5 kids, I still want to finish birthing children by 30 but the reality is that timeline is now impossible *sob*

I want children anytime. Today, tomorrow, when I'm 50. No limits and no timing demands.

 

[m.a.r.X]

I'm scared of them, TBH

But I'm willing to face my fears though if I have someone to help me out !

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I've helped raise a lot of my nieces and nephews, so children are pretty close to the last thing I want... I'm definitely okay with having 2 children, I'd prefer 1 if at all possible though; the only reason I'd have a second one is so that the first one doesn't get lonely.

The problem with that, however, is that I know I will put far more attention into the first child; as they will learn all the graces of a King.

 

[m.a.r.X]

Here was my plan at 18:
Get married young, have 5 kids before 30, enjoy being a young mom with lots of kids.

Sadly, this did not happen. I still want 5 kids, I still want to finish birthing children by 30 but the reality is that timeline is now impossible *sob*

I want children anytime. Today, tomorrow, when I'm 50. No limits and no timing demands.

5 =5
4 + 1 =5
3 + 2 =5
3 + 1 + 1 =5
2 + 2 + 1 =5
2 + 1 + 1 + 1=5
...................

 

[Amber.ly]

5 =5
4 + 1 =5
3 + 2 =5
3 + 1 + 1 =5
2 + 2 + 1 =5
2 + 1 + 1 + 1=5
...................

Smart alec

 

[Niels]

When do you guys want them?


I would rather have them when I'm 40. And that's bad because you either have a real bad chance having them at that age or the kids could come out having bad mental/physical health.

Do not want.

Then again, it's not like I want children. I'm a bit depressed about this.

Having kids while young doesn't guarantee they won't have mental or physical problems, and the risk increases only slightly when older. It sounds worse than it is. For instance, if the risk is 2% at 20 and 4% at 40, that's still quite low despite the fact that it's a 100% increase. The vast majority of children born to older parents are healthy. It also seems to me that family history would be more indicative of potential problems. Simply not being able to conceive is a more probable outcome due to advanced age.

That said, if I have kids, it will probably happen when I'm in my mid 40s. The original plan was to have them in my mid 20s, but I'd rather wait a little longer, or even not have kids, for the chance of finding a truly compatible spouse. Fortunately, the men in my family have been living past 80 in reasonably good health, so that still gives me a chance of seeing my own grandchildren and possibly even great grandchildren. Provided my future wife and I are physically able and decide to have them, of course.

 

[m.a.r.X]

Smart alec

Crunching numbers, 256 bits at a time !!

 

[Maka]

I'd like to have them someday, but first I need to find true love.

 

[Strider1002]

I was born when my mom was pushing 40 and I turned out... well... okay, point taken.

Anyway, having kids isn't like, my life's goal, but with the woman I love, I'll be happy to do it. Doesn't matter when.

 

[jaapottery]

I think about this too much maybe. I want children, but time is an issue. I am 36 and I watched my sister and her husband go through several miscarriages between 35-40. One was after 14 weeks, that was devastating. I have come to a point in my life where if in the next 2 years I am not a mother, I will start the process of fostering and/or adopting. Adoption has been on my heart for so many years I don't really remember when it started. I would rather have a husband to come along side and so on, but I know I would be able alone. That's just not ideal. I figure a stable loving home with one parent is better than bouncing around or being in an abusive home with 2. I have ask God to take this desire away if I am not meant to be a mom, but that has not happened and I don't know that it ever will.