Childcare help!

[nateboy]

I work two days a week and absolutely personally love the person who watches my four year old and five month old children.

The problem:

She has four kids and watches several others. She is pretty organized and very clean BUT I don't see her giving a lot of attention to my five month old. I asked her if she ever sits down to take a break and she said no, except to feed my child. I asked her if she ever plays with him and she said, "When he is on the blanket, he will coo and talk to me." I just worry that she is taking on too much and due to her financial situation, she won't be completely honest with me. I am SO worried when my son starts to crawl and walk. I don't think she has enough eyes to watch him at all times. Also, I would rather go to a house that is clean but looks like kids live there more. I would rather see the daycare provider concentrating more on playing with the kids and sitting down (relaxing) with them instead of cleaning all the time. That is my personality. I have friends that are that type of stay at home mom as well...constantly up and about. That is not alright with me if you are watching my child.

She has become a good friend of mine. I trust her but just don't think she can handle it. She is already ready to lose it because her ex husband stopped paying child support due to loss of job and she is in a very long distance relationship. She is not really christian.

If I wasn't so close to her personally, I would have already found another place for my children. That's the problem. I am very personable. I only became friends with her after she started watching my children.

I am happy that it's only two days a week but those two days leaving the boys is very difficult because I am not completely confident that my youngest son is getting the care he needs. Oh they did come down with ringworm because of their cats but all the kids are getting treated. YUK!.

I am on contract with my job and also HAVE to work to pay off some bills. Yes, I do take home more than enough money after travel expenses, daycare, etc... Not working is not an option at this point. Not at least for two years.

Advice?

I am thinking of having "the talk" with her today. I really have to. I know she is going through a lot but so am I when it comes to the safety, health and welfare of my children.

 

[MyaShane]

Well, you just have to go with your gut feeling. I've always had in-home child care for my kids and have dealt with situations like yours. I've had "the talks" before. Just open, honest conversations about what my expectations are, not accusations, etc. The babysitter has always been glad to get my feedback instead of me keeping it to myself and worrying or getting resentful. Too many kids would be a big concern for me! I would see it as her taking on more for the money, which is the wrong idea when it comes to taking care of kids. I don't intend on paying someone to let my kids sit around while she does other things. Not to say that other things can't or shouldn't be done, but her first priority is to the children. If you don't think that's happening, it's time to speak up - and you'll feel better getting it out in the open!