Child abuse, and Hell

[Risen Tree]

Should it be considered child abuse to tell a child that he or she may be going to Hell?

 

[stan1980]

Child abuse might be a bit strong but I suppose it is. I remember my mum telling me about hell when I was about 4/5 years old, probably to shut me up. It was probably effective for 10 minutes till the next time I was reminded where I was heading. Lazy parenting I think, but I don't know if it did any lasting damage except scare me a little bit. Whether this likely false information was beneficial or detrimental to me... who can tell?

 

[Risen Tree]

Child abuse might be a bit strong but I suppose it is. I remember my mum telling me about hell when I was about 4/5 years old, probably to shut me up. It was probably effective for 10 minutes till the next time I was reminded where I was heading. Lazy parenting I think, but I don't know if it did any lasting damage except scare me a little bit. Whether this likely false information was beneficial or detrimental to me... who can tell?

Ah, interesting, and I think you may be onto something here. I think that many parents who abuse their children do so in part because they choose not to open their minds to more effective and benevolent parenting tactics. Rather, they resort to simply overpowering the child, no matter what the effects on the child are--the seed of all child abuse.

 

[keith99]

Ah, interesting, and I think you may be onto something here. I think that many parents who abuse their children do so in part because they choose not to open their minds to more effective and benevolent parenting tactics. Rather, they resort to simply overpowering the child, no matter what the effects on the child are--the seed of all child abuse.

I think you have hit a key point. But sometimes those who push benevolent parenting forget the other side, which are the consequences of not correcting a situation quickly. Your kid walks into a busy street you physically overpower them and drag them back (Well at least if they do not come back immediatly). You do not try to reason with them.

This does have a bearing on telling children about hell. If a parent believes in hell and believes the childs actions really land the kid in hell then not telling them could well be called the worst of child abuse.

That said how many parents who make threats regarding hell either do not really believe in it or make the threats regarding actions that are trivial and would not by anyones view of things land the kid in hell? And if one really does believe and makes threats that confuse the child's view of what will and will not land the child in hell then child abuse no matter what? And if we take the view hell is real perhaps abuse of the worst possible sort as the consequences would be eternal?

 

[wanderingone]

Should it be considered child abuse to tell a child that he or she may be going to Hell?

I think that religion can be used in an emotionally abusive way, and using it as some kind of threat to get a child to behave a certain way isn't positive parenting and can end up to be very damaging.

I believe people who have a certain set of religious beliefs and impart those to their children are not usually being abusive. So if I believe that one must be "born again" in order to avoid hell and teach that understanding to my children without various threats and verbally/spiritually abusive taunts I wouldn't see that as abusive.

 

[Holy Roller]

It's society abuse when we don't discipline our children and they grow up to be street thugs.
By warning them of the danger of spending an eternity with the devil we are saving their souls. We're also raising civilized adult human beings.

 

[Bombila]

I suspect it depends greatly on the context in which a child is taught about the concept of Hell. The ministers of my early childhood certainly sermonized now and then about Hell and its denizens, but it never concerned me much because, though capable of a little naughtiness at times, I considered myself to be a 'good' child, therefore in no danger. If I'd been told I was going to Hell over spilling milk or squabbling with my little brother, then that may have been abusive - but my parents never would have believed or said such a thing.

 

[quatona]

Should it be considered child abuse to tell a child that he or she may be going to Hell?

Inflicting emotional pain on children as a part of the education is an issue that imo gets far too little attention in general.
I think if we want to start legislating against such issues we would first have to change the widely held paradigm that parents are entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
On another note, there are a lot of technical problems with legislating against emotional violence against children inflicted upon them by their parents.
Education is the key. Parents are the products of their own upbringing, and the children they bring up will be parents in the future.

 

[Holy Roller]

What's odd is the people who voted, "Yes, telling your kid he's going to hell should be made illegal" are the same people who voted against making adultery illegal in my thread. Why the hypocrisy?

 

[CreedIsChrist]

Should it be considered child abuse to tell a child that he or she may be going to Hell?

is a person who is probably for abortion really in such a position to ask a question? Pro-abortionists are in no position to make ethical decisions or moral decisions since they have no moral ground to stand on in the first place.

Yes its wrong to warn your own child about Hell just as Christ warned everyone, but its ok to kill your own unborn child if it impedes your life.

here is a clear example of liberal logic..

 

[quatona]

is a person who is probably for abortion really in such a position to ask a question? Pro-abortionists are in no position to make ethical decisions or moral decisions since they have no moral ground to stand on in the first place.

Yes its wrong to warn your own child about Hell just as Christ warned everyone, but its ok to kill your own unborn child if it impedes your life.

here is a clear example of liberal logic..

And if a person who is against abortion would ask this question - would you find yourself able and willing to answer it?

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

I would vote - except you didn't specify what age the child is.

It is my understanding and belief that children under the age of accountability do not go to Hell. The exact age of accountability is unknown - and likely varies, it's more of a comprehension-measure. For speculative purposes only, I would surmise it to be anywhere from around 13 to 21, depending upon the maturity of the person.

I don't have any problem with children being taught the concept of belief and the consequence of unbelief - which is eternal separation from God. I do have a problem with hinging it on behavior, or using it as a disciplinary tool.

That said, I don't think that it is child abuse.

 

[cantata]

I don't think merely considering it child abuse can possibly infringe on parents' rights.

The poll should have an option which simply says "No, it isn't child abuse."

For the moment, I will refrain from giving my opinion.

 

[feral]

Teaching children your religious beliefs through age-appropriate dialog and lessons is probably not abusive, especially if you use terms like "I think" and "I believe" that allow the child some free rein to investigate matters for themselves. IBullying and threatening are abusive, conversations and discussions are not.

It's society abuse when we don't discipline our children and they grow up to be street thugs.
By warning them of the danger of spending an eternity with the devil we are saving their souls. We're also raising civilized adult human beings.

It certainly is problematic when parents refuse to discipline their children and encourage them toward criminal behaviour. But why would you think a child not threatened with hell would become a "street thug"?

 

[MuidSaoirse]

It's society abuse when we don't discipline our children and they grow up to be street thugs.
By warning them of the danger of spending an eternity with the devil we are saving their souls. We're also raising civilized adult human beings.

This response made me laugh abit at the sheer arrogance and dogmatic approach.
When you imprint on a child's mind notions of a God of terror, hellfire and brimstone as the primary focus you raise the odds of the child in later life rejecting the very God you purport to be truth.
Therewithin lie the odds of street thugs (ahaha that terminology made me laugh also) who have only heard of a vicious, vindictive God with Hell His top priority for those who are imperfect and screwed up
To tell kids Hell awaits them is definitely a form of abuse if presented in a non loving and non real manner and not clarified as to what love and Gods love means.
We should flood children with positives - a civilized (as you put it) adult would not inflict mind bending dogma on a child. Context is important... developmental years shape future beliefs and reactions.

 

[quatona]

Should it be considered child abuse to tell a child that he or she may be going to Hell?

You´ll be going to Hell if you do.

 

[StarCannon]

Tell them a lie long enough and loud enough and they'll believe it.

Hell is a lie, and thus should not be told to children.

 

[Risen Tree]

Inflicting emotional pain on children as a part of the education is an issue that imo gets far too little attention in general.
I think if we want to start legislating against such issues we would first have to change the widely held paradigm that parents are entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
On another note, there are a lot of technical problems with legislating against emotional violence against children inflicted upon them by their parents.
Education is the key. Parents are the products of their own upbringing, and the children they bring up will be parents in the future.

Ah, great call. I think that it's important to not just round up abusive parents and send them all to jail--although if worst comes to worst.... Anyway, I've long believed that their should be very very basic, state-mandated classes that future parents should be required to pass. They should have to understand basic concepts such as managing their own selves, practicing proactive discipline, and not imposing hateful values.

What's odd is the people who voted, "Yes, telling your kid he's going to hell should be made illegal" are the same people who voted against making adultery illegal in my thread. Why the hypocrisy?

You mean, paradox. And stances on morality are filled with them, such as the fact that people who are anti-abortion tend to be softer on child abuse.

is a person who is probably for abortion really in such a position to ask a question? Pro-abortionists are in no position to make ethical decisions or moral decisions since they have no moral ground to stand on in the first place.

Yes its wrong to warn your own child about Hell just as Christ warned everyone, but its ok to kill your own unborn child if it impedes your life.

here is a clear example of liberal logic..

This comment is off-topic and will not be addressed.

I would vote - except you didn't specify what age the child is.

It is my understanding and belief that children under the age of accountability do not go to Hell. The exact age of accountability is unknown - and likely varies, it's more of a comprehension-measure. For speculative purposes only, I would surmise it to be anywhere from around 13 to 21, depending upon the maturity of the person.

I don't have any problem with children being taught the concept of belief and the consequence of unbelief - which is eternal separation from God. I do have a problem with hinging it on behavior, or using it as a disciplinary tool.

That said, I don't think that it is child abuse.

Fair enough. Under 18.

Tell them a lie long enough and loud enough and they'll believe it.

Hell is a lie, and thus should not be told to children.

Ah, fascinating point. It all comes down to whether parents think they have the right to lie to their kids--and I'm not talking the white lies that are occasionally necessary, but lies simply used to overpower the child.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Tell them a lie long enough and loud enough and they'll believe it.

Hell is a lie, and thus should not be told to children.

Are you advocating that parents should not be allowed to raise their children under whatever belief system they have, simply because others feel it is untrue?

Does that mean that it is your opinion that homosexual couples who have adopted should not be allowed to raise their children to believe that homosexuality is good and is not a choice (opinions held by many on this site), simply because other people disagree and believe this to be a lie?
Or Buddhists, Muslims, Wiccans, etc. should not be allowed to teach their children their beliefs?

I believe that Hell is real. I teach my children that Hell is real. I teach my children my beliefs in Christ and how I believe we are to treat other people. I don't threaten them with Hell - that's crossing a line that no human has the right to cross, imo.

My children, the older ones who have lived through it, are aware of the long road it took to reach my beliefs. My youngest, who is 3, will be raised in a Christian home - but he will also be told of my journey. I don't believe in making them ignorant of other beliefs (as a matter of fact we have a kids' book that I have had for about 10 years now that specifically talks about various religions), but I do teach them that Christ is the only way to God.

My oldest son, 24, was raised by an atheist/agnostic - namely me. He doesn't believe - I don't denigrate him for that, nor do I tell him he is going to Hell. I do tell him about my own beliefs - when he wants to talk about it, not as a chastisement.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding the question. I don't think it is child abuse for anyone to teach their children their beliefs - whether I think they are wrong or not. I DO think it is child abuse to use those beliefs to denigrate them ("you are an evil child, you are going to Hell for doing that") or as a tool of discipline.

I guess my basic problem with the question is that I can't fathom doing that in the first place. Yes, I believe in Hell and teach my beliefs to my kids. But I also teach them love, respect, honesty and that no-one is unworthy - and that the working of the Holy Spirit is what draws people to God - not the threat of Hell. Holding that over MY head never worked - I wouldn't presume to think it would with anyone else either.

Sorry if this got long and rambling - I was trying to talk to someone and type this post at the same time.

 

[Risen Tree]

Are you advocating that parents should not be allowed to raise their children under whatever belief system they have, simply because others feel it is untrue?

Does that mean that it is your opinion that homosexual couples who have adopted should not be allowed to raise their children to believe that homosexuality is good and is not a choice (opinions held by many on this site), simply because other people disagree and believe this to be a lie?
Or Buddhists, Muslims, Wiccans, etc. should not be allowed to teach their children their beliefs?

I believe that Hell is real. I teach my children that Hell is real. I teach my children my beliefs in Christ and how I believe we are to treat other people. I don't threaten them with Hell - that's crossing a line that no human has the right to cross, imo.

My children, the older ones who have lived through it, are aware of the long road it took to reach my beliefs. My youngest, who is 3, will be raised in a Christian home - but he will also be told of my journey. I don't believe in making them ignorant of other beliefs (as a matter of fact we have a kids' book that I have had for about 10 years now that specifically talks about various religions), but I do teach them that Christ is the only way to God.

My oldest son, 24, was raised by an atheist/agnostic - namely me. He doesn't believe - I don't denigrate him for that, nor do I tell him he is going to Hell. I do tell him about my own beliefs - when he wants to talk about it, not as a chastisement.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding the question. I don't think it is child abuse for anyone to teach their children their beliefs - whether I think they are wrong or not. I DO think it is child abuse to use those beliefs to denigrate them ("you are an evil child, you are going to Hell for doing that") or as a tool of discipline.

I guess my basic problem with the question is that I can't fathom doing that in the first place. Yes, I believe in Hell and teach my beliefs to my kids. But I also teach them love, respect, honesty and that no-one is unworthy - and that the working of the Holy Spirit is what draws people to God - not the threat of Hell. Holding that over MY head never worked - I wouldn't presume to think it would with anyone else either.

Sorry if this got long and rambling - I was trying to talk to someone and type this post at the same time.

You're willing to force on your children something you know could very well be a lie?