Charity vs. Enabling

[LovebirdsFlying]

I've talked about this before, but I don't think I've done it in this forum, and I want to get input from non-Christians too.

My husband is a bus driver, and an experience he had the other day brought it to my mind. He often has people try to scam him for a free ride, and he's been doing this for over thirty years, so he's seen just about every trick there is. They may show him a bus pass, then try to slip it discreetly into the hand of the next person in line, thinking he didn't see them do it. That way, they're hoping more than one person can ride for the price of one bus pass. Or, they show him a long expired pass and get angry when he tells them it won't work. Or, a mother will have a child with her who is obviously at least ten years old, but she'll insist he's five, and she shouldn't have to pay a fare for him. He sees constant attempts at such scams.

So the other day, a passenger tried to get on and demand a free ride. When my husband insisted on either a pass, or paying a cash fare, the passenger accused him of not being a good Christian. A good Christian, says the passenger, would let a guy ride for free. (Incidentally, my husband states that he doesn't remember seeing this passenger before, and has no idea how the passenger would even know he claims to be one.)

There *are* cases in which it would be proper to give a courtesy ride, as it's called, but that's only in emergencies. The case can be made that how does the driver really know whether it's a scam or a true emergency? He could ask questions, but then those questions are really none of his business, are they?

I've seen it before, this notion that it's not our place to determine if someone really needs help or not. Jesus didn't run drug tests on everybody before he fed the 5,000, so therefore as Christians, we're obligated to just shut up and fork it over rather than worrying about whether or not that person deserves help.

So... are we really called to be pushovers, easily letting others take advantage of us? Is that what charity is all about?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Do what the boss says.

Whoever you work for, it is their decision.

Many multitudes have always been 'taking advantage' of JESUS.

He only did what His Father said to do - it did not depend on any hard luck story or circumstances.

Of course, remember, HE gave MORE than anyone could ever ask or hope for !

And HE said, if anyone tries to steal your motorcycle, give him your helmet also !
('slight' paraphrase there)

So... are we really called to be pushovers, easily letting others take advantage of us? Is that what charity is all about?

 

[Tull]

When my husband insisted on either a pass, or paying a cash fare, the passenger accused him of not being a good Christian. A good Christian, says the passenger, would let a guy ride for free.

A good Christian is not charitable with other people's money,he would take the money out of his own pocket and pay the fare,its highly unlikely that any of us will stand before God and have him say well Bob I see that you were very generous with Franks money.....now what about yours ?

 

[John Hyperspace]

I suppose I'm probably guilty of being too empathic in such a regard. I've had people "scam" me a lot, and I immediately recognized the scam, but simply smiled and went along with it. Many times I'll simply say, you don't have to lie, just tell me, and I will help however I can.

To me, someone who is scamming is, someone generally in need, and afraid/ashamed to ask for help. But, to each his own in this regard, I suppose.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

So... are we really called to be pushovers, easily letting others take advantage of us? Is that what charity is all about?

I have this dilemma every day. To live in this world is to survive and not be taken advantage of. To live a Christian life is to be sensitive to others needs. I feel like Jekyl and Hyde sometimes.

 

[dogs4thewin]

We are not called to allow people to abuse us ( in the money sense or any sense for that matter. There is nothing wrong with having an issue with people who scam the system. I am disabled and HATE it when people abuse the disability system, for example. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Other times there may be ways of requiring them to prove the need.

 

[dogs4thewin]

I have this dilemma every day. To live in this world is to survive and not be taken advantage of. To live a Christian life is to be sensitive to others needs. I feel like Jekyl and Hyde sometimes.

but that does not mean we allow people to walk all over us.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

We are not called to allow people to abuse us ( in the money sense or any sense for that matter.

If Jesus were to take that approach, he would not have let Himself be tortured and crucified?
But I know what you're saying...

 

[dogs4thewin]

If Jesus were to take that approach, he would not have let Himself be tortured and crucified?
But I know what you're saying...

Jesus did not tell us to allow ourselves to be abused to allow people to take from us and use us. I fact, he expects people to work and provide for themselves.

 

[jimmyjimmy]

A good Christian is not charitable with other people's money,he would take the money out of his own pocket and pay the fare,its highly unlikely that any of us will stand before God and have him say well Bob I see that you were very generous with Franks money.....now what about yours ?

Oh how I wish every Progressive Christian would understand what you have posted above.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

. In fact, he expects people to work and provide for themselves.

and provide for others too......

 

[com7fy8]

Which of us has deserved anything of what God has done for us?

 

[Tull]

and provide for others too......

Others who CANNOT provide for themselves

 

[dogs4thewin]

and provide for others too......

Yes, if they NEED help.

 

[dogs4thewin]

Which of us has deserved anything of what God has done for us?

none does that mean we allow people to abuse us?

 

[dogs4thewin]

Others who CANNOT provide for themselves

or are providing for themselves with an honest effort and coming up short.

 

[Tull]

Which of us has deserved anything of what God has done for us?

What does that have to do with anything ? we are talking about a society where at least the same number of people have to be on one side of the see saw as the other

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

In my opinion, there are times when Jesus expects us to just stand there and take abuse. Verbal abuse I mean mainly. The person abusing you may be in no fit state for you to be "assertive". Their pain is so great, that there is a bigger issue at hand. They need your stillness, your ability to listen deeply.
Later of course, you could bring up the time that they spoke abusively to you.
Look how much abuse hospital staff and police get.

 

[Tull]

or are providing for themselves with an honest effort and coming up short.

And a thriving economy with good jobs goes a long way in solving that.

 

[dogs4thewin]

And a thriving economy with good jobs goes a long way in solving that.

It does, but the fact is that such is not always the case.