changing yourself

[savvy]

Do you think that a personality is something ingrained or that you can change yourself?
Is who you are genetic? Is it your experiences? Is it possible to be a different kind of person?
I have been reading an author who was saying that we are never the same person we were the day before, and I think that is sort of true...I like the idea that if you don't like who you are you could change...
but I don't know. I have been a bit down lately. There are things I really don't like about myself, but even when I try to work on them, I always feel like I can't really change the way I am.
What do you do when you aren't satisfied with yourself?

 

[Eudaimonist]

Do you think that a personality is something ingrained or that you can change yourself?

A little of both. There is research that suggests a correlation between genes and certain personality traits. However, I don't know of any research that shows that we are unable to change our personalities at all, and plenty of personal experience suggests that at least some change is possible.

What I suspect is that we have a natural temperament that we gravitate towards, but we also can deviate from that through effort, habit, and personal growth. It's a complex issue.

What do you do when you aren't satisfied with yourself?

First, know thyself. I ponder the reasons for the dissatisfaction.

Next, improve thyself. If there is something I haven't been doing that I realize I should, I try to do that. For instance, I may want to improve my habits. I might read a self-help book to give myself ideas on how to go about that.

Also, I work on my motivations. I seek reasons to want to change. I stoke the desire to change by looking at the big picture of my life and understanding how important the change is. I suspect that losing the desire to change is often a result of short-sightedness.

 

[meebs]

Do you think that a personality is something ingrained or that you can change yourself?
Is who you are genetic? Is it your experiences? Is it possible to be a different kind of person?
I have been reading an author who was saying that we are never the same person we were the day before, and I think that is sort of true...I like the idea that if you don't like who you are you could change...
but I don't know. I have been a bit down lately. There are things I really don't like about myself, but even when I try to work on them, I always feel like I can't really change the way I am.
What do you do when you aren't satisfied with yourself?

i think, that a person can never fully change themself, that the essence of who you are stays the same.
But hey just cos your down and things are not going right doesnt mean you should try to "cahnge" who you are. one thing that bugs me is perfectly fine people want to change themselvses because things arent going great.

im having a bad time, im a lonely person but i wouldnt want to change me (just my bad temper and impatiance and a bit door-mat -y) but not the essense of me. im sure i will find the freinds and family i want who will appreciate who i am.

and whatever the situ is for you, you'll be fine.

though saying this there is an old freind of mine (who now hates my guts cos somebody lied to her and said i bad mouthed her) who seems to have changed completely. she seems nice now, but she was just as nice before but with no sense of humor. i dunno maybe she "grew" up. i dont think i ever fully want to

 

[Morallyangelic]

I absolutely think you can change the ' core ' of who you are.

Take for example : Say your a person who trusts easily, smiles alot, walks with their head high due to a level of confidence and then you are walking down the street one day and a man pulls you into a car and keeps you captive all day while threatning your life and you somehow manage to escape. That traumatic event is seriously going to affect the way you think about the world, the way you feel inside, the way you treat with other people or interact with them.

You could argue this from many different angles ... Let's say you believe that alcoholism is a genetic disease ... Are all people with alcholic family members alcoholics?

I think we have the power ( with Jesus ) to change anything we want about who we REALLY are. If you really want to change I absolutely believe you will and can.

Mind over matter.

Just my own personal opinion.

Hope your feeling better soon - God Bless.

 

[Verv]

changing oneself... being oneself... It is simply a matter of following your heart and doing what you want, and being honest. Sometimes honesty is the key, and you are honest, because you said:
"There are things I really don't like about myself, but even when I try to work on them, I always feel like I can't really change the way I am."

True. Same here. But we recognize ourselves, and are honest enough to know faults, and when we can start seeing things from the broader perspective of who we are we can make strides to fixing them.

If you have problemswith the way you treat people, it is bes tto think of yourself as that person, and if you have problems with your behavior in general (addiction to a bad thing), think of the people who are harmed by it and their perspective.

Broadening mental horizons is a step to change.

 

[elman]

Do you think that a personality is something ingrained or that you can change yourself?
Is who you are genetic? Is it your experiences? Is it possible to be a different kind of person?
I have been reading an author who was saying that we are never the same person we were the day before, and I think that is sort of true...I like the idea that if you don't like who you are you could change...
but I don't know. I have been a bit down lately. There are things I really don't like about myself, but even when I try to work on them, I always feel like I can't really change the way I am.
What do you do when you aren't satisfied with yourself?

You can change yourself by focusing on someone else and their need. Our genetics can influence us but they do not control us.

 

[savvy]

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone.
I think I'm just...disappointed with people, and myself. I don't have many friends, I don't date...I don't think I'm very good at being sociable and I feel like I'm missing out sometimes, but it is just hard for me to make connections with people I guess...I'm not sure how I should even go about trying to change that in myself. I've been trying to look at the bright side of everything and believe in people, then I see idiots that do terrible things and don't give a **** and how everyone keeps dehumanizing others...ah, I'm rambling now.

 

[Moros]

Anton Lavey, for all his silliness, had a reasonable observation with: "man is the only creature that can modify his nature, but when he chooses to do so, he is called a phony."

 

[AFallingStar]

Is who you are genetic? Is it your experiences? Is it possible to be a different kind of person?

I've tried to figure out that question a lot. How do you really know who you are? There's no set of guidelines that determine what makes a person who they are. I mean, what I'm trying to say is that personality helps determine how you act, but is there something deeper that actually comprises who you are?

 

[meebs]

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone.
I think I'm just...disappointed with people, and myself. I don't have many friends, I don't date...I don't think I'm very good at being sociable and I feel like I'm missing out sometimes, but it is just hard for me to make connections with people I guess...I'm not sure how I should even go about trying to change that in myself. I've been trying to look at the bright side of everything and believe in people, then I see idiots that do terrible things and don't give a **** and how everyone keeps dehumanizing others...ah, I'm rambling now.

well in this case you are not alone. metaphorically i mean, we're in seperate countires

 

[meebs]

and im i the only person in the world who knows who i am and what i want? anyway, Savvy, you sound like a caring person (girl? i get the impression from your profile you are ). Thats one of the positive things to look to, as long as you dont become a doormat (im trying to get rid of that attribute with out becoming nasty).

 

[savvy]

and im i the only person in the world who knows who i am and what i want? anyway, Savvy, you sound like a caring person (girl? i get the impression from your profile you are ). Thats one of the positive things to look to, as long as you dont become a doormat (im trying to get rid of that attribute with out becoming nasty).

If you know exactly who you are and what you want, you are one lucky person! I doubt whether we can ever really know about ourselves...
I am happily far from being a doormat, as far as I can tell. In fact I figure I must have some sort of signal yelling at people to leave me alone...but I've perked up a bit I guess.
anywho, yeah I'm female, but I don't like putting age and sex in profiles, it contributes nothing to the discussion, and because a lot of people on messageboards will sometimes jump on that and say people can't contribute much to a conversation because they are too young/too old to understand, or various nonsense based on things other than the responses given.

 

[xAtheistx]

Everybody has issues.

There are two ways of solving problems:
You change the situation, or you change your viewpoint.

If you can't do one, do the other.