Changing someone else

[JimBeta]

We can not change someone else.
We can barely change ourself.

 

[Shempster]

Isn't that sort of self-worship?
In other words, when you try and change someone, isn't that like saying "you need to be like ME"?

 

[JimBeta]

Isn't that sort of self-worship?
In other words, when you try and change someone, isn't that like saying "you need to be like ME"?

no because then you do not look at others, but at yourself.

 

[Shempster]

no because then you do not look at others, but at yourself.

Well, what I mean is, why would we want to change someone else? Isn't it because we disagree with some facet of their lives? If we want to change them, then there is something we don't like that they do, right? And if it is something we don't like, then it is contrary to what we think is right and we object, thus we debate them and/or manipulate them to get them to change.
But think about this...(just an analogy) let's say someone you know suddenly becomes a vegetarian. And each time they see you, they would make comments about eating meat. Asking you questions...what did you eat today?
After a while, you will certainly tire of that because you have no intention of not eating meat no matter what. But think about it from their vantage point: they see eating meat as torture and murder of the animals God created. Maybe you don't. That's fine, but if their motive to change you is out of love and compassion, then that should be respected.
So I guess if the motive to try and change someone else is out of love and compassion, then it's cool to just listen and try to understand. We are not obligated to change for anyone, but we should be honest with ourselves that maybe it is we who need to change.

 

[JimBeta]

What if you find someone who believes something heretic in your opinion. Do you gonna let him speak or are you going to speak against him?

 

[JimBeta]

Well, what I mean is, why would we want to change someone else? Isn't it because we disagree with some facet of their lives? If we want to change them, then there is something we don't like that they do, right? And if it is something we don't like, then it is contrary to what we think is right and we object, thus we debate them and/or manipulate them to get them to change.
But think about this...(just an analogy) let's say someone you know suddenly becomes a vegetarian. And each time they see you, they would make comments about eating meat. Asking you questions...what did you eat today?
After a while, you will certainly tire of that because you have no intention of not eating meat no matter what. But think about it from their vantage point: they see eating meat as torture and murder of the animals God created. Maybe you don't. That's fine, but if their motive to change you is out of love and compassion, then that should be respected.
So I guess if the motive to try and change someone else is out of love and compassion, then it's cool to just listen and try to understand. We are not obligated to change for anyone, but we should be honest with ourselves that maybe it is we who need to change.

What if you find someone who believes something heretic in your opinion. Do you gonna let him speak or are you going to speak against him?

 

[dysert]

We can not change someone else.
We can barely change ourself.

I totally agree, and many people never come to that realization. If you spend your life trying to change others I think you'll live a life of frustration.

 

[dayhiker]

exactly .. we can't change others. One of the most frustrating things in the world is to try and change someone else.

 

[Shempster]

What if you find someone who believes something heretic in your opinion. Do you gonna let him speak or are you going to speak against him?

Probably not. I suspect my opinions are best, but I do not think of them as absolute facts, so I don't push them on others.
Sometimes a nice discussion between curious people is fine, but doctrinal debates only lead to strife and anger.
So chances are I would let them speak if they pushed it on me, but I'm not sure I would want a fight. I don't know, in a way it just seems rather pretentious to attack others for having a different perspective.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

We can not change someone else.
We can barely change ourself.

This is true. But sometimes the World wants to grapple with a Christian and try to stab its steely talons into his or her soul, if possible, and it's then that the Christian may decide to refuse to be influenced further by the Devil ...

 

[The Gryphon]

Only Yeshua (Jesus) has the power to truly change anyone in an instant. Oh, we can put on a mask and try to hide but we can't truly change who we really are; a sinner stained by what we have done in the sight of G_d.