Caring for an elderly parent

[tams67]

Is there anyone her that has a parent they are caring for or living int he same home with them, because they are no longer able to care for themselves? I have an elderly mother that lives with me. she is not long able to live alone and care for herself. she is totally dependant on me and my two kids to see she is cared for. Sometimes I just want to run away. I thought this would be a good place for us to vent. Anyone else?

 

[tapero]

Hi, I don't have a parent I care for with me, but I cared for my grandmother and I got very ill. She wasn't even totally dependent on me. Hospice helped afterwards. My brother kept telling me that I needed support, but I didn't understand or think about it. He was right. You need supports and breaks, you time. Can anyone help you at all, and give you time away for yourself?

Bless you hon, Tapero

 

[tams67]

I have a brother who helps when he can. He is a very busy person, but he is there when I need him. You mentioned you became sick when you cared for your grandmother. Well in the past 8 years since I have been caring for my mother I have been diagnoised with a bad thyroid, high blood pressure, & diabetes. I don't want to say it's moms fault but to be honest sometimes I think how would I be if I didn't have this responsibility. Oh and we can't forget the doctor has said I may also be bi-polar. We don't really have any support groups where I live, you have to either deal with it yourself or go online like I have. I know God is there and he is watching over me but yes sometimes I just need a break. Anyway thanks for listening

 

[ArielHosanna]

Hi, I live at home with my elderly parents, and so I know how providing care to them can sometimes feel like a part-time (and some days full-time!) job in itself. I hope that you're setting time aside for yourself despite your caregiving responsibilities. Please feel free to PM if you'd like. God bless!

 

[tams67]

Hi, I live at home with my elderly parents, and so I know how providing care to them can sometimes feel like a part-time (and some days full-time!) job in itself. I hope that you're setting time aside for yourself despite your caregiving responsibilities. Please feel free to PM if you'd like. God bless!

eirene,
thanks I added you to my buddy list. I didn't mention besides caring for my mother I have two kids and I also work outside the home full time. So I stay busy. It would be nice to talk with some one.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Check with Medicare and Mental Health Agencies--(sometimes you got to be the squeaky wheel) for RESPITE CARE.

Home Health is an option. When my late husband had cancer, I was lucky to have a daughter in law who was a "system worker", things I had been trying to get for months, she was able to do in a week--Sometimes all you need is the right contact, (like the right clerk at Wal-Mart) to help you. It's sad, but so.

Don't give up. Ask your church members, anybody--it's like looking for a job--relief comes easier if you are networked.

Prayers.

 

[Amin]

My mother was in a nursing home for four years.
I still felt as tho i had to take care of her.
I'd go see her every day, and always had to take care of things the staff would forget.
Chuck.

 

[UnitynLove]

Praying for you sister! Amen.

 

[inchristsblood]

Best thing to do is get a sitter for her so you and your family can get out sometimes. I've found this to be a great help in our situation.

 

[BibleSender]

Hi, My name is Tom and I took care of my Mother for almost 2 years.

The only help I had was when the Hospice volunteer came for 2 hours so I could go shopping.

2 mos. after my Mother passed I had a heart attack , a triple bypass, and a stroke. I don't know if it had anything to do with it but the Hospice nurse had worned me about the stress.

I don't regret it at all. I can still hear her say "Tom, I don't know what I would do without you." I could never have made up for the things she has done for me.

You have my prayers.
Best Regards,Tom

 

[UnitynLove]

Hi, My name is Tom and I took care of my Mother for almost 2 years.

The only help I had was when the Hospice volunteer came for 2 hours so I could go shopping.

2 mos. after my Mother passed I had a heart attack , a triple bypass, and a stroke. I don't know if it had anything to do with it but the Hospice nurse had worned me about the stress.

I don't regret it at all. I can still hear her say "Tom, I don't know what I would do without you." I could never have made up for the things she has done for me.

You have my prayers.
Best Regards,Tom

Nice post.

 

[gloryseven]

Hi Tams67- I will lift you up in prayer. I was a homehealth aide/certified nurse assistant for many years and I know the toil it takes physically and emotinally. I will pray for God to renew your strength and your spirit. Loving Lord Jesus, thank you for people like tams67 who are doing all they can for their loved ones. Lord, you see her sacrifice of her time and health and Lord, please comfort, strengthen and renew her spirit. Lord, bless her mom and help her as well. Bless this family and give them comfort and blessings. amen.

 

[Romans55]

My mother is now dead, but My sister and i and my boys cared for her while she was sick about 4 years, yes it was hard, stressful, and time consuming
but now she has been gone for 7 years and I would do it all again, just to have her back.
If you wantto talk and vent, Im here, I understand!!!
hugs
sandi

 

[tams67]

Please continue to keep me in your prayers. mom is in the hospital right now due to her chf but she will be home tomorrow. I am just feeling very alone and I guess really sorry for myself. I feel so alone right now. plase just keep praying

 

[lavenderskies]

I will be praying for you and for your mother and children. If you would like to pm me and tell me the area you are in perhaps I can try to find some support groups or help for you.

 

[meskinn]

My father is 83 and suffering from Alzheimer's disease. And my mother is 70 and both are totally dependant on me and practically I have no life and ambitions of my own. For a long time I had mixed emotions of frustration, self-pity, guilt and depression. I have no other close relative to support and help me in times of need and I keep asking God why He had let me carry all this burden all by myself. At first I was frustrated and felt like a total helpless victim of fate. But little by little I have come to accept the way it is.

Lord Jesus never promised us a trouble-free life but he has promised to be with us through it all. And to be honest although at times the furnace has been too unbearably hot (and the future will surely be worse in my case) but I admit that God has taught me many things in all this.

The Bible teaches us to respect and love our parents. Maybe this is the minimum that we can do to help and minister to our nearest "neighbour" whom we have been admonished to help and feed.

God bless you all who are going through the same thing. And let's make life easier by seeing it as a chance to minister to other human beings. When we are caring for these helpless people indeed we are doing this all to Christ himself.

I will pray for you too.

 

[Biblewriter]

Five years ago I had to stop working because I could not breathe on the job. AT about the same time my mother went blind. So we moved in together, after my being gone for 30+ years.

Three years later I got married and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. My wife, a legal immigrant from Brazil, assumed the care for my mother. I have two brothers willing to help, but their wives are less that enthusiastic, so my mother spends most of her time with us.

My wife thinks she will die before my mother does, and I sometimes fear she is right. My mother nearly drives her crazy. And the brunt of all the work falls on my wife. I cannot give intimate care, and the rest of the family lives far away.

We need a vacation, but all available care that we know about costs more than a hundred dollars a day.

 

[InTheCloud]

Since my father died for cancer i have cared for my mother who has a very rare form of dementia. She has been in bed for 5 years and she barely cant talk or eat. It have been 4 lonely and emotionaly draininig years for me to see such a powerfull woman slowly fade away, physicaly and mentaly. Is realy though on me.

 

[rushingwind62]

Is there anyone her that has a parent they are caring for or living int he same home with them, because they are no longer able to care for themselves? I have an elderly mother that lives with me. she is not long able to live alone and care for herself. she is totally dependant on me and my two kids to see she is cared for. Sometimes I just want to run away. I thought this would be a good place for us to vent. Anyone else?

I lived with and took care of my dad 4 years before he passed away. Yes, it is very difficult and at times I too wanted to run away. But I didn't and I am glad I didn't. When all is said and done it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do. Knowing you were there for them to help in their difficulties and illness helps prepare you for the inevitable. At least it did me. But like I said it is very hard because at times you feel you are stuck in a grieving process before death ever comes. At times you may even get a little resentful because you know you are laying your life down for your loved one. Caregivers struggle with all kind of things. All I can say is that when I was there at my dad's side when he passed, I had nothing to feel guilty about and it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I will do it again with my mom when the time comes.

 

[inmercysgrasp]

I think that it is great that you care for your elderly parents so. It is such a great blessing to give, and to receive