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Can't Stop Grieving Past Sins

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Hi. My name is Lindsey and I'm 20 years old now. I was saved when I was 18. Before I was a Christian, I was pretty loose in my morals. I lied, cheated, committed lots of sexual sin. I didn't grow up in a Christian household, so these things were not considered to be wrong. I was generally an all around selfish person. In many ways, I still am, but God and I are working on that.

My question here stems from the fact that I am in a relationship with the man of my dreams. He is an incredibly strong Christian man. But, he grew up in the church. And he has a much cleaner past than I do.

I have been experiencing an incredible amount of guilt over my past sins, particularly the sexual ones as our wedding approaches. Sometimes I just sit and cry as an overwhelming sadness fills my spirit. My heart is broken as I consider all that I have lost.

Does anyone have any advice? Helpful scripture? Encouragement?
 

TillICollapse

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What do you think will help you not to grieve your past like this ? What I mean is ... if you are grieving in your heart, and there is that sadness, a brokenness that is in sorrow ... what is it you see in your heart when you look there, that is crying out and yearning ... what is it yearning and crying out for ? What is it you'd like to give it, if you could give it something to make it stop grieving ?
 
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graciesings

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I understand. My past just about kills me! All I can say is that the only way to stop grieving over past sins is to move on and focus on really serving God in you're current life, and dedicating every minute to prayer or service. Stay busy doing what God is asking you to do, and it will leave you less time for thinking about the past.
 
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Shiranui117

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Hi. My name is Lindsey and I'm 20 years old now. I was saved when I was 18. Before I was a Christian, I was pretty loose in my morals. I lied, cheated, committed lots of sexual sin. I didn't grow up in a Christian household, so these things were not considered to be wrong. I was generally an all around selfish person. In many ways, I still am, but God and I are working on that.

My question here stems from the fact that I am in a relationship with the man of my dreams. He is an incredibly strong Christian man. But, he grew up in the church. And he has a much cleaner past than I do.

I have been experiencing an incredible amount of guilt over my past sins, particularly the sexual ones as our wedding approaches. Sometimes I just sit and cry as an overwhelming sadness fills my spirit. My heart is broken as I consider all that I have lost.

Does anyone have any advice? Helpful scripture? Encouragement?
Grieving for your sins is good; continual repentance over sins from long ago is a great aid in humility and in avoiding committing the same sins in the future. It draws you closer to God and makes you more open to His molding. But don't despair over your sins! Despair is never good; that will drag us down away from God and into the pits of death. (Trust me, I've been there.)

Don't worry about comparing yourself to your fiance; remember that there is more joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 sinners who needed no repentance, and that it was the prodigal son for whom the fattened calf was slain and a great feast was held. Those who come in at the eleventh hour receive the same reward as those who have been toiling from the first.

Have you broached the subject of your past with your fiance yet? It may be good to get that off your chest, and once it's out there, if he is the kind of man you describe, he will forgive you and love you more because of it. You clearly love him very much and regret your former life, and he should no doubt recognize those two very important facts.
 
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emilie mayer

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Jesus took all your sins to the cross. Once you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior then ALL OF YOUR SINS HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN. I to have faced guilt and remorse for my sins. But once you realise how much God loves you and how forgiven you are then the guilt will lesson, because God has forgiven your sins because of what Jesus did on the cross you need to forgive yourself. Be honest with your finance about your past. Like you said he grew up in a christian home so im sure he will forgive you because God tells us to forgive because He forgave us.
 
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AfanofJesus

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Hi. My name is Lindsey and I'm 20 years old now. I was saved when I was 18. Before I was a Christian, I was pretty loose in my morals. I lied, cheated, committed lots of sexual sin. I didn't grow up in a Christian household, so these things were not considered to be wrong. I was generally an all around selfish person. In many ways, I still am, but God and I are working on that.

My question here stems from the fact that I am in a relationship with the man of my dreams. He is an incredibly strong Christian man. But, he grew up in the church. And he has a much cleaner past than I do.

I have been experiencing an incredible amount of guilt over my past sins, particularly the sexual ones as our wedding approaches. Sometimes I just sit and cry as an overwhelming sadness fills my spirit. My heart is broken as I consider all that I have lost.

Does anyone have any advice? Helpful scripture? Encouragement?

All the others pretty much said it all. How have you been doing the last days now? Did you find what you were looking for here? I will pray for you. May God bless you!

The only thing I could think of to add was two passages from scripture, one that just popped up as the bible verse of today and one chosen:

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:3-6 NIV)

"14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:14-17 NIV)
 
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EazyMack

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The enemy condemns you. Since he lost the bid for your soul, he now wants to keep you from living out your life's purpose. He will keep you bound up in guilt, but that's exactly what Jesus died to set you free from! :)

Galatians 2:20 said:
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
 
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halo888

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I did grow up in the church, and have done things that I don't care to mention. :sigh:

Is it guilt or shame?
I don't have enough posts yet to post the link lol, so try googling "defeating guilt and shame great bible study" (I need to bookmark this myself!)

Guilt and godly sorrow are good things because they bring us to repentance, happen when our hearts are tender and help us to not repeat the behavior.

But if you're no longer engaging in the behavior, which it doesn't sound like you are, Satan can come in and play up our guilt, turning it into shame. Satan uses shame to make us feel like we can't go to God, and it builds a wall between us and God. Shame is not of God, and He doesn't want us to dwell on shameful behavior!

If a person did something against you, you wouldn't constantly relive it, would you? In the same way, constantly grieving over something you can't change is not helping you, either. You have to forgive yourself. I mean really forgive yourself. And remember, forgiveness is a tricky thing, so ask God to help you.
And when those thoughts come back to your mind, meditate on scripture, in the present tense, say it out loud if you have to! I am a new creature: old things are passed away; I have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17. There is power in the Word! I'll be praying with you on this!
 
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Near

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What concerns me is that you say you still are a selfish person in many ways. I would say that selfishness leads to falling away, if not fallen already. Your sinful past, as bad as it may have been is to be regretted. However, the longer we abide in Christ, the more distant that sinful life is, and you begin to stop seeing that old self as you, becuase in Christ you realize you are a new creation. Make every effort to rid yourself of your current selfishness, make sure that does not ensnare you. Ask for God's forgiveness for any sin in your life, in repentance fleeing all sin. The battle still continues, remain in Christ, and endure to the end1 Peter 4:1-6 NIV

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to human standards in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.
 
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Krikey

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This may sound harsh but I mean it in a truly gentle way.

Your fiancé loves you and has chosen you for so many reasons, and if he is saying to you that you are worth it, it is an insult to HIS judgment that he will let your past sins go, but you won't. The same goes for God. When you repent and are saved, God forgives you through Jesus. To then continue to say that your sins were terrible and still with you is an act of saying that the life of Jesus himself was not enough to save you. That is insulting to Jesus and to God, who said you're worth it and that you are now cleansed. As someone said in this posting previously, it is good to REMEMBER your sins and what you had to do to come away from them so that they are not repeated, but to still carry them with you is an insult to everyone who has also acknowledged them and forgiven them. Now, let you forgive yourself.

Also, congratulations in both your relationship with God, and your future marriage!! What a joy!!!
 
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Inkachu

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My biggest concern is that you're a mere 20 years old and about to get married, when you've only been saved for two years, and are obviously still dealing with the scars and baggage of your past. Is this really a good time to enter into a lifelong commitment of marriage??
 
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