Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts? OCD Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit

[unpardoned1]

BLASPHEMY AGAINST THE HOLY SPIRIT


I have been tortured that I have committed the unpardonable sin. 10 years ago, I was 18, I was plagued with thoughts (intrusive) from Obsessive compulsive disorder. These thoughts were evil thoughts about the Holy Spirit. They were horrible and every time that I had one it would just strike fear that it was the unpardonable sin. i didn't want these thoughts.
I had written Bible verses on a peace of paper to comfort me. I placed them on the side of the couch and they apparently blew away because of the fan. I couldn't find them and I frantically looked under the dresser or in drawers and couldn't find them anywhere. In my mind I thought God took them because he didn't want me.

For an instant I had anger against the Holy Spirit and In my mind I said that the Holy Spirit was the enemy(evil one). I felt anger when I said it, but it was NOT an intrusive thought, It came from MY ANGER, MY FLESH. I immediately told God I was sorry and I begged forgiveness, but I felt that it was too late. I thought I deserved to go to Hell for this one and that there is no hope. I have been tortured. I desperately want forgiveness and have pleaded with God over this many times, but feel its too late. I am in so much pain. I have NO HOPE. I am hurting. I have three children and they need their mom but I'm not available half the time since I'm constantly on the computer looking for help .My husband gets no time with me anymore either. My pastor told me I cannot do this sin today, but so many people say you can. I have found people that confirm that calling the Holy Spirit the devil is what this sin is! That does seem what the Pharisees were doing. I am so sad I feel my destiny is set as there is no forgiveness in this life or the next.

(JUST SO YOU KNOW I POSTED THIS IN THE NEWBIES SECTION AS WELL, THAT PROBABLY WAS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE)

 

[seajoy]

First, let me give you an on-line hug , and let you know that you are not alone in your ocd thoughts. I too, thought I had committed the unpardonable sin against the Holy Spirit. I suffered for several years with the same thoughts as you have.

Just so you know, there is hope! I no longer have trouble with this, and hardly ever think of it. Your problem is not your faith, it's ocd. I thought about religious stuff 24/7, and was sure I was going to hell. I missed my children's "little years" because I was too busy trying to counter all these horrible thoughts about God. I was hospitalized 6 times on psych floors for this.

It's possible to get better. It takes therapy and meds. If you have questions on how God helped me to get the right help, please PM me.

It is not too late...far from it, in fact!

seajoy

 

[Ruth~]

I think it would do you a lot of good to see a psychologist. One helped me a lot with OCD. Best wishes to you. It's not your fault you have these thoughts. It's a chemical imbalance.

 

[seajoy]

Amen Ruth! You are one smart lady!

seajoy

 

[unpardoned1]

Yes, I am looking for a good one. I have been in the past, but I can't find one to stick with. My family doctor has me on Paxil which helps with OCD and I am on Klonopin for anxiety.

The problem doesn't seem to be with my OCD, but it is with the angry thought that I had towards the Holy Spirit that was from my own mind. What do you think about that? I feel like I will be put in Hell for my angry thought saying that the Holy Spirit was the devil. I feel horrible. That wasn't an OCD thought.

Carrie

 

[seajoy]

Yes, I am looking for a good one. I have been in the past, but I can't find one to stick with. My family doctor has me on Paxil which helps with OCD and I am on Klonopin for anxiety.

The problem doesn't seem to be with my OCD, but it is with the angry thought that I had towards the Holy Spirit that was from my own mind. What do you think about that? I feel like I will be put in Hell for my angry thought saying that the Holy Spirit was the devil. I feel horrible. That wasn't an OCD thought.

Carrie

Trust me...it's ocd. All those lingering, over, and over again thoughts are ocd. It doesn't matter what the thought is.

Carrie, you have a chemical imbalance...your brain is stuck on religious thoughts just like a broken record. You need therapy, along with the meds. It took me 11 psychiatrists to find the right one. You need one that knows lots and lots about ocd, just like I did. Even after I was diagnosed, I still thought that my thoughts were somehow different, and God was more mad at me than He was at anyone else with ocd.

It's all part of it...the same vicious circle. You have the thought, then you try to counter it with something that will make that thought go away. This just makes it happen all over again.

I know what you are going through. I've been there.

seajoy

 

[Ruth~]

Yes, I am looking for a good one. I have been in the past, but I can't find one to stick with. My family doctor has me on Paxil which helps with OCD and I am on Klonopin for anxiety.

The problem doesn't seem to be with my OCD, but it is with the angry thought that I had towards the Holy Spirit that was from my own mind. What do you think about that? I feel like I will be put in Hell for my angry thought saying that the Holy Spirit was the devil. I feel horrible. That wasn't an OCD thought.

Carrie

But you can't help that you think that. It's an obsessive thought that you can't seem to stop by yourself. I hope you can find a good counselor to help you find techniques that will help you change the thoughts. It's not your fault. You have an illness.

 

[cruztacean]

Dear pardoned one: Does it help to point out some logical facts? (I don't know much about OCD; please forgive me if I'm not helpful.)

Someone who has committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit wouldn't care whether he/she has done it. The Holy Spirit brings about repentance and leads us to the want of salvation. Without that connection, a person would have absolutely no desire to be saved, may even say "I'm going to hell, I know it, and I don't care."

I was in this position years ago as a teenager. I had a sexual enounter with a clergy candidate INSIDE the church building. I was convinced I was going to hell. I just knew it was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit to do such a thing.

It was a sin, yes. But had it been unpardonable, I would have felt no guilt afterwards. The unpardonable sin is unpardonable not because God is not willing to forgive it, but because the person who has done so has no desire to ask for forgiveness.

I agree that you need psychological as well as pastoral counseling, but probably with a pastor who has a psychological background. I disagree with your pastor that the sin is not committable today, and with others who say it is only calling the Holy Spirit the devil. God doesn't hold honest mistakes, or delusions, against a person. Again I reiterate that what I did as a teenager was definitely a grievous sin against God, but God forgave it.

Jesus said (I'll get back to you with book, chapter, and verse) that what is done in a state of blindness is not even considered a sin. It's when you find out the truth later, and don't change the behavior, that it becomes a sin.

I hope I've helped. Now pardon me while I look up that verse.

 

[cruztacean]

Here it is. King James. The context is that Jesus has just healed a man blind from birth, and the Pharisees aren't happy about it.

John 9
39And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind.
40And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also?
41Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

The Pharisees were guilty of sin because they knew fully well what they were doing. If they cared, and asked forgiveness, God would only be too happy to forgive.

 

[Hello There]

Obsessive Compuslive Disorder, can become one of the worst disorders, just don't give it hope.

 

[mbrob]

I too have struggled for some time with this one. My life was in shambles and sought help from my pastor who recommended me to a physician.

I don't think we would all be discussing this on an OCD forum (let alone a Christian forum) if this was not an OCD symptom. All of us who are or have been concerned about this "unpardonable sin" have OCD. Here are some scriptural messages that I have found helpful:

1. The Pharisees were publically and willfully rejecting Christ and attributing his works to the devil. Jesus knew their thoughts and intentions. He also knows yours (better than you do!) -- i.e., 1 John 3:20 "If your heart condemns you, know that God is greater than your heart and knows all things." As for you feeling that they are really your thoughts because you felt a certain emotion when they intruded, recognize that intrusive thoughts "drop in" whether you are happy, sad, yes angry, hungry, you name it. That's why they are intrusive.

2. These were harsh words from Jesus (which is why they play into our fear based affliction), but realize they were not directed at us as Christians. Ephesians, written for Christians, captures more accurately words that are directed at us. Eph 1:13 "...after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were SEALED WITH THAT HOLY SPIRIT OF PROMISE." We Christians have been sealed from the day we first believed. This one really helped take the sting out of the thoughts. I would just remember that "I am sealed" and gradually the thoughts lost their valued, because they no longer have the "ultimate fear" attached to them. Fear attaches meaning to thoughts and therefore can perpetuate them in OCD.

Medication has helped me recover from the depression and anxiety associated with self-condemnation. This is probably not your first experience with ocd and intrusive thoughts, but there can be no worse obsession. Once you have conquered this with God's help, the bully that is OCD will not push you around; what else could it do, once you've bounced back from what appeared to be an eternal crisis.

God bless,

Marc

 

[Morninglife]

This is why I left this place a year ago, somebody here told me I did this and I bought it for a long time and was immobilised with fear and those terrible obsessive thoughts that could be set off by things as simple as certain color combinations. Thank God the agony is over, and it's never coming back. I know the type of people to stay away from now.

I finally realised how empty everything is without God when I thought I lost Him.

 

[cruztacean]

Oh, Morninglife, I'm so sorry that happened to you. How disgusting to be told you've committed such a sin, how inappropriate, and how incorrect.

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is not something that is committed in a single act, or by accident. It is a willful and intentional, ongoing rejection of Christ.

Yes, life is empty without God. I'm so glad you've re-discovered Him. Praise His name for that, and don't ever let anyone tell you He no longer wants you.

 

[Morninglife]

I thought the post above mine was the original post. I so didn't mean to hijack the thread or anything. Sorry

 

[cruztacean]

I thought the post above mine was the original post. I so didn't mean to hijack the thread or anything. Sorry

I'm not sure you did do anything wrong. Your post looked on topic to me. If I'm not mistaken, it's OK to join in with a "me too, I can relate" story.

 

[seajoy]

Morninglife...don't worry, your thoughts fit right in here. I'm sorry someone said such a mean thing to you, without knowing anything about ocd.

We are here for each other

seajoy

 

[unpardoned1]

But you can't help that you think that. It's an obsessive thought that you can't seem to stop by yourself. I hope you can find a good counselor to help you find techniques that will help you change the thoughts. It's not your fault. You have an illness.

I feel that I could have helped this thought. It really came from me because of my anger

 

[unpardoned1]

"I disagree with your pastor that the sin is not committable today, and with others who say it is only calling the Holy Spirit the devil. God doesn't hold honest mistakes, or delusions, against a person."

Are you saying that calling the Holy Spirit the devil is that sin or not the sin? Also, the thought I had wasn't a mistake that is why I am so scared. I probably could have stopped it. I am soooo scared.

What do you think the unpardonable sin is?

Thanks, Carrie

 

[unpardoned1]

I thought the post above mine was the original post. I so didn't mean to hijack the thread or anything. Sorry

Yes, you are welcome to join this post I want to hear of what other people went through. It helps me. Thanks, Carrie

 

[Morninglife]

Unpardoned1, cruztacean is absolutely right. If you really did it, why would you still want to be with God and want salvation? If you really did you it, why would you want forgiveness from God? The Holy Spirit moves us to desire forgiveness from God. If you're concerned or even scared that you might have done it, that's solid proof that you absolutely did not do it. Whether or not you think you could have prevented anything.

As she also said before, it's not unforgivable because God refuses to forgive it, it's unforgivable because the person who did it will never desire forgiveness. I've never even looked at it that way before. When you do, it sheds a whole new light on things about the Heart of God.

My heart aches for you, I went through the same thing for so long. You have some very good and perfectly logical reasons not to be afraid, I hope it helps. I know how hard it is to get out of it though.

And don't hesitate to PM me if you want to talk or anything.

by the way, I'm still stuggling too, even after all of this time, just kind of in a different way. I'm struggling with the mentality that if I'm not worried about it, then I might have done it, so now I only feel comfortable\safe being scared that I may have done it. It's miserable. This isn't how it's supposed to be for us.

If you love God and want His forgiveness, there's nothing to be afraid of.