Can I explain this to my daughter?

[LynnMcG]

My husband is going into detox tomorrow morning. How or should I tell my 6 year-old daughter? He never goes away for business (he's in construction) so I can't tell her that. We're not driving her, his sponsor is, so she won't see the hospital. But she's going to know something's up. We're a really close family and this is tough.

Can a 6 year-old understand alcoholism? I hate to think she has to right now. Any suggestions would be helpful.

EDIT: Sorry, I was tired when I wrote this...it's detox, not rehab. BIG difference I know. I'm sorry for the confusion.

 

[cajunlady]

Hi,
My name is Sandy and I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and I have been clean & sober for almost 8 years. When I went to re-hab in 1997 my family did this in front of my two children and it has really affected them, especially my son. He always thinks that I will leave again. Be careful of what you say because children are remarkable and what they hear really stays with them. Maybe you could tell her that her dad is sick and that he going to a place to help him to get better. The place that I was in my children were allowed to visit on weekends, so if she gets to see him she will know that he will be o.k. and that he will come back home. If he is allowed to have phone calls allow her to speak to him and tell her if he hears her voice that he will get better faster. I sure hope that this helped. If not, pray and ask God to direct you in the right path to take with this matter....May God bless you and your family. Please tell your husband don't give up before the miracle happens. He CAN and WILL do this with the LORDS help..........Hugs...

 

[LynnMcG]

Thank you.

I'm sorry, it's detox not rehab. So he'll be gone for 3-5 days. BIG differnce, I know. He and I have been through this MANY times before - 3 rehabs (the third time was 14 months, 3,000 miles away), halfway house, 3 detoxes. It's just that it's the first time since we had kids. He was sober for 6 months this time and FINALLY working his program for the first time in his life. I know he is delivered of this addiction. I don't know why he relapsed this time, but God does, and I'm sure my husband will figure it out.

My husband goes to AA meetings every day. So I told my daughter last night that Daddy was going away with Steve (his sponsor) for a couple days. She asked why and I told her it was kind of like when he goes to his meetings, but for three days. She was disappointed, but didn't cry. At this age, I can still distract her with other things to keep her mind off of this.

At some point she's going to need to know about all of this, but I think she's just too little. Plus, I can imagine how this is going to be explained to the next stranger who asks her a question! "Well, my daddy went away..." You know how they love to share their lives with anyone who'll ask at this age!

Thanks again cajunlady. God bless you!

 

[~PICKLE~]

My husband is going into detox tomorrow morning. How or should I tell my 6 year-old daughter? He never goes away for business (he's in construction) so I can't tell her that. We're not driving her, his sponsor is, so she won't see the hospital. But she's going to know something's up. We're a really close family and this is tough.

Can a 6 year-old understand alcoholism? I hate to think she has to right now. Any suggestions would be helpful.

EDIT: Sorry, I was tired when I wrote this...it's detox, not rehab. BIG difference I know. I'm sorry for the confusion.

it seems we are in the same situation.... my son is 5 and I have no clue how to explain anything to him---I usually say daddy went looking for a job. Deep down I think he knows something is wrong......but what exactly I'm not sure

Prayers for you and daughter...even your husband

 

[ceedaisy]

Pickle~~I agree with Cajun on this. A very simplified truth is needed. Nothing wrong with telling the child that mommy or daddy is sick and need to go get better. If the child asks how are they sick, you can say you are not sure or that the child shouldn't worry about it and all will be well. This way you will not be lying to your child and the child will not be subjected to grownup problems. Things will work out just fine!

 

[AlaskanAngels]

My prayers go out to your husband and family,
My husband is in a 14 month treatment program in prison! We all handel things in a differant manner, However I was up-front and ohnest with my children. D'Lacy was 7 and Bobby 10. Children are smarter then we give them credit for at times! We did not lie to them or make up stories. We told them straight up Daddy is sick and has to go get help, So he can come back to us and be healthy, They know what type of drug and everything. D'Lacy spoke to the kids at school for the DARE program. I was very proud of her. My mother always said WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND! I did not want to be telling a story a couple years from now and have my kids say( I thought daddy was ???)
I wish you all the best, No matter what you deside to tell her,

 

[ceedaisy]

Great job AlaskanAngels!!

 

[luv4godremains]

I'm praying for you guys, I hope everything gets better, and praying for a lasting recovery!

 

[LynnMcG]

Thank you everyone. Everything after detox went really well. My kids were so happy to see my husband, that they didn't really ask any questions. Recently though, Sarah's (6 years-old) been asking why daddy goes to meetings every night. We've been telling her that it's grown up stuff. That she doesn't need to know about all of this right now, but one day soon we'll tell her all about it. She seems ok with it. And my husband's taken her to a couple meetings with him, so she knows where he's going.