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nakita3

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Just last week I lost someone so very special to me. We were born only 3 months apart to best friends. Our future was all planned out for us...we were to be friends for life...that we were, I just thought we'd have each other for longer.

It's just a roller coaster. I have so many regrets. He was such a sweet, caring person and at a few points in our lives, it became clear that he wanted more out of our relationship...sadly I did not return those deeper feelings.Maybe if I had, it would've led him down a different road that would not have led to his death. We lived in different cities in different provinces but we always kept in touch over the years. The 'what ifs' are killing me.

He had a really strong faith, and was very close to his family, but during the last few years he battled depression, anxiety etc...this led to a dependency on prescriptions, which later led him to illegal drug use.....a bad street drug killed him. I just wonder where he is. I am a catholic, but his death is making me question everything. I just need to know that he is ok. When my grandfather passed several years ago, I felt him. I knew he was ok. With my friend, neither I, nor any of his family have 'felt' him. I'm so sad...I just can't eat. I am married with a young child, and my son keeps asking if I'm ok.

He was only 31 years old. He suffered so much in the last few years, that it should bring me some relief knowing that he is at peace. I am trying to lean on my faith to get me through this but I feel so lost. Why should someone have to suffer so much during his short life? Unfortunately I'm seeking answers that don't seem to exist...

Can anyone help?
 

ktfields22

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Thank you for your sweet message, and you're right.... it seems like we are in similar situations. I completely understand how much pain you're in right now, and while I would never wish the way I'm feeling on anyone, its nice to know that someone else understands.
What makes it so hard is that no matter how many kind words or prayers you receive, our questions will never really be answered until we are gone as well. I too have been wondering why my friend had to go through so many hard times in his life, only to be taken away so young. I feel like he never had the chance to get past all the problems that came his way, and yet despite all he went through he was still one of the kindest people I had ever known. I pray every day that he will find a way to let me know that he is with God, but I know I can't rely on that. I know its hard, but you have to stay strong for your family, especially for your son. It doesn't seem like it, but one day it will get easier. I am waiting on that myself, but until then, I am here anytime you need a friend.
 
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nakita3

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Thanks Katie I really appreciate the support. I managed to get through today without being a complete mess. I hope the same for you tomorrow.

Yesterday was rough. I figured out though that 1/2 of my mourning is attributed to all my regrets and guilt. Of course I am sad that my friend is gone and that he suffered so much, but I am also sad that I wasn't there for him as much as I should've been in the last little while. Do you share in that? Like you, I too yearn for him to find a way to tell me he's with God. Strangely, yesterday during one of my 'melt downs' I was talking to Shane (my friend who passed) and told him how guilty I felt for everything...
Suddenly and very clearly, this thought came into my head and said ‘you have to let me go’. I want to believe so much that it was Shane's way of telling me to get on with my life and not cling to the regrets I may have concerning him.

One of my friends suggested I meditate to help clear my mind and be open to any 'messages' etc... I plan to try that... at this point I'll try anything.
 
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LazeyWinde

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I'm sure you did all you could for your friend. Whenever anyone's had a rough life and died too young their survivors are left wondering what they should've done that could've saved them... and don't realize all the good that they have done for who they lost. He was better for knowing you.
 
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