Just last week I lost someone so very special to me. We were born only 3 months apart to best friends. Our future was all planned out for us...we were to be friends for life...that we were, I just thought we'd have each other for longer.
It's just a roller coaster. I have so many regrets. He was such a sweet, caring person and at a few points in our lives, it became clear that he wanted more out of our relationship...sadly I did not return those deeper feelings.Maybe if I had, it would've led him down a different road that would not have led to his death. We lived in different cities in different provinces but we always kept in touch over the years. The 'what ifs' are killing me.
He had a really strong faith, and was very close to his family, but during the last few years he battled depression, anxiety etc...this led to a dependency on prescriptions, which later led him to illegal drug use.....a bad street drug killed him. I just wonder where he is. I am a catholic, but his death is making me question everything. I just need to know that he is ok. When my grandfather passed several years ago, I felt him. I knew he was ok. With my friend, neither I, nor any of his family have 'felt' him. I'm so sad...I just can't eat. I am married with a young child, and my son keeps asking if I'm ok.
He was only 31 years old. He suffered so much in the last few years, that it should bring me some relief knowing that he is at peace. I am trying to lean on my faith to get me through this but I feel so lost. Why should someone have to suffer so much during his short life? Unfortunately I'm seeking answers that don't seem to exist...
Can anyone help?
It's just a roller coaster. I have so many regrets. He was such a sweet, caring person and at a few points in our lives, it became clear that he wanted more out of our relationship...sadly I did not return those deeper feelings.Maybe if I had, it would've led him down a different road that would not have led to his death. We lived in different cities in different provinces but we always kept in touch over the years. The 'what ifs' are killing me.
He had a really strong faith, and was very close to his family, but during the last few years he battled depression, anxiety etc...this led to a dependency on prescriptions, which later led him to illegal drug use.....a bad street drug killed him. I just wonder where he is. I am a catholic, but his death is making me question everything. I just need to know that he is ok. When my grandfather passed several years ago, I felt him. I knew he was ok. With my friend, neither I, nor any of his family have 'felt' him. I'm so sad...I just can't eat. I am married with a young child, and my son keeps asking if I'm ok.
He was only 31 years old. He suffered so much in the last few years, that it should bring me some relief knowing that he is at peace. I am trying to lean on my faith to get me through this but I feel so lost. Why should someone have to suffer so much during his short life? Unfortunately I'm seeking answers that don't seem to exist...
Can anyone help?