Hi, you are NOT an intrusion. It is nice to see you willing to ask those of us who deal with these illnesses for help! Very respectful of our experince and care for others.
I have a few things to share-my dad, myself and my son are bi-polar type 2. My Dad lead a relativety "Normal" life tell his 50's when his depression over took him and he went on meds but was never really ever able to find his way back out of that pit. I also lead a relatively "normal" life until my mid 30's when depression hit full force. And within the last 3 years the anger and mania side emerged. I choose to be medicated and seek help and am fighting tooth and nail so to speak to learn and cope with this illness. My son in 2nd grade told me he felt like stabbing himself in the heart with a knife, was diagnosed with depression treated for that from then on, then about 1 year before hegraduated develpoed worsening anger and someone finally told us that was a form of mania so he was diagnosed with bp2. but at that age getting him to take meds was difficult and as soon as he left home for college quit taking them and doesn't think he needs them.
So I have experiences from many different angles.
One of the most helpfuk things i ever did was take the family2famliy course offerd by NAMi (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). they have a website, i think nami.org Look it up and see if they have this class in your area. It was well worth my time and I was a registered nurse for 15 years. I learned things there I had never heard before. They help you learn about the diseases, medications, treatments, research. YOu also get the chance as a group to get ideas, talk thru boundaries, role play conversations and plan for crisis. all stuff that just helps, period.
One of the biggest challenges with mental ilness is this disease affects your brain, thus the way you think about things. You find yoursellf either denying or second guessing whether you can believe anything at all!!! Everything we do, think and are is processed thru the brain! Thus if that isn't working properly how do we judge (with our brain) when it is working and when it isnt? It is very common for anyone to see reality inour own way-thus eye witness accounts vary. So when you have an illness you don't always see things others around you do.
My son never felt the meds made any difference for him. As his family when can tell you they sure did!!! We like anyone, get sick and tired of taking pills, pills, [ills. so we think, ya know I've been doing better-maybe I don't need these anymore. Then we do worse and either don't want to or can't see what is happening. The good old complicated human thing.
Sounds to me like your Mom needs meds and help. Can you force her, prob not. Can you encourage her to seek help/intervene to protect her from herself and others? Yes. Can you have boundaries and limit her contact with your children completely/partially/or make it supervised? YES!!!! That is called appropriate boundaries! When your kids of are age and can make there own decision? Nope, back to the encourage and talk routine. Can you explain to the kids when they are older and help them learn approp. boundaries? Yes. (Obviiuosly ,I have made some assumptions about your kids ages, but thought I'd cover the entire spectrum.)
Now, just a few basic tidbits about bp, coz this is getting to be a novel!!!
Bp is an illness--documentable brain changes on autopsy. It tends to be progressive through out life, esp if not medicated. There are 2 types bp1 and bp2 and actually a third called mixed states. Bp cycling, the ups and downs, can be as individual as the houses we live in. So the up and down frequency/ duration/ height-can vary from episode to episode and person to person. Stabilization on a med may take several (I've been told 4) months. So Blessings on you as you try to make wise decisions to help all the parts of your family. If you would like me to write another book
just let me know!
