business trip

[Evie]

do any of you marriage folks ever have to leave your spouse for long periods of time for business trips. It is just the hardest thing for me. My hubby is gone for 2 weeks and he is half way across the country. It is not the same when they call or email. I can not wait for the 2 weeks. He usually will go days at a time but this is too long for me.

 

[FroggyJK]

When we were first married he traveled for work. He was gone from early Monday morning to late Friday night (sometimes Saturday mornings). He would be exhausted most of Saturday and had to spend half of his Sunday getting his paper work done. I only got to spend a day and a half with him per week for 6 months. Needless to say, it was kind of a rough start for us.

Think of all the military wives out there. Right now my sister is having to deal with her husband being in Iraq for a year and a half. They have a one year old little girl. She tries to get through it by reminding herself that this is only temporary (for the most part). That in the grand scheme of things, when they've lived their lives together, that this year and a half will only be a short memory.

Two weeks can seem like a long time when you aren't used to him being gone, but at the end of your lives together, you probably won't even remember it. Just try to stay busy. Pamper yourself a little bit. Go do some things that you might not normally be able to do if your husband were home. He will be home before you know it!


Jen

 

[Svt4Him]

I heard that after 10 days, your marriage starts to break down. Family life today I believe.

 

[green suiter]

Not Ten, but on the average about the 60th day is when the couples start to feel the emptyness of the other spouse being gone. Trust me every body has thier piont when it takes effect. I travel all the time.

We found that the letters, E-mails, etc. help But did you ever try having a Date to shop or browse diffrent web sites while IM each other? Then there is cam's for the computer in which you could see each other. The kid's really love that one.

I think once you get a routine down for you (and kids if you have any) it works a little better. But make sure you stay busy. But don't forget a little personal time for yourself to do the things you enjoy. When we become ideal is when problems arise, and remember the hardest part is adjusting to your spouse back into your new routine that is where the hard part is.

 

[Katydid]

My husband (green suiter) is in the military. We have dealt with long seperations and there are definately some tricks to doing it. First off, 10 days, well, as my husband said that isn't acurate. If you know how to keep yourself out of trouble, then you should be fine for up to a year or more.

First, routine!!! Especially with kids. Now the trick to a routine is to start it BEFORE your spouse leaves, have him be a part of it. Basically, Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner at the same times every day. With kids, naptime, same time every day. If you don't have kids, it makes it easier in some ways and harder in others. The routine becomes a little less important without kids. But, at least with kids you have some company, though they can become overwhelming after a while.

Secondly, alot yourself some spending money, not alot, but so you can have a day out about once a week, with him being gone for two weeks, that would give you two fun days out doing whatever you want. Now if you have kids, of course, you don't have to worry about being alone, if you don't have kids, try to take a friend. But, this is the most important part. A FEMALE FRIEND!!!!

Third, NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN A SITUATION YOU MIGHT REGRET!!!!! Basically, clubs and bars and anyplace you may run into temptations ARE OUT!!!!!

Fourth, plan for the return. With kids, have them make welcome home banners, have them help bake a cake or cookies for when daddy gets home. If you don't have kids, well, use one of the shopping trips to help you prepare. Buy a little nighty and some massage oils, something to make the day he gets home extra special.

Fifth, stay busy. Organize the house, clean extra good, take the car to the car wash, go through your clothes and get rid of all the old ones, rent movies, read a book, crochet, knit, cross-stitch, crossword puzzles, etc. etc. etc. You get the drift. And of course if you get lonely, call your mom, or dad, or friend (FEMALE FRIEND), or sister, or just come on here and talk to us.

Those are the basic rules for when a spouse is away. Now, if you have kids, let me know, becuase you can add some activities for them, and make it fun, (they will miss him, but they don't have to be miserable) and I will give you some ideas for them.

 

[Oblivious]

My husband is gone often on business. Mostly domestic travel, usually not over a week at a time.

I miss him like crazy but you get used to it I guess. I'm busy enough with work and other things so it's not too bad and usually the time flies. Thank God for the dog so I have someone to talk to (I know, I'm nuts ).

 

[Evie]

My husband (green suiter) is in the military. We have dealt with long seperations and there are definately some tricks to doing it. First off, 10 days, well, as my husband said that isn't acurate. If you know how to keep yourself out of trouble, then you should be fine for up to a year or more.

First, routine!!! Especially with kids. Now the trick to a routine is to start it BEFORE your spouse leaves, have him be a part of it. Basically, Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner at the same times every day. With kids, naptime, same time every day. If you don't have kids, it makes it easier in some ways and harder in others. The routine becomes a little less important without kids. But, at least with kids you have some company, though they can become overwhelming after a while.

Secondly, alot yourself some spending money, not alot, but so you can have a day out about once a week, with him being gone for two weeks, that would give you two fun days out doing whatever you want. Now if you have kids, of course, you don't have to worry about being alone, if you don't have kids, try to take a friend. But, this is the most important part. A FEMALE FRIEND!!!!

Third, NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN A SITUATION YOU MIGHT REGRET!!!!! Basically, clubs and bars and anyplace you may run into temptations ARE OUT!!!!!

Fourth, plan for the return. With kids, have them make welcome home banners, have them help bake a cake or cookies for when daddy gets home. If you don't have kids, well, use one of the shopping trips to help you prepare. Buy a little nighty and some massage oils, something to make the day he gets home extra special.

Fifth, stay busy. Organize the house, clean extra good, take the car to the car wash, go through your clothes and get rid of all the old ones, rent movies, read a book, crochet, knit, cross-stitch, crossword puzzles, etc. etc. etc. You get the drift. And of course if you get lonely, call your mom, or dad, or friend (FEMALE FRIEND), or sister, or just come on here and talk to us.

Those are the basic rules for when a spouse is away. Now, if you have kids, let me know, becuase you can add some activities for them, and make it fun, (they will miss him, but they don't have to be miserable) and I will give you some ideas for them.

yes,I have 2 boys. Ages 11 and 6. We are staying busy with their private school,as I help out there.They have Thursday and Friday and also Monday off from school this week. Any ideas to keep them busy? By the way,my husband sent us some digital photos from his trip in the email and that just meant the world to the kids and I. I told him to keep them coming.Thanks for your advise.

 

[Katydid]

Well, we did a couple things with our kids, though 11 is older than ours are. We have 7, 3, and 1 yr. old children. One thing is we had a treat jar, and every day that Daddy was gone they got a treat, as the days went by they saw the jar emptying and it was easier for them to see than on a calendar. We made paper chains with a new chain each day that had one thing special that we did written on it. When daddy came home he got to read what we had been up to while he was gone. It hurt him a little to read that Lara learned to crawl, or that Justin learned to count to three. But, it was wonderful that every evening we would sit down and write what we had done. As far as keeping busy, painting pictures of your day is always a good one. Try to teach them something new that they can show off to daddy. Maybe, putting together a model, or making jewelry. For boys, you can take some string and take nuts and bolts and manly type things to make bracelets out of. That way they can show daddy what they accomplished while he was gone. Plan a welcome home party with homemade hats and banners and invitations for everyone in the family (mom, dad, brother, brother), make up some place settings and plan a welcome home meal. Just make a big deal about getting things ready for daddy's return. Give them a pack of construction paper and crayons, you may be suprised what they come up with. That should occupy them for at least a little bit. I hope this helps some.

 

[bliz]

Evie -

I have been on both sides of the being away from home issue and the truth is that it is far easier to be the one away. Not that they don't miss the people back home, but they are away becasue there are things to be done and their time is usually pretty full.

I think the best sloution is to plan ahead and make good use of the time away from him. It can be more time to study the Word, time to get together with friends, (they can come over in the evening) have a girls night in and watch chick flicks, time to do special things with your kids, time to pamper yourself, plan a special project for around the house... The best thing about being apart are the reunions!

 

[E-beth]

Heh...Mine is disabled and NEVER goes anywhere. Sometimes I wish that one of us could go on a business trip or a mini vacation just so we could miss each other a little bit. Not to be mean, I just think even the best of couples need a little time away.

 

[Svt4Him]

Well actually the ten day thing is probably accurate. And a marriage starting to break down means that one has to work to rebuild it again, it doesn't mean one runs off and has an affair. People may survive it, but it takes a lot of work.

 

[Katydid]

Svt4Him,

Maybe it is relative to a certain extent. My husband and I have been seperated numerous times, so it is fairly easy for us to come back together. Not too much work involved. Usually, I miss him terribly for about 2 or 3 days, then I just miss him, and when he comes home, well, since we set up a routine the whole time he is home, he just falls back into the same routine. That is a big key though, routine. If your husband manages the finances, and is gone for long periods of time, then you should probably manage them continuously. If he is the disciplinarian and he is going to be gone for long periods, then it will cause problems, so you need to step up and take responsibility for that. In our home, the roles stay the same regardless of if he is here or not. I think that helps us.

 

[WolfGate]

I'm on the road about every 3rd week for usually 2-4 days. Occassionally I'll be out for a week.

Definitely harder on my wife, since she works also and we have a 3 and a 5 year old.