Building other Christians up

[whatseekye]

I have a question, and I hope that this discussion will also minister to someone here. At my church, we had a guest speaker who is a missionary in the Ukraine. He spoke to us about how to live a Christian life of purpose by being a minister of reconciliation. The idea is that people who aren't saved need to be reconciled to God, so we should always keep in mind that we are ambassadors of God, to hopefully reconcile them to God.

But for people who already know God, our purpose is to build them up. I would like to know your thoughts on how to build other Christians up. What do you think it means, "to build up", and also, what are your experiences with this. How have you build others up? How have you yourself been built up by others? Also, what does it mean to tear another Christian down? What have you witnessed that was destructive and clearly the opposite of building up?

If you know any verses on this topic, please share them! I hope someone can give me some guidance and thoughts on this because when I think of what building up could mean, I come up with very limited concepts. Surely it must be more.

God bless you all.

 

[goldenviolet]

we are to be lights of the world! (scripteral) love God with all your heart, soul and might... And love one another (scriptual). with people who don't know God, we call it our calling to reach out... our duty. with other christians, it's the same...we call it fellowship. Be fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters (scripteral)
speak to one another in spalms and hymns (scripteral). all you have to do to do what that person needs is to be God's vessel. pray and have God's love and words in your pocket.

 

[whatseekye]

Thank you for your response, rdee! I hope and pray for more input from other people. I'm searching for the answers on how to build others up in a practical way. I am actively praying for other people but sometimes I lack ideas on how to build them up in fellowship. Fellowship is very hard to come by in my church but we may soon have more events and opportunities. So when I do get others in my presence, what can I do to build them up as Christians?

 

[BlessedVegan]

I think of building up as constructive, loving guidance as to how a Christian should try to behave. Versus harping on their every sin, that would be tearing them down. BAsically it means trying to be helpful in their walk with Christ, but not letting that helpfullness turn into nagging a pesron all the time. IMHO.

 

[heartnsoul]

Treat others has you would want others to treat you. Think about how Jesus builds us up. When I think about how God has treated me, I am so humbled and filled with love and gratitude. God is patient, loves us and walks with us even when we stumble. He is always there ready & waiting for us to seek Him and walk with Him. Building others up is loving others and helping others know Christ by being an example. Share with others (at the right time) your own personal testimonies of what God has done for you. Simply put, it's being a "best" friend to others like Jesus is to us and letting your light shine. Hope that helps.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Whatseekye, what a great idea for a thread. Your posts seem very encouraging and edifying and I think we can all can learn a great deal from this. You seem to have a great understanding of this already-we can learn from you.

As for the tearing down of Christians, I've seen too much to recount. The most horrifying thing I can think of, though, is when people tear down Christ's servants and then turn and say, "God did it. He was humbling you." Often sin hides behind righteous gilding. Humility does not slander or envy because it isn't self-seeking. Poor apostle Paul spent much of his epistle-writing time defending his sincerity because satan is always on the prowl.

But I love the promise God gives us that we can simply take care of others, and in relinquishing the quest for personal glory, we find it.

Matthew 20:25-26

25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. 26 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.

The unsaved will always hold a magnifying glass to the saints in order to inspect them for fault. It's inevitable. But they will not be able to stand under the weight of their own scrutiny, the standard of which the Lord will then use to judge them. Sad.

Thank you for raising the topic; I'd be pleased to hear more about it.

 

[angelwind]

I have a friend who often gives me scriptures that remind me to trust God and not fear. To keep my heart filled with faith and hope. She is dear to me.

I used to like to send scripture to my friends by "real"...mail...the old fashioned kind of mail, with a cute card. A phone call to someone who is house bound can be a real blessing for them.

Take someone to lunch...an elderly person and give them some "time".

We had a woman die a few months ago...she was not a gifted teacher...but a gifted "server". Everyone knew her...she served in many different ways...quietly. Her "gospel" was loudly preached thru her life and actions. We all miss her.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

My friend's daughter is a good builder, because she has the amazing gift of seeing good in others, even at moments where other people wouldn't. Someone walks across a room and nearly trips on an cord; the adults see someone who almost fell while she sees someone who, wowcool!, landed on his feet. She's honest and straightforward, and is always looking for an opportunity to be of service. This girl is ten years old, and yet, at her young age she commands admiration because she carries out what she knows about Christ's teachings, and she carries it out with confidence. It's simple fo her. She knows to be kind, so she's kind. She knows to treat others the way she wants to be treated, so she does. It's so simple for her: hear, and then do. It reminds me of what Jesus said about needing to become like a child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. The irony: her childlikeness makes her mature.

 

[whatseekye]

My friend's daughter is a good builder, because she has the amazing gift of seeing good in others, even at moments where other people wouldn't. Someone walks across a room and nearly trips on an cord; the adults see someone who almost fell while she sees someone who, wowcool!, landed on his feet. She's honest and straightforward, and is always looking for an opportunity to be of service. This girl is ten years old, and yet, at her young age she commands admiration because she carries out what she knows about Christ's teachings, and she carries it out with confidence. It's simple fo her. She knows to be kind, so she's kind. She knows to treat others the way she wants to be treated, so she does. It's so simple for her: hear, and then do. It reminds me of what Jesus said about needing to become like a child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. The irony: her childlikeness makes her mature.

How beautiful it is when you see these qualities shining in a young person. It's so rare to see, but really beautiful. There are a couple kids like that at my church. It is very simple but hard to get back to the simplicity when you get lost in the complexity of sin.

 

[whatseekye]

When someone takes the time to listen to me and pay attention to me, I feel built up. As a Christian, I have a terrible need to share my walk with someone who would understand. I am a woman who is very serious about her faith. And it's hard. It shouldn't be hard but it is because it's so lonely. I find it very very rare to find a woman who is comfortable being transparent about her walk with the Lord. So often when I start to talk about my faith and how I feel, I either get ignored by the guys who don't know what to say to a woman. Or I feel that I am making the other women uncomfortable, like I'm a spiritual boaster or something. Really what I need is a mentor but I can understand that it's a lot to ask. I would instead just ask for an ear. So when people do listen, I am very grateful and encouraged in my faith.

It's a terrible thing to be a new believer and come in to a church where nobody wants to hear your enthusiasm, because either they are busy or they have become indifferent or they don't like to hear that someone else has more zeal than them. I try to remain sensitive to the needs of people at different places in their spiritual walk. For people who have been in the faith for a long time, I have found it's really good to ask them about how they became Christians. I have seen people really perk up spiritually that way. One person thanked me later for giving him back his first love. I thought that was so cool. (But I don't hear that kind of thing very often!)

I think all people can understand that it feels good when another person acts interested and patient to listen. Everyone wants to be heard. It's so important. SO even if a person just wants to talk about their daily trials with work or health or kids, it's so good and loving to listen. I think that I have had the most meaningful moments of connection with other Christians at my local church when I have just taken the time to talk. I would probably stay in the hall to talk to someone who was needy rather than leave them to attend the church service. We need more people with a heart for the people rather than for the programs.

The opposite of this is treating others like they aren't as important as you. I have seen that sometimes when a person speaks about something that concerns them, the other person will act impatient, or even break off the conversation for some reason. I think it must hurt that person to be dismissed so quickly. I have also seen it when the person who should be listening decides to interrupt and change the subject to something less "real" or threatening.

Sincerity builds up. Flattery decieves and tears down (eventually). Being willing to open yourself up to others is a builder. But hiding yourself is destructive to yourself and others. I think there is a lot of hiding taking place at church because everyone wants to appear better than they are. We should just be real and then real ministry can take place between believers.

You can't build up another Christian if you aren't willing to share yourself and be vulnerable to real relationship with them. Barging in with a phoney attitude and trying to fix other people is not going to build them up either. Sometimes you will run across people at church who always have some advice for another person. But they weren't listening enough in the first place.

Cultivating a desire to see other people grow as Christians, and to do the work of the Lord at church is building others up. So then, when a person starts to serve at church, you actually support them rather than having a jealous or suspicious attitude. I have to admit to you that this is a struggle for me because I feel so unappreciated and like my gifts are not being used. But I keep fighting against that sin, and pray a lot about it. And then I go to church with an attitude that God has adjusted for me. And then I can actually support and encourage the ministries going on around me. The opposite of this is when a person just feels justified to resent or be suspicious of other people who are serving at church, so then they gossip or say a critical word about them to other people. Unfortunately, I have seen this happen too much.

Also, I always pray first and foremost that other people will have their faith strengthened and be strengthened in Christ. I do this because when I got saved, I prayed that for myself and God made a dramatic increase in my faith. He gave me faith in the first place, and then He increased it dramatically so that I would know it was Him. SO I know that it's God who gives a person faith and makes it grow. And this is the most important thing, that our relationship with God would be as strong as can be. That is building others up in faith. If I could have one wish, it would be that God would bless me with the ability to inspire great love of God in other people.

 

[IKTCA]

...... I always PRAY FIRST .......

Thank you for the post. I am printing and pasting it in my journal for my own edification. I have some not-to-do's that I find I am doing myself.

Most of all, I say more than a new believer can accept. The end result is equivalent to tearing him down! By praying first, I receive discernment from the Lord, and I will be able to say what I must say, and keep the rest in my prayer for him.

Second is lack of prasing the new believer, not a fake praise but a heart-felt one. Paul's letters are always so. Praise them for their faith and show them one level up and gently urge them to be there. A genuine praise comes from genuine love for him. I lack this genuine love for new believers, and from this, lack of genuine praise.

I see "building others up" can be summarized by one verse: "all the laws and commands are summed in one commmand, that is, love your brothers and sisters." It is not a skill that can be taught, or an attitude that can be learned in a day. It comes from obedience to the commands of the Lord. Only as much effort I put into the obedience training, the Lord makes me a better build-upper.

I hope I can become a genuine friend to my brothers some day. I ask the Lord to bring that day soon.

Thank you again for the post. I will keep your advice, pray first.

 

[angelwind]

Thank you for the post. I am printing and pasting it in my journal for my own edification. I have some not-to-do's that I find I am doing myself.

Most of all, I say more than a new believer can accept. The end result is equivalent to tearing him down! By praying first, I receive discernment from the Lord, and I will be able to say what I must say, and keep the rest in my prayer for him.

Second is lack of prasing the new believer, not a fake praise but a heart-felt one. Paul's letters are always so. Praise them for their faith and show them one level up and gently urge them to be there. A genuine praise comes from genuine love for him. I lack this genuine love for new believers, and from this, lack of genuine praise.

I see "building others up" can be summarized by one verse: "all the laws and commands are summed in one commmand, that is, love your brothers and sisters." It is not a skill that can be taught, or an attitude that can be learned in a day. It comes from obedience to the commands of the Lord. Only as much effort I put into the obedience training, the Lord makes me a better build-upper.

I hope I can become a genuine friend to my brothers some day. I ask the Lord to bring that day soon.

Thank you again for the post. I will keep your advice, pray first.

I think this would be my biggest fault (that I can see anyway...I do not pray first).

 

[whatseekye]

Thank you for the post. I am printing and pasting it in my journal for my own edification. I have some not-to-do's that I find I am doing myself.

Most of all, I say more than a new believer can accept. The end result is equivalent to tearing him down! By praying first, I receive discernment from the Lord, and I will be able to say what I must say, and keep the rest in my prayer for him.

Second is lack of prasing the new believer, not a fake praise but a heart-felt one. Paul's letters are always so. Praise them for their faith and show them one level up and gently urge them to be there. A genuine praise comes from genuine love for him. I lack this genuine love for new believers, and from this, lack of genuine praise.

I see "building others up" can be summarized by one verse: "all the laws and commands are summed in one commmand, that is, love your brothers and sisters." It is not a skill that can be taught, or an attitude that can be learned in a day. It comes from obedience to the commands of the Lord. Only as much effort I put into the obedience training, the Lord makes me a better build-upper.

I hope I can become a genuine friend to my brothers some day. I ask the Lord to bring that day soon.

Thank you again for the post. I will keep your advice, pray first.

You are welcome! I am honored and humbled to also receive a word of Godly advice from you. Prayer is so important! I forget to pray too sometimes. And sometimes I lose my focus on love too. But you are so right that it is the center of everything we do. I found an interesting verse for you that relates to strengthening others in the faith. It's what Jesus prayed and exhorted Peter to do:

"And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." (Luke 22:31-32).

I believe the Lord would encourage you in your efforts to strengthen others, and would also help you resist the discouragement of the enemy. Sometimes we feel we have failed to help others but really we have. I am sure you have planted many seeds in the hearts of new believers. God bless you in all you do!

 

[whatseekye]

I think this would be my biggest fault (that I can see anyway...I do not pray first).

Me too! I have had to fight myself like crazy when I think, "I should pray for so and so later." I try to stop myself right then and there and just pray. I need to start doing that when I think, "I should pray about this situation later and ask for discernment."

 

[LegomasterJC]

I'm on the other extreme... I pray right away nice and short but don't pray for something or someone daily or regularly unless the Lord puts it on my heart.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I think of building up as constructive, loving guidance as to how a Christian should try to behave. Versus harping on their every sin, that would be tearing them down. BAsically it means trying to be helpful in their walk with Christ, but not letting that helpfullness turn into nagging a pesron all the time. IMHO.

I agree with blessedvegan we could use God's word to build each other up and encourage one another to be what He wants us to be, not to tear each other down.

Maybe when you do get to the point where there is more fellowship time with the people you attend church with you could suggest an accountability group of some kind where you all sit down and discuss what you're struggling with and pray for each other and research biblical truths and principles together.

I attended a church some years ago where people just left little small gifts for each other in the foyer and that really did lift my spirits when I saw something on that table for me. Or even more fun was to put a secret package on there for someone else and watch them smile when they noticed it and picked it up

Hope that wasn't too vague. If it was, please do let me know!