broken heart

[mskbean]

almost 2 yrs ago,I met a mean I fell in love with.we were planning so much together.then he said he didn't love me bc he felt God was telling him to be a priest.I was pregnant at the time,and he stayed with me.I kept the baby even though he and his family were trying to make me give him up for adoption.3 months after our son was born,he still wanted me to go through an adoption.now,for the last month,we had been going to marriage classes with out Bishop planning a wedding.last night,he told me he didn't think it was worth it,that he didn't feel the same way aka warm fuzzies like before,he loves me but he's trying to get the warm fuzzies back,and he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for our son.I told him being in love isn't about the warm fuzzies forever.He also said he can't be with me if I get jealous...a lot of which stems from mistakes he's made.I am...unsure of where to turn,where to go,what to pray for,who to pray to,what verses or books to read in the Bible...I just need a man to love me for me.I don't need somebody to support my son.I will be able to do that.But I need somebody who wants to be with me...

 

[nebulaJP]

But I need somebody who wants to be with me...

You are currently incomplete and having someone who wants to be with you will change this, correct?

 

[mskbean]

no.I just need him to make a decision and stop leading me on,if that's what's happening,so I can move on and not be stuck,then see that I've wasted time.I need to do what's best for my son

 

[nebulaJP]

OK, maybe ideally the best thing for a baby is to be raised by a couple. But any relationship you're in can go bad at any time and then he's being raised by a couple in an unhappy relationship. Is that better than being raised by a single mother? I don't know.

 

[Alienated]

almost 2 yrs ago,I met a mean I fell in love with.we were planning so much together.then he said he didn't love me bc he felt God was telling him to be a priest.I was pregnant at the time,and he stayed with me.I kept the baby even though he and his family were trying to make me give him up for adoption.3 months after our son was born,he still wanted me to go through an adoption.now,for the last month,we had been going to marriage classes with out Bishop planning a wedding.last night,he told me he didn't think it was worth it,that he didn't feel the same way aka warm fuzzies like before,he loves me but he's trying to get the warm fuzzies back,and he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for our son.I told him being in love isn't about the warm fuzzies forever.He also said he can't be with me if I get jealous...a lot of which stems from mistakes he's made.I am...unsure of where to turn,where to go,what to pray for,who to pray to,what verses or books to read in the Bible...I just need a man to love me for me.I don't need somebody to support my son.I will be able to do that.But I need somebody who wants to be with me...

Let me start by saying I am sorry for your heart break, and as a man it's another blow to our stature.


May I suggest if he wants to be a priest then he learn what dedication is, for God said Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
So just what does he really have to offer to GOD.

And if it's warm fuzzies he want's have him get a kitten. Because marriage has never been known to be a lifetime of warm fuzzies. And is self-delusional if he ever thought it would be, that's human rationalizing and self denial. In layman's terms it known as BS. And God don't take any of that !! He will NOT be mocked.

 

[nebulaJP]

I am...unsure of where to turn,where to go,what to pray for,who to pray to,what verses or books to read in the Bible...

It seems like there are 3 components to the problem. 1. His indecision, 2. how his indecision will affect your son's future and 3. your emotional pain over the situation. For the last one, emotional pain, here are the verses I use:

Job 27:3
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

3 For as long as life is in me,
 And the breath of God is in my nostrils,

Psalm 62:1
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

God Alone a Refuge from Treachery and Oppression.
For the choir director; according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.
62 My soul waits in silence for God only; 
From Him is my salvation.

Psalm 62:5
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

5 My soul, wait in silence for God only,
 For my hope is from Him.

Psalm 46:10
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

10 “Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Your thoughts and circumstances change constantly but awareness and the breath of God in your nostrils (or mouth if you have a cold) are always the same from birth to death, in most cases. So the way to get yourself relatively out of the temporal, constantly changing world of thought and circumstances (the world) and into the eternal, changeless realm of God where there is stillness and peace (the kingdom of God) is to stop trying to think your way out of the pain, but instead, pay attention to the breath of God in your nostrils. When you do this, your mind can't generate words as well or at all. This is being silent or still in your soul and if you spend adequate time here, it will have a really positive effect. I try to pay attention to my breath whenever I'm walking or driving or doing dishes, whatever, as well as the other sense perceptions, rather than putting the attention into fueling thought.

And whenever you do think about anything, flood it with acceptance. Never "mind" the stuff you think about, such as your boyfriend's ambivalence, because if you you mind it, or it bothers you, you are struggling against/resisting/opposing reality and this will make you depressed. It ALWAYS does.