Oh, okay, I found your original thread. As you had stated in your remarks, you come into play as the primary reason for your hurt and pain. I had an ungodly relationship with a woman for 2 years and God brought me to a place where he revealed to me than I held her and all my relationships with the women in my life higher than my relationship with Him. I looked it up in His word and He calls it idolatry. He saved you and He will not allow you to put anyone above Him because He truly loves you, as you know. You must counsel with Godly men in your church, for that is what the Body of Christ is for. This is a time of correction, but done in love. He told me in April of this year, do you like the hurt and pain and causing hurt and pain? I said no Lord, of course not! He said simply "Stop right where you are and read Psalm 51".
I love you my brother in the Lord!
You are in my prayers, in Jesus name!
Amen!