Broken Engagement=Divorce?

[Carri20]

Is a broken engagement the same as divorce?

This question never would have crossed my mind a year ago. I was once engaged to a man who was not a Christian and knew it was wrong, so I prayed about it and eventually my fiance and I parted ways peacefully. But several months later I was surfing the web for Christian sites and information, and I found a web page that explained how a broken engagement is the same thing to God as a divorce. I did not bookmark the page and I've tried to find it agian with no luck, but I remember some of the logic they used--Mary and Joseph were considered "husband and wife" during their betrothal, even before their actual marriage, and if Joseph had chosen not to marry Mary (because of her pregnancy) he would have had to literally divorce her. Since God clearly hates divorce and won't even allow an adulterer to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, I'm left to wonder if I'm free to some day get married. What is your understanding of scripture ont his subject?

 

[Carri20]

Thanks.. I never really thought about breaking an engagement as a good thing before. =) ..I guess I always just thought of it as a bad way to get out of a bad thing. But at the time I definitley felt that God wanted me out of the relationship. I can't deny that. I'm starting to really like a guy now who is a wonderful Christian devoted to Christ and doesn't mind my past, but ever since I saw that web page I've had this nagging fear that God would not want me to marry. I'm afraid I'll go to hell if I do, along with the person I would be married to. It's a big "what if" that keeps following me around. I've been praying about it for a long time. The better part of me believes that I can get married some day and it would not be in violation of God's laws, but there's still that little nagging fear. I can't tell if that little nagging fear is God's warning or Satan's deception.

 

[fishstix]

Different cultures (and different historical cultures) place different meanings on 'engagement' or 'betrothal' or whatever they choose to call in. In some cultures, engagement is indeed every bit as serious a committment as marriage and is actually a part of the marriage ceremony. In others, it is not. So the question of how serious it is to break off an engagement depends partially on exactly what the couple meant by 'engagement' in the first place.

 

[Tink]

Not to mention, we should not be unequally yoked. I am married to a non-Christian...

While I think that your advice was good, I'm just curious why you're posting in the singles forum when you're married?

In His love,
Tink

 

[Carri20]

While I think that your advice was good, I'm just curious why you're posting in the singles forum when you're married?

Probably the same reason I post in the Pregnancy forum even though I'm not pregnant--I used to be, and I feel I can help those who are. Everyone was single at one time, so I see nothing wrong with a married person offering help and advice to those who aren't. =)

 

[Tink]

Probably the same reason I post in the Pregnancy forum even though I'm not pregnant--I used to be, and I feel I can help those who are. Everyone was single at one time, so I see nothing wrong with a married person offering help and advice to those who aren't. =)

Right on. I was just under the impression that it was for single people only. I kinda felt safe thinking no married people would read my posts and think I'm dumb.

I'm dorky like that, so...lol

In His love,
Tink

 

[lady_of_god]

Probably the same reason I post in the Pregnancy forum even though I'm not pregnant--I used to be, and I feel I can help those who are. Everyone was single at one time, so I see nothing wrong with a married person offering help and advice to those who aren't. =)

Agreed, and she can offer a different perspective too.


as for the whole engagment thingy.. it's just a promise and when you don't live up to it, your breaking the promise but that's not the same as divorcing.

-Lady

 

[justasinner]

My dear lady.

I think I saw the same web site as you did a couple of months ago. I may have even saved it. I will let you know later when I have a minute or two to look on that computer.

Betrothal -- It Is the act of being married from the Bible point of view. It is bound by the law of God. And in most places that value Christian laws in the world you can be sued if you break a betrothal. Which means it can be seen as equal to a divorce.

While engagement is not. It is a man made agreement to be married as definition as a promise to be married. But this word is based on "man made laws" which are not binding to God which means that engagements are agreement that God will not hold a person to.

Now as a Christian one must live in the culture of God and do as God dictates not what the other (man made) cultures ask the Christian to do if they violates the laws of God.

With that said. You also stated that this man was not with the body of Christ at the time. Because of that any romantic involvement was not sanction in God eyes. Which means that you are Free to get involve with a man that is a Christian and try to have a wonderful life as most try to do.

So, do not worry about this.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Mary and Joseph were considered "married" due to Jewish law at that time.

 

[Sketcher]

Mary and Joseph were considered "married" due to Jewish law at that time.

Right, your engagement is not the same as a Jewish betrothal.

 

[Tink]

People outside of a particular board category can still have useful input Sorry if I stepped on toes.But I too have gone through a failed engagement

No toes stepped on here, friend!

I just didn't know we could do that, or I would have been posting all over the place!

Sorry if it offended!

In His love,
Tink

 

[Tink]

lol

Twisted, your avatar always makes me laugh.

In His love,
Tink

 

[Sketcher]

I took my brain out to polish it, and I forgot where it was, and I just started putting this chicken in here, you know what I mean?

 

[Tink]

Oh no offence taken I seriously don't want to step on toes so I'm glad that I didn't, hehe.

Oh yeah totally post all over the place, rofl. The first time I was with CF, I stuck to one little section of the forum and met like.. no one. When I came back awhile later under this new username I started over by chatting *everywhere* about anything I had any input on that I thought may be useful/interesting. I met more people that way

And boy am I off topic *zips it*

~ ~

Wooohoooo!

In His love,
Tink

 

[Carri20]

Hey thanks so much for your advice, guys. =) I really appreciate it.

 

[vibrant]

While you are free to go anywhere, I don't think you can just post anywhere you like because you feel like it. These forums are categorized for a reason. I'm not saying you can't post here if you're married, but it's not exactly your right. You'd be a guest, it's a privilege.

According to wvmtnkid, "While the Singles forum is a place that is a safe haven for Christian Singles to come and enjoy the fellowship with other Christian Singles, it is also a place where Christian Singles can come for support and encouragment with issues and struggles they may be having."

Found here, http://www.christianforums.com/t1066292-please-read-before-posting.html

 

[justasinner]

...
Since God clearly hates divorce and won't even allow an adulterer to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, I'm left to wonder if I'm free to some day get married. What is your understanding of scripture ont his subject?

I am not sure were you got that idea about adulterers.

But since Jesus, forgave the sin of Mary Magdalen that some say that she was a prostitue, then God can forgive your sin of having sex. Which means that you can Marry some Christian guy some day in the future.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You did the right thing by calling it off before it was too late.
If you had gotten married and then divorced, you wouldn't be asking this question right now.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I have an ex fiance....

Soooo, my two cents:
Making certain promises including the word forever carry a certain weight. I believe God is very upset when an individual makes these promises without being as certain as a human can be of his ability to carry them out.

However, if the issue is regarding spiritual compatibility (believer/nonbeliever), and the couple is not yet married, it is different. While still painful for the other party involved, a believer's spiritual health takes precendence in this situation.

 

[OhhJim]

But several months later I was surfing the web for Christian sites and information, and I found a web page that explained how a broken engagement is the same thing to God as a divorce.

There's a lot of misinformation on the Internet. What does your pastor say?