Broke someone's heart

[Arikereba]

It's supposed to be rotten only when you're the one whose heart is getting broken, right?

I left someone I really cared about. I think that I did the right thing. I think I had good reasons for it. I think that if we had stayed together, we would both have ended up miserable.

But that doesn't make a difference, somehow. Still, there's the terrible shame that I led him on even though I didn't mean to, didn't even realize I was doing it. The guilt for breaking his heart and leaving him alone after I'd led him to trust me. For not trying hard enough to work things out, even though my in my head I don't think that would have been possible.

And if I can screw up this much in relationships, lack so much self-awareness, then what hope do I ever have of finding someone? If my standards were so high that a guy who really loved me and usually treated me right wasn't good enough, do I have to choose between being alone or miserable?

Somehow I've already come to believe that Good Christian Girls don't end relationships...

 

[Cherub8]

It's supposed to be rotten only when you're the one whose heart is getting broken, right?

Nope. I know what it's like to end a relationship. In my case, it was a mutual decision, with both of us being heartbroken in the process.

But that doesn't make a difference, somehow. Still, there's the terrible shame that I led him on even though I didn't mean to, didn't even realize I was doing it. The guilt for breaking his heart and leaving him alone after I'd led him to trust me. For not trying hard enough to work things out, even though my in my head I don't think that would have been possible.

The best thing to do is pray often for him and the entire situation. I've found that is the best remedy.

And if I can screw up this much in relationships, lack so much self-awareness, then what hope do I ever have of finding someone? If my standards were so high that a guy who really loved me and usually treated me right wasn't good enough, do I have to choose between being alone or miserable?

God has used this relationship to teach you something. Learn from it. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

God has created a perfect match for you.
Apply the wisdom He has given you and step into a new day.

God Bless,
Cherub.

 

[fishstix]

Somehow I've already come to believe that Good Christian Girls don't end relationships...

If God doesn't want someone in a relationship that they are in, then ending it is the right thing to do. It probably isn't the easiest thing to do - but the right thing isn't always the easiest.

 

[justasinner]

It's supposed to be rotten only when you're the one whose heart is getting broken, right?

I left someone I really cared about. I think that I did the right thing. I think I had good reasons for it. I think that if we had stayed together, we would both have ended up miserable.

But that doesn't make a difference, somehow. Still, there's the terrible shame that I led him on even though I didn't mean to, didn't even realize I was doing it. The guilt for breaking his heart and leaving him alone after I'd led him to trust me. For not trying hard enough to work things out, even though my in my head I don't think that would have been possible.

And if I can screw up this much in relationships, lack so much self-awareness, then what hope do I ever have of finding someone? If my standards were so high that a guy who really loved me and usually treated me right wasn't good enough, do I have to choose between being alone or miserable?

Here are three ways you can look at this pain:
1. Any time you destroy something you will feel bad about it. Not just the other person but the person who started to end the relationship. Because as we live in the body of Christ there should only be creation. And breaking up is the destruction of a relationship which can not live in the body of Christ. Therefore, the destruction of your relationship or any other relationship should be painful.

2. You could think about like the death of a family member. You feel sad and will miss that person. But if you think about their pain is no long here, if they are a Christian then they are waiting to be reborn as God wants them. So you would think, that you should be glad that the suffering has end for them, but you still feel bad. The pain teaches us that every day with that person was priceless and we will miss them so we should not waste what time we have with others because we never know what may happen in the future.

3. You can also look at it this way. You have cause this person pain when you broke up with him and God is allowing you to pay for this pain now, so you may learn from it. In order, to help you understand what went wrong in this relationship so that it does not happen again.

And if I can screw up this much in relationships, lack so much self-awareness, then what hope do I ever have of finding someone? If my standards were so high that a guy who really loved me and usually treated me right wasn't good enough, do I have to choose between being alone or miserable?

Without know some details about why you broke up, I can not speak about your standards completely. But you will find someone else. And any one that does not treat you with the same standard that you have is not right for you.

A man or any man that you choose to be with MUST treat you right at all times, no exceptions. And you said that he "really loved me and usually treated me right." The word "usually" kind of suggest that he at times might not have treated you right and therefore this may be a warning to you that it could get worst latter.

Somehow I've already come to believe that Good Christian Girls don't end relationships...

Good Christian Girls always have to protect themselves from bad people or evil. And in doing so, they may have to end relationships or in some cases leave the area. So "Good Christian Girls do end bad relationship and hopefully before and thing else happens."

Bid you peace my Lady!
​

 

[Katty]

Somehow I've already come to believe that Good Christian Girls don't end relationships...

"Good Christian Girls" do the right thing even when it tears their hearts to peices. Hang in there.

~Katty

 

[Sketcher]

Still, there's the terrible shame that I led him on even though I didn't mean to, didn't even realize I was doing it. The guilt for breaking his heart and leaving him alone after I'd led him to trust me. For not trying hard enough to work things out, even though my in my head I don't think that would have been possible.

Well, maybe you can learn from this and find out what you do that does lead people on. If you've been staying in a relationship that you knew was doomed for a while, then I can see where you'd be at fault. Finding out what words and actions communicate what to another is important. I mean, for example, if holding hands meant more to him than it did to you, and you assumed that it meant the same thing, that is careless.

And if I can screw up this much in relationships, lack so much self-awareness, then what hope do I ever have of finding someone? If my standards were so high that a guy who really loved me and usually treated me right wasn't good enough, do I have to choose between being alone or miserable?

Somehow I've already come to believe that Good Christian Girls don't end relationships...

First, you can become more self-aware. Second, if God meets all your deepest needs you should be satisfied in Him and you wouldn't nescesarily look for a different guy. The man who really loved you and usually treated you right would (in theory) be good enough because God would be satisfying what your man could not.

 

[infantyouthpastor]

I ended a relationship once, solely because God revealed to me that I wasn't supposed to be with that person for the rest of my life. I really liked the girl, and she was really good lookin', so naturally as a guy, I didn't want to end it, but God kept on me until I did. I knew that I had broken her heart, and I apologized for it. However, I wasn't heartbroken until, at her funeral (she died tragically in a freak car accident), her best friend came up to me and told me that I was her first love. Man, did I feel like dirt. But, all in all, I knew that God had wanted it to happen, so it did. Just remember to trust God in what he's doing, or what he's going to do. He'll provide, and He's got everything under control, whether we think he does or not...