Bright N Bubblie!

[StarryEyedPea]

Just wondering whether there are other people out there who have been stereptyped into being a "loud and bubbly" person, who is always there for every one else, with a smile on their face, or not if case need be, but still there for others.

Just wondering if there is anyone else out there who puts the smile on, and carries on the bright and bubbly posture even when their heart is breaking inside and they are struggling?

Sometimes people dont expect others who have a confidence about them, or a bubbly, bright personality to suffer depression; and sometimes that in itself can wear you down....

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?

 

[oneandlonely]

yeah, I have

When I am upset I will just put on a smile, and act like I am fine, that way people leave me alone. I have actually had people telly me that I am to happy all of the time , their crazy...

 

[BlackRain]

that's me all the time. i hate people to know what i'm actually feeling. i honestly think i'm afraid to feel pain. i'm afraid to accept the truth about things because i don't want to cause myself pain. i guess i'm just scared to let people know what's goin on because then it becomes real to me and then i feel pain...and that i hate.

 

[els_bells]

Sounds very familiar to me.
I live behind so many masks of being this happy, cheerful, smiley person but inside so much is going on. It gets very tiring always putting on a mask and trying to be someone your not.

 

[Tyeise]

In many cases it is much easier to "put a mask on" than to risk showing who we truly are. And it is a risk, because there will always be people who reject you, no matter who you are.

But - if you can share who you really are, then you can make true friend! You can know that they love you for who you are, not for who they "think" you are. It's hard, it's scary, but... it's worth it!

 

[pockleberry]

I would quote what you just said about making a true friend but i've not quite got the hang of all this yet. I totally agree with that and sometimes it's better to show the real you...I wish I had with all the ppl that know me cause now I just feel like a fake cause ppl don't know who I really am and that makes me think that maybe all the friendships I have are fake too!

 

[Tyeise]

Honey - at age 15 most people are still struggling with who they are, and if they don't know who they are, they have trouble sharing themselves. You are also at an age where you are learning more about social skills. This is a normal part of growing up. The point is to keep trying, and to ask the Lord to help you.

The nicest part is that you can start by being completely honest with God. We tend to forget (or don't wish to admit) that He knows us completely anyway - and still loves us unconditionally. So you can practice telling God everything you feel and all that happens. As you do that more, it becomes more natural for you, and maybe you can begin to extend it to people in your life. It doesn't have to happen all at once, you can just share a little more about yourself a bit at a time.

 

[StarryEyedPea]

Hi Tyeise.

I understand what you are saying. About the honesty bit. Being honest with other people about how I really feel is a big struggle.

I do find it easier to be the bright and bubblie people expect, especially when leading things. I even managed to smile at church whilst leading a youth night 2 hours after a family member died. One who I had spent the majority of the previous night sat with. However I did feel I would be dishonouring God in a way and letting people down if i hadnt carried on ...

Again, what you say about rejection is true, There are always people there to reject, and its an issue I have, and one i perhaps started to deal with. Along side the honesty thing. I went to see a counsellor for 12 weeks and it took about 10 to start being totally honest!

I find it hard being an up and down person, depression wise, and sometimes find it hard to put the mask on, however I always manage it. Always manage to put the mask on no matter what.

By doing that though, I wonder whether I am being a bad example to young people I work with. Although I am open with them about having suffered depression previously, and I use it and the reasons as part of my testimony.

But it dosnt change the really hard days ...
I dont know, is what I am typing making any sense at all?
Hope so

SEP xx

 

[pockleberry]

hey i don't no if ur message is open to anyone to reply to or just tyeise but ithough i would reply anyway cause u dont really have to pay any attention to what i say. I just wanted to say that yes u were making sence and the fact that you've told your youth group about your depression is a really brave thing that not many ppl who have had depression could do you sound like you are a very strong person!

 

[StarryEyedPea]

hi pockle berry.
Yeah it was an open message, but had just titled it to Ty because I was responding to what she had said mostly! sorry!

thanks for your posts...

depression isnt the best or easiest thing to have or suffer, and many many people know that, and i know i am not alone in that .

SEP xx