when you guys broke up with people did you throw away all the memories? my ex threw away EVERYTHING i ever gave her. should i do the same? what did you do?
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Breakups and Memories
- Thread starter f U z ! o N
- Start date
charligirl
Senior Veteran
I had a couple of serious relationships before I got married... I kept some stuff for ages, Some valuable things I kept as I knew there was no reasons for keeping them other than I just liked them, other stuff had a huge pull on it and I could only get rid of it once I had dealt with the pain and closed the door. I have still got photos though, they are part of my life and show things as they were at certain points in my life, I don;t still look at them and yearn.
It's really up to you. Things an ex has given you have sentimental value, they keep them alive somehow in your memory - you need to ask yourself why you would want to do that.
It's really up to you. Things an ex has given you have sentimental value, they keep them alive somehow in your memory - you need to ask yourself why you would want to do that.
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HolyOne87
Call Me A Sinner, Call Me A Saint..
all the stuff my ex(of 3 years gave me) i threw in a box and it went in my closet..some stuff I threw out(old notes and stuff).
And I am giving the stuffed animals he gave me to needy children..so it doesnt go to waste(if i threw them out). I told this to my parents, "it is my trash, but it could be these kids' treasure".
And I am giving the stuffed animals he gave me to needy children..so it doesnt go to waste(if i threw them out). I told this to my parents, "it is my trash, but it could be these kids' treasure".
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~Beauty_from_Pain~
By His grace, For His glory
- Jul 29, 2005
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There are only two guys that I have dated before my current boyfriend. One was for a week (I found out that he was married, so that ended that) and he had given me a nice poem. I still have it, somewhere.
The other was a guy in high school that I went out with my whole senior year. I never was able to throw out the notes that he had passed to me, but they are in a box somewhere and I never read them. I'm not sure why I keep them. And then he also gave me a few books, which I think are around on the shelf, and I still have the flower he gave me for prom (dried) and I think there are a few pictures of him somewhere in my senior yearbook and senior journal for a class. That's about it.
I think that it's not wrong to keep these things so long as they don't hinder your current relationship. Perhaps overtime these things will get thrown out to. When the time comes, you'll know.
I've been dating my current bf for 2 years and nearly 8 months, so if we broke up, I would have to put all his pictures away and the letters that he wrote me. I don't think that I could bear to throw them out though for a long time.
The other was a guy in high school that I went out with my whole senior year. I never was able to throw out the notes that he had passed to me, but they are in a box somewhere and I never read them. I'm not sure why I keep them. And then he also gave me a few books, which I think are around on the shelf, and I still have the flower he gave me for prom (dried) and I think there are a few pictures of him somewhere in my senior yearbook and senior journal for a class. That's about it.
I think that it's not wrong to keep these things so long as they don't hinder your current relationship. Perhaps overtime these things will get thrown out to. When the time comes, you'll know.
I've been dating my current bf for 2 years and nearly 8 months, so if we broke up, I would have to put all his pictures away and the letters that he wrote me. I don't think that I could bear to throw them out though for a long time.
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
How do you know she threw everything away? She either is trying to make sure you realize it's really over or she's just cruel. Why would she need to tell you she threw it out? Just seems mean.
I'm a modified pack rat. I don't think I would ever throw away pictures, but they're just packed away. They could be useful for entertainment for my kids. I have one picture of my ex-bf and I together that I never framed (our relationship was over way too quick). He's become a prayer partner and helper so I wouldn't want to get rid of the picture. I have it in a drawer that I see every once in a while when I'm putting stuff away. I don't have any pictures of my ex-h in my room, but my son does and he's in some family photos displayed near the front door.
I'm a modified pack rat. I don't think I would ever throw away pictures, but they're just packed away. They could be useful for entertainment for my kids. I have one picture of my ex-bf and I together that I never framed (our relationship was over way too quick). He's become a prayer partner and helper so I wouldn't want to get rid of the picture. I have it in a drawer that I see every once in a while when I'm putting stuff away. I don't have any pictures of my ex-h in my room, but my son does and he's in some family photos displayed near the front door.
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Mrs. Enigma
Transformers was awesome!!!!
I do not know about break ups, but my sis got rid of all her other guy stuff before getting married, you know, pics, gifts, etc.
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Arclight610
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My ex put all of my stuff in a box. I burned all of hers. Not in effigy like "I hate you! Take this memories!", but thats how I deal with my refuse. I use the prom glass to store coins in. I also use a guitar strap that she gave me. Is it just me, or is it hard watching an ex move on with another person?
-TJ-
-TJ-
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I
Inperfected
Guest
I kept a lot of the stuff he'd given me, but now I only have 2 items.
For a long time, my fiance wanted me to keep it, so I wasn't throwing it for him or for spite. But then came 4 months ago where I was celaning my stuff out and getting rid of things I wouldn't use. I gave a ring back to him, threw out notes and a book he gave me, and got rid of virutally everything.. Why? Because I didn't want to be erminded of his romanticness. I don't want to think of guys other than my fiance in that way, and whilst they are nice memories, I have a new present.
For a long time, my fiance wanted me to keep it, so I wasn't throwing it for him or for spite. But then came 4 months ago where I was celaning my stuff out and getting rid of things I wouldn't use. I gave a ring back to him, threw out notes and a book he gave me, and got rid of virutally everything.. Why? Because I didn't want to be erminded of his romanticness. I don't want to think of guys other than my fiance in that way, and whilst they are nice memories, I have a new present.
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The Julikenz
God is not a misogynist
When i dealt with my first serious break-up, i couldn't part with anything. Not a text message. Not a picture. Not movie tickets from dates. Not the pressed flower. Not the memmories. 
As the months passed, i accepted peace in my heart and began to part with the trivial things that once seemed so valuable - when your inbox becomes so full messages need to be deleted to recieve more and you don't want to delete any of the ones from months ago saying "hey bub, blah blah blah..." - you know you've got a problem.
I kept alot of the pictures, and i kept the flower, but they no longer mean the same thing they once did, they are merely good memmories of good times, which have their place in my past.
I wouldn't advise massively chucking everything out, try looking at the reasons why you are hanging on, and seek wisdom and knowledge through prayer about the things you don't have peace with. It's okay to keep things, just make sure you're not cheating yourself and hanging on for the wrong reasons.
As the months passed, i accepted peace in my heart and began to part with the trivial things that once seemed so valuable - when your inbox becomes so full messages need to be deleted to recieve more and you don't want to delete any of the ones from months ago saying "hey bub, blah blah blah..." - you know you've got a problem.
I kept alot of the pictures, and i kept the flower, but they no longer mean the same thing they once did, they are merely good memmories of good times, which have their place in my past.I wouldn't advise massively chucking everything out, try looking at the reasons why you are hanging on, and seek wisdom and knowledge through prayer about the things you don't have peace with. It's okay to keep things, just make sure you're not cheating yourself and hanging on for the wrong reasons.
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HolyOne87
Call Me A Sinner, Call Me A Saint..
Arclight610 said:
yeah it is hard to watch an ex move on to another person. i went through so much pain when my first and only ex moved on to someone else immediately after he broke it off with me.
So its not just you. Im sure others felt the same.
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hasnoname
Senior Member
f U z ! o N said:
My relationship ended with my 'high school sweetheart' telling me she was leaving me for my youth pastor (who I really respected). Because she told me over the phone, I met her in a parking lot to talk, but out of anger packed the tons of pictures and everything else into one trashbag and gave it to her and drove away. Didnt really talk to her for about 6 months after that...but God provided forgiveness.
They ended up getting married but now, over a year later...it still hurts somewhat. Even though I am in a great, wonderful, God driven relationship now that blows what I had experienced in the past away...it is a deep scar that sometimes hurts for no reason.
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