breaking up and getting back together.

[renewhope]

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[Bubba1301]

The same reason that God continues to call us back to him when we turn away.

I have a good friend who dated a girl in college for a while. After a few weeks of dating he broke it off because he felt that she needed to learn some things before they continued in their relationship. He also had things to learn. About two years later they got back together and are now married - in my opinion they are now the perfect couple - yes I'm biased because they are my friends

 

[Weasel7711]

i think generally it doesnt work, somtimes it does although its rare

I broke up and got back together with my first girlfriend 3 times over a period of 3 years. Didnt work out too well. I think I was just lonely and didnt think I could do much better. (to be honest)

 

[joyouspirit]

For now, I don't think it would be wise for me to get back with my ex husband. Although I have forgiven him, some of the hurts are still there, and I have been separated from him 7 years and divorced for one year. If I just get back with him for the sake of the children, I would be lying to myself and I believe it would just hurt the children more, in my opinion.

God bless!!!

 

[renewhope]

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[Mrs. Luther073082]

I don't do getting back together.

 

[OhhJim]

A lot depends on why you broke up, doesn't it? I mean, there's a huge difference between breaking up with a man because you're going to college 3,000 miles away and want to be free to pursue other relationships, and breaking up with a man because he abused you and slept with your mother.

 

[Silhillian]

Generally, I wouldn't think that getting back together would be a good idea - but I suppose it depends on the circumstances. If you can identify the reason for breaking up and it's something that you can both work on and improve, then maybe things would turn out for the best. Also, as has been said, people can change, so maybe what was the "barrier" the first time round isn't there any longer so maybe it would work out. But I think that "boomerang" relationships - where a couple seem to split up and get back together on and off - aren't such a good idea, as it would suggest that there's some underlying factor in the way. But that's just my opinion.

 

[g85]

Depends... but I prob wouldnt. I dont know, its like... you wont be able to do that once married so yeah

 

[favoredbyGod]

My ex-boyfriend and I got back together after we had broken up the first time and as of recently we ended up breaking up over the same issue.

So in most cases, the reason why you broke up in the first place will probably be the one to cause a second break up.

People don't change overnight and neither do the issues that cause you to break up in the first place.

It also depends on the situation. For example, If they have a bad habit of being annoying then that can be changed or if they are messy. But if it is something like cheating, physical abuse, or lying then take my advice and STAY FAR FAR AWAY from that person.

People like that usually don't change!

 

[Im_A]

what are your thoughts?

i've always been such a proponent of "there's a reason why we/they broke up" or "why would i go back to someone who has caused me so much pain?"

but i see couples breaking up and getting back together all the time, whether it's a one day break up or a year long break up. Anyone ever go through this? and if so, why did y'all get back together? or for those who haven't, would you get back together? why or why not?

sometimes i wonder if mistakes happen, lies being told accidently, obligations being forgranted, people taking the other person forgranted for a time that well things hit the fan and it's time to breakup, and if the point comes back where the two can fix the problems, why not give a second chance?

now i say that, with never giving a second chance back to a girl. i'm in a situation right now where i kind of am for the first time, and it's very frustrating for me to be honest to give second chances in regards to relationships. failure to me equates to sin, and i cannot stand it, and very weak to "failure", meaning i do not deal well with it when it happens. but every mule has to be forced to drink water once in awhile to learn a lesson or two and we'll see what happens. either way i'll be learning somthing valuable for life, love and relationships. my predictions are, i'll be learning something useful for the next lady that comes in my life (but i can be terribly pessimistic or as i see it, realistic at times.)

 

[sweetlambofgod]

rarely works and I dont recommend it

 

[Blank123]

i think it would depend entirely on the situation, what the original breakup was caused by, if the issues that had led to the breakup had really been worked through, etc...

 

[California Dreamin']

I knew Paul since I was 14 and we tried "dating" throughout high school, off and on. He was extremely immature! We broke up and got back together. I used the quotation marks because it was NOT serious at all then.

So last year we ran into each other. I was checking out the place where he worked, and then when I was in training he helped me study, etc. He was interested in me, and I wasn't interested but we had a great time together so I gave him another chance and hoped he would have matured after the years.

Well, I was at the jewelry store getting one of my rings looked at and then he went and asked about an engagement ring and put it on layaway. We talked about getting married and stuff and there was a ring I liked for a long time, etc.

So then all was great, sorta.

He broke up with me. I never thought that HE would break up with me, I figured I would have to break up with him, it was a total shock!!! He said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Well, what exactly were we doing then?!?!

So he asked me to go to movies and stuff on different times now that we aren't together. I got stood up over and over again!

I've had enough of that and we will not be getting back together. It has hurt so much.

 

[Periann]

That's terrible canadiancarebear...the whole getting stood up thing is soo ill-mannered and I can totally see why then you don't want to get back with him if that opportunity came back to you.

I agree with LittleTigress about the original cause of the breakup etc. in determining whether the couple will get back together. However I've noticed with a lot of people who do break up and are on again off again sorta people they never really distanced themselves during the "off again" period. They would still remain in fairly close contact and their relationship would invariably just start up again. I have a good friend who is like that with her boyfriend whom she has been dating for 5+ years. Whenever I hear that they break up (something they do every few months or more) I don't say anything because I know they'll eventually end up seeing each other again.

Actually I never really say anything to my friends when they break up with their S/O bc I know there is always a chance for them to get back together...I don't want to be the person who slipped up and criticizes another person's ex to have it bite me later.

 

[California Dreamin']

Come to think of it, my mom and my stepdad broke up once, before that got engaged or anything.

He wrote her a long heart felt letter... and they got back together and things have been pretty good since.

So there's a story there about it working. But a condensed version of my post earlier, it is usually not worth it!

In the words of Dr. Phil "Past actions predict the future"! It is such common sense but we all can forget that and lose sight sometimes of reality, I know I have!

 

[renewhope]

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