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Breaking up advice!!!

dastangman

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Jul 20, 2004
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Maybe I'll start with this, me and my girlfriend had been dating for about 4 months and things were extremely smooth, then just out of thin air she became very confused. Started off with let's slow down, even though we were going extremely slow, and then to just friends, and I know it's only been a couple day, but I tried to talk to her on IM and it's like she doesn't even wanna talk about stuff other then relationship, and of course she doesn't wanna talk about that.
I'll give you a run down of what I went through and maybe you can give me some opinions?
I treated her like lady, besides family and God, she was first when we were together, not to extremes, but basically as far as you can respect a girlfriend, I did. I tried not to rush things and waited for her to tell her friends to tell me to make a move like hold hands. I can't just say Hey you made a mistake, but honestly I feel that way, I look around and see abusive relationships, selfish relationships and yet the girl stays in them...I put my name into 1st Corinthians 13:1-13 in the agape sense of friendship GF/BF love...and I look at it and I didn't mess up at all, sure I had my mistakes, she had a best guy friend and being a guy I seen things about him that she didn't, and she stayed his best friend because she is a rescuer, but she will not be able to rescue him, it'll take another guy, and he sent me a HATE EMAIL...which i was told to disregard but I just can't put that out of my head that someone hates me and calls me a goodie goodie tushu christian.
She said she was not ready for a relationship, and maybe that's true, but is it wrong for me to hope that she will realize or one day be ready for one and want to come back to me? And how would I encourage her that I'm still there for her, I'm not mad nor upset and understand her feelings. What will she do about this kid that is her best friend? Will she hopefully realize that he is bad news?
She talked to her friends and to this best friend and to her parents for guidance, but what do you think they would say? They want their friend back, the guy friend hates me, and the mother who knows her daughter isn't ready to date isn't gonna encourage her. But I really feel that i can treat her right, and she was the only girl who I ever really felt different about...ya look at girls and some just seem like friends, others are just that would be wierd to date her, but she was different, and things just fell into place, i wasn't looking for a relationship, it just happened, and it was doing good. Then just one night, everything changed, literally, no one knew, not even her that she would feel this way. So, if it really was that she just realized she wasn't ready, then do you think she will be one day. Does her "let's just be friends" really mean that? How do I help her notice or encourage her back to me, i know you'll say it'll happen if God wants it too, but i beleive that God will give you chances and you either blow them or achieve them with His help? I've been praying about it, and I'm still confused...any help on how to get through this is appreciated.
 

lady_of_god

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I'm not really sure I understand what was going on, but the bottomline is you can't "encourage her back"... sorry but you just have to give her space. If she says she wants to be friends than you have to respect her wishes. If her guy friend is bad news than you don't have to tell her because she will see it for herself soon enough.

Sorry your confused but keep praying about things, the Lord will show you... that's about all you can do.

-Lady
 
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sweetdarlin2u

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If this is truly the case and you did treat her so well, then just let her go. I heard a quote one time but I can't remember it exactly so I'll paraphrase: "If you let her go and she never comes back, it was never meant to be. But if you let her go and she comes back...it was meant to be forever." Put her into God's hands and trust that He knows what is best for you both. In the future she may decide... *** I made a HUGE mistake.. and come running into your arms. Or, she may not - and all that means is she was not the one and God has someone much better out there for you.

Trust Him. Read Psalms 37:4-5. :)

in Christ,
danielle b
 
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