Breaking Promises

[Mr. Brightside]

Any of you been in a relationship where promises were made and then later you realized that you shouldn't of said such a thing?

How do you justify this? Do you just keep your word even though now you know what you said is wrong or not what God or you wants?

 

[plum]

I agree with Blue. It's important to be honest sincere, and straightforward about this issue. If you try your best to fulfill a promise, but yet it doesn't work out, tell the truth. Effort and intention shows your ehart and your abilities.

And it's also a lesson to us about what promises are for and when or when not to make promises.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

if there is a logical reason why u cant keep the promise then u should explain this to the other person and hopefully they will understand. be careful with promises in the future

 

[KristianJ]

Not much that I can really add to what's been said already. I guess it's important to reinforce the implications of a promise or anything you say that starts with a phrase such as "I will...". No matter what the scale of the promise is, you gotta think about the effect of saying it before you say it, and whether it's something that would upset your partner if you couldn't follow through with the promise. But an honest and thoughtful reason as to why you can't keep that promise will definitely be more helpful than you inexplicably never following through.

As for your initial question, I have made promises and realised that I couldn't effectively follow through on them in previous relationships, and probably handled those times a bit less wisely than I could have. But in my present relationship, I'm more careful to assess my limitations before I make any sorts of promises that are likely to have a noticeable effect on the relationship.

 

[Ceris]

If you made a promise that you now know you can't keep, you need to tell this to the person you promised it to and inform them that this is no longer a promise you will be able to keep because of [enter reason here]

I don't believe that you need to follow through on a promise that you now believe you cannot fulfill. But don't BREAK the promise as the method of the person finding that out.. instead, talk to them about it and inform them well ahead of time that things have changed and the promise you made you will no longer in good conscience be able keep.

~ ~

What she said.

 

[Carri20]

There's definitely some good advice in this thread.

I made a promise to marry someone once. Well, it was implied with the accepting of the engagement ring (which turned out to be a promise ring passed off as an engagement ring...) Anyway the point is he wasn't a Christian and I knew what the Bible says about being "equally yoked" but I wanted to marry him anyway. Fortunately God gave me the wisdom, strength, and courage to break off the engagement before I made the biggest mistake of my life. Now I'm a lot better off for it. So I do think it's better to break a promise than to keep it if you know it's wrong. Pray and ask God what you should do. If your heart wants to please Him, He will direct you and you'll know what to do. Even if you still feel unsure of yourself, remember that He's with you.