Boyfriends dad doesnt like me all of a sudden.

[HiddenMe]

My boyfriends dad doesn't like me anymore because I don't know how to cook??
So I been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I never had a problem with his parents. I have never had a conversation with his dad only his mom (just last year I started going to his house) I'm 19, in college, no tattoos, dress modestly, speak correctly..etc. All of a sudden last night, my bf told me his dad told him not to bring me around anymore. That he (bf) needs to find somebody who will cook for him. His dad is basing this off of never seeing me cook (I only go to his house to watch movies) and that he sees us eat fast food. Like really? First of all, I do cook. I'm not an expert and I don't cook every week. I'm still very young and am currently learning because I know I want to be able to cook for my bf when we live together. A lot of women learn to cook once they are on their own or just married. I grew up in a house with 5 other kids. My moms #1 priority was not to teach us how to cook.

So is his dad right by not liking me anymore just because I'm not a freaking cooking expert at 19?????? His dad doesn't even know I'm freaking learning!!! That's what [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]es me off. He's so traditional. Must I add that his parents (back when his dad liked me) wanted him to get married and have kids with me already?? My bf is 21. SERIOUSLY? IM FREAKING 19 NOT 25 (By the way. He married my bfs mom when she was 19 and that's when she learned to cook ]

I also wanna ask , if his dad doesn't like me, does it mean that I'm not meant to be with my bf?

 

[dayhiker]

Sorry HiddenMe that your experiencing that.

I guess I'd talk to your BF and see what he thinks of his fathers point of view. Make a decision together.

Maybe learn a meal to cook and ask his mom if you can good the evening meal some evening.
I guess it would be too to get his mom's point of view on things as well.

 

[All Souls]

I wouldn't worry about it; in time things will probably settle down. If they don't then you can re-visit it then.

 

[Sketcher]

Learn how to cook something really good, and serve it either to your boyfriend or your boyfriend and his family. Might go with just the boyfriend first, if you can impress him with that, he's probably going to talk about it if he's like most guys. If he can hype you up to his dad, this may be the end of it. Besides, that'll give you more time to get better before going straight to the family with what you make.

 

[BigMat]

So you have been dating your boyfriend for four years -- since he was a teenager -- and have been a regular guest at his parent's house for a year and, in all that time, his dad has never taken enough interest in his son to have even one small conversation with you. In addition to that, factors that have nothing to do with love, intimacy, spiritual and emotional compatibility are how his father determines whether or not a woman is worthy of a man's love. I think if I were you, I would make it a point to determine exactly what poor parenting habits, undesirable views regarding women, and improper behavior as a husband your boyfriend might have learned from his father growing up.

Marriage is about things that are a lot more important than cooking skills. The ability to cook shouldn't even be on the list when considering someone for marriage. If it is on the list, then I'd say that person isn't ready for marriage. They are likely marrying for the wrong reasons. In the case of someone who is already married, such as your boyfriend's dad, I shudder to think what that person's spouse must endure. It makes me wonder what other low priority factors are focused on in lieu of the things that truly matter in a marital relationship -- things such as unconditionally loving and desiring your wife regardless of her abilities, physically tangible traits, and her circumstances.

 

[HiddenMe]

So you have been dating your boyfriend for four years -- since he was a teenager -- and have been a regular guest at his parent's house for a year and, in all that time, his dad has never taken enough interest in his son to have even one small conversation with you. In addition to that, factors that have nothing to do with love, intimacy, spiritual and emotional compatibility are how his father determines whether or not a woman is worthy of a man's love. I think if I were you, I would make it a point to determine exactly what poor parenting habits, undesirable views regarding women, and improper behavior as a husband your boyfriend might have learned from his father growing up.

Marriage is about things that are a lot more important than cooking skills. The ability to cook shouldn't even be on the list when considering someone for marriage. If it is on the list, then I'd say that person isn't ready for marriage. They are likely marrying for the wrong reasons. In the case of someone who is already married, such as your boyfriend's dad, I shudder to think what that person's spouse must endure. It makes me wonder what other low priority factors are focused on in lieu of the things that truly matter in a marital relationship -- things such as unconditionally loving and desiring your wife regardless of her abilities, physically tangible traits, and her circumstances.

Oh my goodness. Thank you for understanding and explaining everything correctly! I feel the same way. When my boyfriend first told me about this, I burst into tears because I couldn't understand what I did wrong. I kept beating myself up for not being a cooking expert but now I know I'm not the wrong one here, his dad is. I discussed it with my boyfriend and he says his dad's crazy and that regardless, he still loves me. Yeah, my bf's mom has endured a lot from my bf's dad. He has punched and cheated on her before. (years years ago) but now he is a changed man and got baptised 2 years ago...

I forgot to mention that his dad prohibited my boyfriend from bringing me to his house. It's been weeks, if not months since I been there. I want to confess that I understand why God put this situation in my hands....
because I would sometimes sin when I would be at his house and I didn't know how to stop. God stepped in and created a situation that would prevent my sinning. I'm happy He did because every time I would sin, I would cry and regret it. I now his dad will probably change his mind later on...but for now.. eveything is awkward and I miss going to my bf's house just to cuddle in the sofa but i guess it's my fault. I ruined the privilege God gave me in the first place.