Boyfriend with Different Belief

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

DatingSmarts said:
Also it bothers me that your parents and family are trying to force you to become christian. they are trying to rush you. I don't think they should be doing that.

the holy spirit is the one who guides your spiritual. GOD IS A GENTLEMAN. He is not a high pressure salesman.

your family's faith is not your faith.

faith is a personal thing. by being pushy they are interfereing in the development of your faith.

I can see why you haven't embraced the christian faith up to this point no thanks to them.

While I agree trying to "force" a child to be a Christian is wrong. But as Christian parents we are commanded by God to encourage our children to follow Christ by our example and our teaching.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4)."

Furthermore, if she lives in her parents house they have EVERY right to discourage her from dating someone if they feel it is against Gods Word. It is their duty as good parents.

Now we could debate "proper" methods of discouragement (a heart to heart talk vs. "I forbid you from seeing him), but if done properly there is nothing wrong with it.

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

DatingSmarts said:
I would not go to family to discuss the issues of becoming a christian. I woudl go to a pastor. Go to people who are qualified to teach.

I am curious, what makes her parents "not qualified"?

By what critera do you dismiss their ability to instruct their own child?

Given the charges against MANY catholic priests currently would that make it right to disqualify ALL priests from being men of God?

In general, you shouldn't generalize. But her parents probably know her best and if they are walking with the Lord they are FULLY qualified to answer her questions of faith. I would argue that Christian Parents are possibly the best qualified teachers...

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

they are not qualified to teach because they have not studied scripture formally, as in, at school. they do not have theology degrees. more often than not, individuals teach the wrong stuff because they are not qualified to teach. the fact that she is being pressured is a red flag. major red flag.

she can just as easily go to her church pastor. it is a better route than her parents and friends.

i only know this from my own personal experience of searching for God. I got lots of bad info from regular catholics and protestants. and the best info i got was from talking to priests.

there is a saying when you want the answers you go to the top. her parents are not the top.

even in catholic history, there are saints who were being forced to marry people they did not want to marry. or being forced by their family to live a certain life that was not christian. some of those people wanted to be preists and received heavy opposition from their family/parents etc.

St francis of assisi is one who comes to mind--the peace saint. His parents were trying to force him not to become a priest. This is essentially the same thing that is happening with this girl. her family is trying to run and control her life. when the truth is GOD is the one who is in charge.

St Francis' parents dishonored him by their behavior. I can;t speak for ST Francis but I certainly would not honor someone who treated me with contempt and disrespect.

I am not saying that this girl's parent are treating her with contempt. But they are being disrespectful. They are trespassing against her.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

"But as Christian parents we are commanded by God to encourage our children to follow Christ by our example and our teaching."

right. by good example and correct teaching....not false teaching.

she is exploring the faith. yet she lived with her family all these years and they were not able to be a good example to her?????

hello---they were not a good example to begin with. if they were she would not be where she is right now. they are not qualified to teach. their example it appears to me was already poor.

JESUS IS A JEW. and so is his HOLY MOTHER.

I cannot tell you how many times I have come across prejudiced christians who fail to see this irony. Christians are gentiles. they are not more holy than jews.

There is a difference of belief only in regards to who jesus was. But everything else is the same. Christians and jews have the same bible. protestants believe more like jews than they are aware of due to the fact that they both read the same books of the bible. they have MANY of the same common beliefs.
However, people make these differences an issue because they insist on conformity. which is not always wise.

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

DatingSmarts said:
they are not qualified to teach because they have not studied scripture formally, as in, at school.

I have some Christian friends who have a great understanding of God's love and are deep in the Word and they never were formally trained.

I also know plenty of misguided people that went to seminary.

Formal education is not the only qualifier for instruction, to assume that a seminary grad is a better teacher just because he is a seminary grad is a horrible mistake.

What Seminary did the first Century pastors attend?

DatingSmarts said:
they do not have theology degrees. more often than not, individuals teach the wrong stuff because they are not qualified to teach.

People teach the "wrong stuff" because they were mislead or are lacking in their understanding of God's Word. This is true of many pastors as well as us lay people.

DatingSmarts said:
the fact that she is being pressured is a red flag. major red flag.

I see nothing in her post that says she is being pressured...[/QUOTE]

DatingSmarts said:
she can just as easily go to her church pastor. it is a better route than her parents and friends.

I ask again...why is it "better"? Just because he went to seminary? I would argue that more people are brought to Christ through friends and families than all the pastors combined. Spreading the Word is every Christians joy, it isn't reserved only for those who went to seminary.

DatingSmarts said:
i only know this from my own personal experience of searching for God. I got lots of bad info from regular catholics and protestants. and the best info i got was from talking to priests.

That may be your personal experience, that does not mean only Cathloic Priests are qualified to teach. I bet I can list 100 priests and pastors that would do more damage than good (most of them will be going to jail soon). This does not mean priests and pastors are not good resources, I still maintain that friends and family can be as good or better for answering questions.

DatingSmarts said:
there is a saying when you want the answers you go to the top. her parents are not the top.

You are right, God is the top. Priests and pastors are human beings just like parents are. Are you suggesting that your priest is closer to God than I am?

DatingSmarts said:
even in catholic history, there are saints who were being forced to marry people they did not want to marry. or being forced by their family to live a certain life that was not christian. some of those people wanted to be preists and received heavy opposition from their family/parents etc.

There is is huge difference. Scripture commands us not to marry a non-believer.

Scripture never tells us not to be a priest.

DatingSmarts said:
I am not saying that this girl's parent are treating her with contempt. But they are being disrespectful. They are trespassing against her.

By instructing her to follow God's Word? What would you have them do? Are you a parent?

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

Sigh...I can't believe I am being drug into this...

DatingSmarts said:
"But as Christian parents we are commanded by God to encourage our children to follow Christ by our example and our teaching."

right. by good example and correct teaching....not false teaching.

What has she been taught by her parents that is false?

DatingSmarts said:
she is exploring the faith. yet she lived with her family all these years and they were not able to be a good example to her?????

hello---they were not a good example to begin with. if they were she would not be where she is right now. they are not qualified to teach. their example it appears to me was already poor.

I am now assuming you can't be a parent, at least not of a teenager. Teenage rebellion is almost a given, it does not mean they are not good examples. You do not know of what you speak.

DatingSmarts said:
JESUS IS A JEW. and so is his HOLY MOTHER.

I cannot tell you how many times I have come across prejudiced christians who fail to see this irony. Christians are gentiles. they are not more holy than jews.

No one ever said anything about being more Holy. It is about harmony and working together. How can two people, who become one flesh, strive together to be closer to God when they have a fundamental disagreement as to the very nature of God?

DatingSmarts said:
There is a difference of belief only in regards to who jesus was. But everything else is the same. Christians and jews have the same bible.

No, they dont. And your statement show a lack of knowlege of either the Jewish or Christian faith.

DatingSmarts said:
protestants believe more like jews than they are aware of due to the fact that they both read the same books of the bible. they have MANY of the same common beliefs.

Some of the same books, it is an important distinction.

DatingSmarts said:
However, people make these differences an issue because they insist on conformity. which is not always wise.

It has nothing to do with conformity, it has to do with obedience to the Word of God.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

RIGHT ---- THE WORD OF GOD

not her parents words

not her boyfriends words

THE WORD OF GOD

which means, if GOD tells her she can be with this boy then guess what she must go against her parents wishes...because God's WORD IS HIGHER and she is being personally directed by GOD in spite of her parents wants and beliefs.

which is the same problem st francis of assisi had

so back to her original question

does she go against god or does she go against her parents?

IF she is meant to be with this boy ie it is god's will...then she will go against her parents will because THEY are not in gods will.

bottom line is she has to pray and seek the Lord.
but to be quite frank, unless he has asked her to marry him, this should not even be an issue. they should not be arguing about it. the fact that they are tells me that HER PARENTS are UNNECESSARILY making this an issue and therefore they are unnecessarily interfering in her life by forbidding her to even be FRIENDS with him. THAT IS UNCHRISTIAN. Hence her parents are a bad example.

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

And I submit that the Word of God specifically tells us not to marry non-believers. Therefore God could not POSSIBLY tell her to marry him.

Her parents advice is directly from Scripture.
Christ commanded children to honor their parents.

Seems pretty cut and dried to me.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

I want to point out one thing about CATHOLIC PRIESTS

98.4% of all Catholic priests are NOT sexual molesters
1.6 % have been found to have committed sex crimes.

only 1.6% priests have sexual issues.
The rest of them do not have these sexual issues.

Even so, I am sure that the 1.6% have a better knowledge of scripture than average people do. which means that 1.6% is still qualified to teach...however, their bad example causes scruples/raises doubts...for those who were molested.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

Christ commanded parents to honor thier children. He did not command chlidren to honor their parents. in fact, he told the children to leave their parents and to follow him instead.

P3nguin1 · Feb 24, 2004

DatingSmarts said:
Christ commanded parents to honor thier children. He did not command chlidren to honor their parents. in fact, he told the children to leave their parents and to follow him instead.

Wrong

4For God said, 'Honor your father and mother'and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' 5But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' 6he is not to 'honor his father ' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
8" 'These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
9They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.' " Matt. 15:4-9

Here Christ re-iterates the 5th Commandment, and call those who try and reason their way out of it Hypocrites

Lizzi4Christ · Feb 24, 2004

DatingSmarts said:
Christ commanded parents to honor thier children. He did not command chlidren to honor their parents. in fact, he told the children to leave their parents and to follow him instead.

Ephesians 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

http://web.mit.edu/lem/info/religious_harassment.html

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

"A sense of the dignity of the human person has been impressing itself
more and more deeply on the consciousness of contemporary man,[1] and the
demand is increasingly made that men should act on their own judgment,
enjoying and making use of a responsible freedom, not driven by coercion
but motivated by a sense of duty. The demand is likewise made that
constitutional limits should be set to the powers of government, in order
that there may be no encroachment on the rightful freedom of the person
and of associations. This demand for freedom in human society chiefly
regards the quest for the values proper to the human spirit. It regards,
in the first place, the free exercise of religion in society. This
Vatican Council takes careful note of these desires in the minds of men.
It proposes to declare them to be greatly in accord with truth and
justice. To this end, it searches into the sacred tradition and doctrine
of the Church--the treasury out of which the Church continually brings
forth new things that are in harmony with the things that are old."

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

"This Vatican Council likewise professes its belief that it is upon the
human conscience that these obligations fall and exert their binding
force. The truth cannot impose itself except by virtue of its own truth,
as it makes its entrance into the mind at once quietly and with power.

Religious freedom, in turn, which men demand as necessary to fulfill
their duty to worship God, has to do with immunity from coercion in civil
society. Therefore it leaves untouched traditional Catholic doctrine on
the moral duty of men and societies toward the true religion and toward
the one Church of Christ."

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

Some religious groups attempt, through pressure, to lure an individual to a religious belief which she or he does not already practice.

Observe the group's responses to you and how you feel. If you are sometimes uncomfortable, or any of the following statements are true about a group with which you are becoming involved, you should seek advice from a trusted person, outside of this group, and reconsider your involvement.

The group seems perfect. Everyone agrees and follows orders cheerfully.
The group claims to have ``all the answers'' to your problems.
You are asked to recruit new members soon after joining.
You begin to feel guilty and ashamed, unworthy as a person.
The group encourages you to put their meetings and activities before all other commitments, including studying.
The group speaks in a derogatory way about your past religious affiliation.
Your parents and friends are defined as unable to understand and help you with religious matters.
Doubts and questions are seen as signs of weak faith. You are shunned if you persist in these doubts.
Males are believed to have more rights and abilities than females.
You are invited on a retreat with the group, but they can't give you an overview of the purpose, theme, or activities before you go.

A destructive religious group is usually characterized by the following:

An authoritarian leadership which claims exclusive access to God's will.
Total control over members' daily lives.
Exclusivity and isolation.
Development of unhealthy emotional dependence.
Prohibition of critical analysis and independent thinking.
Utilization of methods of ego destruction and mind control.
Exploitative working conditions which discourage the full use of one's abilities.
Discouragement of free and independent pursuit of education.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

"This Vatican Council declares that the human person has a right to
religious freedom. This freedom means that all men are to be immune from
coercion on the part of individuals or of social groups and of any human
power, in such wise that no one is to be forced to act in a manner
contrary to his own beliefs, whether privately or publicly, whether alone
or in association with others within due limits.

The council further declares that the right to religious freedom has its
foundation in the very dignity of the human person as this dignity is
known through the revealed word of God and by reason itself."

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

WHOA!!!!!

Daily Meditation

February 24, 2004 / Tuesday of the Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

Mark 9:30-37

Jesus left from there with his disciples and began a journey through Galilee, but he did not wish anyone to know about it. He was teaching his disciples and telling them, "The Son of Man is to be handed over to men and they will kill him, and three days after his death he will rise." But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him. They came to Capernaum and, once inside the house, he began to ask them, "What were you arguing about on the way?" But they remained silent. They had been discussing among themselves on the way who was the greatest. Then he sat down, called the Twelve, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all." Taking a child he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to them, "Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the one who sent me."

John the Engineer · Feb 24, 2004

You'll pardon me for being so blunt but I do not find merrit in the doctrine of the Catholic Faith anymore than you would fine merrit in my quoting religious institutions of Baptists, Muslims, Jehovah's Witness', etc.

What the Catholic Faith believes is in interpretation of the bible through divine right of the Catholic Church as an entity. This is not a unilateral or complete Christian idea but the interpretation of one denomination.

I believe what I read and interpret from the bible, not what others dictate the bible is and mandate as absolute. If others advise, shape, or give new light and meaning to that interpretation then that's great. But I do not believe in absolute interpretation.

DatingSmarts · Feb 24, 2004

http://www.catholic.net/spiritual_living/template_channel.phtml?channel_id=6

thoughts on today's reading--as in the post above

Boyfriend with Different Belief

P3nguin1

Guest

P3nguin1

Guest

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

P3nguin1

Guest

P3nguin1

Guest

Well-Known Member

P3nguin1

Guest

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

P3nguin1

Guest

I'm worth waiting for.

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

1 Cor 13:4

Well-Known Member

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency