Boyfriend+Christmas=?

[BaptistGirl101]

Hello My Boyfriend Mike wants to get me an expensive present this year and I can't talk him out of it He wants to get me an ring thats about 50 dollars and I dont want him to spend that much What do you think I should do? THANX FOR ANY ADVICE AND GOD BLESS

 

[heartnsoul]

I'm not sure why you are against your boyfriend buying you an expensive Christmas gift. It leads me to wonder if you're feeling that way because maybe you don't like him that much and don't want to send him the wrong message?

I think you may need to be 100% honest with your boyfriend and have a serious conversation with him to explain your feelings as to why you don't want him to spend a lot of money for your gift. Otherwise, it could lead to hurtful feelings, resentment and misunderstandings down the road if you do not clarify and communicate your "heart" to him. Trust and honesty are so important in any relationship and I pray that you take time out to be honest with yourself and to him.

Whatever the reason is you feel that way, I think if you plan on building a meaningful long-term relationship with him, it is best to always be open and honest. Hope things work out for both of you. God bless you.

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I don't want my boyfriend to spend a lot of money on me for Christmas either, and it's not at all because I don't love him. I do. I really do. I don't want him to spend a lot of money on me because it's not so much the gift that matters at Christmas, especially this one, but spending time together. I am going to spend most of Christmas day with his family, and that is more important to me than an expensive gift. Also, money is pretty tight for both of us this year, but especially for me. I don't want him to spend a lot of money on me, when I cannot spend nearly that much on him. But he knows that he will get me what he wants to, and honors my requests for him to be reasonable with his finances. He also knows that money is tight with me and even if I don't spend a fortune on a gift for him, that whatever I do get him is a gift full of thoughtfulness, care and love.
We both know that the most important thing is that we love each other and get to spend time together.

Not wanting someone to spend $50 on a present is not a sign of not liking someone. There are married couples who won't spend more than $20 on gifts for each other. Are you saying they don't love each other?


For the OP, maybe you could just sit him down and talk to him about the ring. Ask him why he wants to get you this ring and explain why you don't want him to get it for you. Maybe it's the significance of a ring, the length of your relationship (how long have you been together?) or maybe just the cost.
Regardless of exactly your reasons, I think you should be honest with him and maybe give him some other ideas as to what you want for Christmas. Sometimes I think guys go to jewelry as a resort of not knowing what to get a girl. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe it doesn't work this time.

Hope you can talk with him and get things figured out.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Hello My Boyfriend Mike wants to get me an expensive present this year and I can't talk him out of it He wants to get me an ring thats about 50 dollars and I dont want him to spend that much What do you think I should do? THANX FOR ANY ADVICE AND GOD BLESS

The advice so far has been awesome.

I was in a similar position to you not long ago. My boyfriend (ex) wanted to buy me something really expensive, but I couldn't buy him something expensive in return.

I ended up being 100% honest with him - I sat down with him and told him that I can't afford to buy him something expensive. I asked him if he could buy something that wasn't too expensive because I would feel bad and guilty, even though he said it was okay.

He should respect you and your suggestions. It's awful to have a feeling of guilty or inequity hanging over your Christmas day.

 

[keyz]

I'm not suggesting that these posts are no good, but another thought to add is that some people perceive 'expensive' differently. What may be expensive to one partner might not be to another.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

make him a gift that you spend a lot of time on. Time is much more expensive than money.

 

[alwayz_remember_Calvery]

OP,
I'm in a very similar boat as you, except last i heard my bf was looking a necklace that was around $500 I told him he was not, under any circumstance allowed to spend that much. Boys, they're so hard to deal with

 

[unjustwar]

you can't talk him out of it .. heh guys are stubborn... and how do you know about the ring anyways???!? 50$ isn't that bad....

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I used to think $50 wasn't that bad either. But now, knowing I don't even have $50 readily available to me, it's a whole lot more meaningful!

It's all perspective. This time two years ago, I spent about $80 on my then boyfriend. Eek!

 

[BaptistGirl101]

Hey it's definitaly not because I dont like him !!I love him!! but for him money is a little tight

 

[Corbobs]

First off, $50 is not that much...considering what he would probably spend if he had more money...second, I would accept it...without hesitation...perhaps he simply wants one more way to show you he loves you...Pehaps he wants to say that no matter how little money he has, you're doubtlessly worth the extra effort to buy you a ring...Why on earth would he tell you what he's getting you...and especially why would he tell you how much it's worth?!?...

May the God of all Creation bless us all beyond our own comprehension.

 

[Hope_0004]

I think everyone's advice is good... however, when it comes down to it, if he has something in mind (such as a ring) that happens to cost $50, but he really wants you to have it, I think that I would accept it. He's found something that he wants you to have... that's sweet and thoughtful. I say you tell him how you feel, that you are strapped, and just make it clear that he doesn't have to spend a lot of money to make you happy. Then, if he still wants to buy the ring, graciously accept it and wear it all the time.

Just my two cents... which is about how much I have to spend this Xmas!

 

[MN John]

Tell him that you would rather have something less expensive. But if he still wants to give you the ring, then accept it graciously and forget about the price.

 

[Apollonian]

If you don't want a ring, suggest something else that he could get you that is just as nice.

Would you not like a ring? Of course, if it sends the wrong signals to be wearing a ring, then be honest about it. Otherwise, I say enjoy it. Let him pamper you a little. He will probably enjoy it every time you wear it. If you're never going to wear it, then say so ahead of time. I'd say don't focus on the amount so much.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

My bf and I set a cost limit for each other when it comes to Christmas. We both don't really need many things...lol...that's funny to say because I'm a struggling student and he is starting a business...but we don't need a lot of things. lol. I think limits on spending on each other are good...but if he wants to get you something, then why not? Don't you care about him?

 

[adnilgnav]

my boyfriend and i for christmas will use the reminder of the x-mas money for ourselves. If you have a problem about it talk to him about it. Maybe it's his way of wanting a stronger commitment from you or even expressing something that he can't say to you. I dunno ....

 

[Living4Him03]

Let him spend it on you and be thankful

 

[ChelseaInChrist]

Well if you don't think you can talk him out of it, I'd say just receive it and let him know that you appreciate it! =) He's only willing to spend that much money because he cares that much for you and wants to make you happy, right?

 

[ardeur]

I can totally understand the OP. I am desperately trying to save money for an upcoming move, and I am very tight on money. I love my boyfriend dearly, but I don't have the budget to buy anything over $30 (and that even feels like a lot). I asked him if it would be ok if we didn't spend too much money on each other this Christmas, and he said it was.

On the other hand, even though we're both very poor right now, he insists on buying me a really expensive ring for our engagement. I insisted that he needn't do so, but he said that I am worth so much to him and he happily insists on buying something more expensive (I am very allergic to cheaper gold and metals). I got the impression that he would feel even more uncomfortable if he bought something cheap. It matters so much to him.

 

[SweetBella]

i think that it will make him feel good to spend it on you... let him do it, its coming from the heart and he wants to do it!