block male

[restore]

I came from a abuse background, I think maybe it is the reason i block male. I was beated badly by dad and later abused by others sexually etc......so now when i was in the age for marriage, actually i already past the age, i always block marriage and i never really loved a male, although i dated some when i was not a real christian and did some crazy things.

A christian guy got a few visions from God months ago , God told him to come to me, but finally wake me up that i m a person that can not love a man.....

I still feel i need to get married cuz when i get older i need to find a family. but i do not love kids, do not love man. I will maybe abuse them, too, or treat them like machines or tools.

It is terrible, but I do not know how to do it.
I v read bunch of counselling books, and I know what is a perfect marriage, and i still love male in Christ as brother. but when i find their weakness, because there is no perfect male, i quickly judge them and want to throw them away or abuse them.
And even if I can accept them in Christ, and give them Christ love, i think i can. but i feel i stil block marriage.
I feel i can open an orphanage, or adopt orphans, but why do I need to marry a unperfect guy?
only Jesus is perfect......

 

[FallingWaters]

Your story is very sad. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. God can heal your wounds, and some of your feelings will change. There is hope.

 

[FallingWaters]

Has anyone counselled you to forgive your abuser?

 

[UnitynLove]

If you choose to get married then that is your choice you don't have to get married, but if you do want to get married or find a relationship you need time to heal from your past scars and past pains. God will heal you wounded emotions in due time, I know because we are all praying for you my sister. Amen.

 

[JoshuaM]

praying.

 

[lilymarie]

I came from a abuse background, I think maybe it is the reason i block male. I was beated badly by dad and later abused by others sexually etc......so now when i was in the age for marriage, actually i already past the age, i always block marriage and i never really loved a male, although i dated some when i was not a real christian and did some crazy things.

A christian guy got a few visions from God months ago , God told him to come to me, but finally wake me up that i m a person that can not love a man.....

I still feel i need to get married cuz when i get older i need to find a family. but i do not love kids, do not love man. I will maybe abuse them, too, or treat them like machines or tools.

It is terrible, but I do not know how to do it.
I v read bunch of counselling books, and I know what is a perfect marriage, and i still love male in Christ as brother. but when i find their weakness, because there is no perfect male, i quickly judge them and want to throw them away or abuse them.
And even if I can accept them in Christ, and give them Christ love, i think i can. but i feel i stil block marriage.
I feel i can open an orphanage, or adopt orphans, but why do I need to marry a unperfect guy?
only Jesus is perfect......

Your healing and restoration needs to come first through Jesus Christ.

There is no need to worry about a husband or children right now.

Falling Waters is right in that you need forgiveness counseling, and through Jesus' help you can forgive your enemies who hurt you 'and' pray for them to be blessed.

The praying for them to be blessed will hopefully help break their abusive cycle so that they will not hurt anyone else.

You need to be restored to your fullness of health through Jesus Christ before you need to think about a family. Come into the family of God first and let us help you in your healing through Jesus.

And just remember the word can't is not in God's vocabulary -- remember these words "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me."

I thought like you once with the words "can't", but it wasn't true. I overcame all and have prayed for my enemies to be blessed, and I have been healed. And, you too can be healed!

Praying to the Father for your healing in Jesus' name.

 

[restore]

Thank u ,there r so many bitterness here....and , i know it is the abuse curse, but it is so strange and hard to break, and i think i have forgiven already, cuz Jesus forgives me already too, but still so much pain.....yesterday my teen boyfriend sent me tons of his wedding pictures, he married a woman real quick, but u see he can marry and treat another woman v good,
but he loved me to death, same time abused me to death , too, it is a strange thing. we were more than 15 years relationships,and he also always made something to make me keep worrying a lot, even now when i sit here typing i still feeling those worry trauma overtaken me.
It is like a trauma movie of my life from childhood to every relationship, each finally ended up with a lot worry , fear, trauma.
but when we broke, seems every one they living pretty well without me.

 

[JoshuaM]

restore, past incidents to not dictate the future la. . please keep that in mind..

 

[RichardT]

I came from a abuse background, I think maybe it is the reason i block male. I was beated badly by dad and later abused by others sexually etc......so now when i was in the age for marriage, actually i already past the age, i always block marriage and i never really loved a male, although i dated some when i was not a real christian and did some crazy things.

A christian guy got a few visions from God months ago , God told him to come to me, but finally wake me up that i m a person that can not love a man.....

I still feel i need to get married cuz when i get older i need to find a family. but i do not love kids, do not love man. I will maybe abuse them, too, or treat them like machines or tools.

It is terrible, but I do not know how to do it.
I v read bunch of counselling books, and I know what is a perfect marriage, and i still love male in Christ as brother. but when i find their weakness, because there is no perfect male, i quickly judge them and want to throw them away or abuse them.
And even if I can accept them in Christ, and give them Christ love, i think i can. but i feel i stil block marriage.
I feel i can open an orphanage, or adopt orphans, but why do I need to marry a unperfect guy?
only Jesus is perfect......

Can you tell me what your name is? I think I know who you are..

 

[Gear853]

hi restore. i am deeply sorry about your past. i too is a victim of abuse (emotional abuse) and let me tell you that You are not alone.

Through your trust in God, he will slowly heal your scar. he is slowly healing mine, each day i see myself closer to become a emotionally healthier christian.

you are in my prayer, dear. pray to god, tell him about your pain, and that only HIM can heal you. not all male is bad. marriage and all that good stuff can wait. when that time comes, god will let you know!

trust that he have a plan for you, forgiving your abuser may sound impossible at time...i been down that road too! but as i form a more closer and more initimate relationship with our heavenly father. i feel this URGES to forgive them.

feel free to IM me if you ever need to talk. i'm more than happy to lend you a ear or two.

I will be pray for you

 

[restore]

Devil's plan started from when i was a kid.........since then, i never could live a normal life.
I m still trying hard to view male as bible says, as how God views them. but it is something really empty space in my brain. similar as deleted in computer.

 

[JoshuaM]

John 14:13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, because the work of the Son brings glory to the Father.
14 Yes, ask anything in my name, and I will do it!


God is with you sister. He loves you. Maybe it is true that you need a man in your life.. But the emptiness you must not expect man to fulfill.. Only God can fulfill the void. Only God can make you feel whole.

Colossians 2:8 Don't let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the evil powers of this world, and not from Christ.
9 For in Christ the fullness of God lives in a human body,
10 and you are complete through your union with Christ. He is the Lord over every ruler and authority in the universe.


But it is good you seek to view men how God does. That is a step in the right direction. I will keep you in my prayers.

Do not believe that you are required to be single when you want the opposite. If person feels the need to be with somebody it is usually a sign they need to.

1 Corinthians 11: 11 But in relationships among the Lord's people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women.

1 Corinthians 7: 9 But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust.

Many will use the verse before that when a disciple of Jesus said is better to stay unmarried like him, but one must also keep in verse 9 where it says that is not always the case.. And 1 Corinthians 11:11 that shows that it is natural for men and women to need each other. But if there is need for inner-healing before a marriage, that is wise.