Black Babies: RACISM

[Avatar]

My daughter came in from playing outside earlier today with a big smile on her face (she's 9).

"Daddy I want to have a black baby", she said. And I could see she was almost bursting from the effort to be serious.

Concerned, I played along, and said 'that's nice, why?'

This threw her, because she thought I would be upset.

"Aren't you mad, Daddy?"

"Why would I be?"

"Aren't black babies bad?"

I don't if there are other parents out there reading who've felt that same wrench of despair when someone with warped views has shared them with your child. I was at a loss for words for a moment. One of her friends had told her black babies were bad, and that dad would be mad if she said she was going to have one. And it would be funny to pretend.

My children are bi-racial, and racism is not something taught or practiced in our home. How utterly ridiculous to advance a view of a superior race when mommy and daddy are different races. But we're not black, and a friend of my daughter planted the seed that 'Black' was 'Bad'.

I just said to her (and I was having some problems being calm - as in not tearing up) 'everyone is the same, it doesn't matter what we look like. Black people are good, Inuit people are good, white people are good. There are bad people but its because of what they do, not how they look.

I wish I'd had better words. Any other parents with experiences similar or just advice?

 

[mpshiel]

Sounds pretty heart wrenching. But better that you caught on and now the topic is out in the open.

I can't really say much on the topic but to suggest perhaps finding some literature on the subject - there must be books on how to address the subject and impress upon children that who they are is special and glorious, regardless of what others may say out of ignorance.

 

[The Bellman]

My daughter came in from playing outside earlier today with a big smile on her face (she's 9).

"Daddy I want to have a black baby", she said. And I could see she was almost bursting from the effort to be serious.

Concerned, I played along, and said 'that's nice, why?'

This threw her, because she thought I would be upset.

"Aren't you mad, Daddy?"

"Why would I be?"

"Aren't black babies bad?"

I don't if there are other parents out there reading who've felt that same wrench of despair when someone with warped views has shared them with your child. I was at a loss for words for a moment. One of her friends had told her black babies were bad, and that dad would be mad if she said she was going to have one. And it would be funny to pretend.

My children are bi-racial, and racism is not something taught or practiced in our home. How utterly ridiculous to advance a view of a superior race when mommy and daddy are different races. But we're not black, and a friend of my daughter planted the seed that 'Black' was 'Bad'.

I just said to her (and I was having some problems being calm - as in not tearing up) 'everyone is the same, it doesn't matter what we look like. Black people are good, Inuit people are good, white people are good. There are bad people but its because of what they do, not how they look.

I wish I'd had better words. Any other parents with experiences similar or just advice?

Sounds like your words were just fine to me, Avatar. Also - and more importantly - I suspect that you show her daily by your example that colour of skin and racial origin is irrelevant. Kids bring home silly things like this...the right words from a parent (which you gave) and your example will last her much longer than some rubbish she picked up from a friend.

 

[funyun]

I think your words were fine, Avatar.

Good luck. Everything will be ok

 

[seebs]

I think it says a lot that she came to you with this; the way she came to you suggests that she was hoping for the answer you gave. She wanted to know whether her beliefs about you were right, or whether there was something she didn't know.

Good answer.